In contrast, Hyuk-jae seemed to settle in to his home better and better as time passed. The apartment was always warm with homecooked meals and carefully washed laundry, spotless with his efforts. The only thing missing, he noticed, was Nagisa. The Firebender tried to convince his boyfriend? to take space in his closet for things, but he just didn't seem very interested. Disheartened, Hyuk-jae continued to bring both their lunches to work and tried his best to make Nagisa happy.

He just seemed off, somehow. Like he wasn't happy. Hyuk-jae wracked his brain trying to figure out what else he could do, but he kept coming up dry. When they were together Nagisa smiled and he fell asleep easily enough. He enjoyed his meals, or at least he said he did. Hyuk-jae knew he wasn't displeasing physically. What was it? What was wrong? Was it too much time at Hyuk-jae's place?

Attempting to solve the problem, Hyuk-jae tried to spend more time in Nagisa's apartment. He cleaned when he came over, frowning at the state of the place and despairing over the kitchen. Was this really fine?

At dinner in Nagisa's apartment one day, they were eating without much talking. Hyuk-jae felt awkward, but assumed it was because they were tired. Work was exhausting, trying to please all those people! Nagisa got up to answer his phone and Hyuk-jae drew pictures in his vegetable sauce. He glanced at the younger man when he returned, curious.

"My parents... want me to come over for dinner sometime soon... Do... do you want to come with me?"

He paused with his food halfway to his mouth. "I — your parents?" That was... terrifying. At the same time, it was almost exhilerating. Nagisa wanted to introduce him to his family? Everything Hyuk-jae had read suggested that was a big step. Huge. Maybe — maybe he was just imagining that the younger man was unhappy. Maybe they just had to adjust to their new circumstance.

"I'd love to," he said, eyes bright.

Hyuk-jae couldn't imagine being so happy about seeing his own parents. Everything the younger man told him about his family sounded… well, too good to be true. Everyone he knew in Dragon Flats, the guys he'd been roommates with there, they'd had stories more like this. No family, or else no supportive family. On their own. But Nagisa — it sounded like he loved his parents, and they loved him.

"I think you'd like them! I'm sure mother would love to dote on you, and dad would love it if you showed him your guitar playing."

Smiling, the Firebender tried to say whatever sounded like he was very excited and not just terrified. Well, he was a little excited. Surely they would be nice, having raised Nagisa. They would have to work out a date to see the younger man's parents, which Hyuk-jae felt would be fine. Jainukul was very flexible with their scheduling, after all. It was easy enough to figure out a date, working with Nagisa's parents and their boss. The woman seemed to value family ties.

Unfortunately, the very next time they went in to work, Hyuk-jae had to sit in the back. Nagisa was booked solo with Nima, and hardly anyone booked Hyuk-jae solo. There was only Yoshida, and he often preferred booking them together as Hyuk-jae was awkward by himself. Nagisa complained about Nima, but the truth was pretty obvious. She hated Hyuk-jae and the fact that Nagisa liked him.

Actually, the Firebender wondered if she wasn't a bit too possessive of his boyfriend. Not that he would be able to say anything about it. Curling up on the bench of the locker room, Hyuk-jae cracked open the novel he'd put in his locker. He'd already read it, of course, as it was the same one Nagisa had given him weeks ago.

But he liked it and Nagisa gave it to him, so it was special. Passing the time quietly, he made it through until the rest of their bookings, which he tried to be graceful about. Before leaving work, both young men made arrangements for a night off to have dinner with Nagisa's parents —

Which came about very, very quickly. Hyuk-jae fussed over an outfit, trying to decide how best to impress them. He ended up choosing the royal blue he'd worn for his first date with Nagisa, because he knew the younger man liked it on him. Showing up at Nagisa's door an hour early, he fidgeted on the sofa.
"What if they don't like me?" Hyuk-jae said, finally, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I mean, I — I don't know why they would like me."

"It's like she doesn't realise my time with her is all play-acting. She knows we have other clients, right?"

Hyuk-jae suspected that Nima's problem wasn't with Nagisa having other clients, it was with Nagisa having a boyfriend. He was two things Nima could never be: close to Nagisa outside of work and also very definitely male. It was a relief to both of them that she didn't come back that week.

Nagisa's assurance that his parents had no reason to dislike him was little comfort. Hyuk-jae didn't think of himself sweet or kind, though he had been raised to be polite and he was not unaware of the fact that he was attractive enough. He let it go, however, deciding that his insecurities didn't always need to be Nagisa's problem.

They held hands in the cab Nagisa insisted on taking. Hyuk-jae would've preferred to walk, but the fluffy-haired man would have none of it. Arriving at the house, the Firebender stared at it for a moment. It looked so nice! Much nicer than the house he'd grown up in. The jasmine smelled sweet and it felt homey to him even from outside. Perhaps it was the simplicity he found so comforting.

The woman answering the door was obviously Nagisa's mother. The resemblance was similar to that of Hyuk-jae and his father — Nagisa was obviously her child, no one would say otherwise seeing them next to each other. She hugged him fiercely, squishing him close. It amused Hyuk-jae even as it embarrassed his boyfriend. Nagisa's father, on appearing, seemed like someone Hyuk-jae would like. Quiet and accommodating. Stepping inside, Hyuk-jae paused for a moment as one of the few-seconds-long absence seizures swept over him.

"… my friend, Hyuk-jae."

Wait, his what? His friend? Hyuk-jae glanced at Nagisa, opening his mouth, but then realized that this meant the shorter man didn't want his parents to know about their relationship. That meant that he either hadn't told them anything about his sexuality, or… or he just wanted to keep Hyuk-jae a secret.

His friend. Right. Hyuk-jae shook Sano's hand politely, murmuring something about how nice it was to meet them and how very well they'd raised their son. Following directions, he went to the sitting room and sat amongst the mismatched furniture. It was a comfortable room, one that seemed like a family had lived there for some time. Hyuk-jae cradled a cup of tea in his hands, looking around as Nagisa's mother admonished him for not calling.

She treated him, he noticed, like a child. Hyuk-jae wondered if Nagisa was fully aware of it — Nima did the same, of course. It likely was spurred on by the man's small stature and childish behavior, but at the moment, he had the grace to look embarrassed. Luckily for Nagisa, Megumi soon turned her attention to their guest.

"So, Hyuk-jae, is it? … You must be really special to him, he never gets close to anyone."

Special indeed. Hyuk-jae flushed the barest hint of rose in his cheeks. "Oh, no — I'm sure he just feels responsible for me," he said, brushing away the idea that he must be special. Of course he wasn't. "Nagisa helped me get a job. I was ah, a bit down on my luck? When we met." He smiled at her, unconsciously using his pretty, charming smile, the one he used at work. It was different than the crooked grin he wore when genuinely amused and alone with Nagisa.

Sano, being a quiet person, asked him few questions. Hyuk-jae inquired about the piano and the man's work, saying how nice it must be to be a musician. "I play some," he said, "but I'm much better with the guitar. Do you write your own music?" Nagisa had informed the Firebender about his father's job, of course. He was secretly a bit jealous.

It was Megumi who asked about his family, those uncomfortable questions he'd rather not answer. "Oh — my father is an electrical worker," he said in a off-handed way. "We don't really speak. It's complicated." Usually that was a hint to drop a subject, right?

The food was delicious. Hyuk-jae didn't have to say he couldn't eat something even once — Megumi gave him water and there didn't seem to be enough rice for him to eat so it just seemed natural that he didn't take any. He suspected his clearly-not-boyfriend of having phoned ahead to give her directions.

Hyuk-jae's chair was next to Sano's, which he appreciated. Nagisa was so different from his father! It was such a surprise. The Firebender was so happy to hear that Sano composed his own songs. "Do you mind playing?" Of course he probably minded! He probably spent all day doing it for people who paid. "I mean — it's fine if you don't," he amended quickly, feeling embarrassed for asking. It was just that he never got to talk to musicians. He never really got to play except for himself. Which was fine, but — ah, it just was nice to talk to someone new.

Nagisa's parents kept looking at each other, and winking. Hyuk-jae wondered if this meant that Nagisa's parents knew all about his 'secret', but wanted to let him tell them in his own time. He wondered what that must be like, having someone love you so much. A pang of jealousy hit him as Megumi babied Nagisa a little, cutting up his meat. Had his mother ever treated him that way, even when he was small?

He couldn't remember.

It came so naturally to them, being a family. Sano was quiet and easy to talk to. Megumi was the same chatterbox her son was, and her mother-henning had a sweet closeness to it. Naghisa half-heartedly tried to push her away, but it didn't really work and he wasn't really trying.

"Maybe it's time you bring a special someone and introduce them to us."
"I have a special someone."
"Oh? Anyone we know?"
"Maybe."

Hyuk-jae missed Megumi's wink in his direction. Instead he pushed a bit of vegetable around his plate, looking down at it and feeling oddly distressed. Nagisa had very clearly called him just his friend. Which lead to the conclusion that Nagisa very clearly did not think of him as his boyfriend, didn't it? And why did that upset him so much? He hadn't really had the right, he supposed, to call him his boyfriend in his head.

"Yeah," he murmured, "you can introduce them to me, too."

Sano fed him some musical metaphor about different tempos and Hyuk-jae almost laughed, but Nagisa and Megumi came back. He wanted to tell Sano that the different tempos, in this case, seemed like they weren't compatible. Nagisa didn't appreciate the metaphor either, looking mortified.

The cab ride home was awkward and quiet. He had no idea what to say. It wasn't that dinner had gone poorly, just — it seemed like Nagisa's parents even liked him. And what was that about, Megumi holding his hands and saying things before he left? Slow on the uptake? The Firebender felt like that described him, not Nagisa. The two of them exited the cab and paid, walking up the steps to the brownstone like normal. Nagisa stopped, though, at the door, turning around.

Hyuk-jae moved forward to hug Nagisa, kiss him like normal — and the fluffy-haired man jerked away from him, stammering a good night and half-heartedly thanking him for coming before ducking into his flat. Hyuk-jae didn't feel like Nagisa was happy he'd gone to dinner. In fact, it felt like the opposite. He wished he hadn't gone at all. Murmuring about seeing him at work, Nagisa shut the door quickly.

He shut the door in his face. Hyuk-jae stood on the doorstep for a moment, shocked. The lock clicked and Hyuk-jae was on the doorstep, standing there like an idiot, wanting to cry. Swallowing roughly he turned, going back down the stairs and starting the long walk back to his flat. He scrubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand.

Stopping at a shop on the way he borrowed a phone, calling Yoshida. If he was going to spend a night sad and alone, he might as well earn money. The businessman sent a cab for him and he went to him, wordlessly. The man was exactly how he'd imagined, holding little to no surprises except, perhaps, that he was more sadistic than Hyuk-jae had counted on. By the time he got home he was completely worn out, and he fell into bed and sleep instantly, blessedly able to forget about his horrible night.

When he went into work the next night sore with bruises forming just under the collar of his shirt, arriving ten minutes early, he waited for Nagisa for twenty minutes. The shorter man didn't show up. Finally, exasperated, Hyuk-jae went to Madam Jainukul's office. She seemed surprised to see him.
"What are you doing here?" she asked. "Nagisa called in for tonight, so I cancelled all your bookings." Her stern face was slightly apologetic. "I didn't have any solo bookings for you, and I thought you must've been included in his call-in."
"I wasn't," Hyuk-jae said in a brisk tone of voice.
"Yes, I can see that." Jainukul returned his tone. "Don't you boys live together? Why would you be unaware of his absence?"
"It was a temporary arrangement." Hyuk-jae saw no reason to expand upon the matter, but did provide his new address for her.

Jainukul eyed the bruising around his neck but said nothing about it, choosing instead to offer him a night in the office doing filing. Doing office work wouldn't pay nearly as well as hosting, but it was better than nothing. Hyuk-jae accepted and quietly sat until morning, filing things and refusing to talk about his life. It was just as well that she left him alone, because he was in the poorest mood imaginable. He knew he didn't have a telephone in his apartment, but Nagisa could have sent him a note if he was sick. Considering that he'd seen him the night before, Hyuk-jae sincerely doubted he was sick. No, Nagisa was punishing him. Nagisa was punishing him and he didn't even know why. And tomorrow was his birthday!

Not, he reminded himself, that that really means anything. It was one more year. He would finally be out of his teens — twenty years old. It seemed strange to think of himself as not being nineteen anymore. Hyuk-jae ate his lunch in the office and left when Jainukul did, as the Club closed. He took the lunch he'd packed for Nagisa back to his apartment, cursing himself for taking the time to make heart-shaped onigiri and the little pentapus sausages. What was he doing? He couldn't eat that stuff. It would go to waste, now. Still, the Firebender couldn't bring himself to throw it away.

He wore all black to work the following evening, including his old stompy boots and faint smudges of black liner around the eyes. The bruising around his neck was mostly hidden by his shirt collar, but he brought a black scarf with him just in case it was too obvious. Once again the tall young man arrived before Nagisa, and as he stood in the locker room, he wondered if Nagisa was going to skip out again. Why was he punishing him? Hadn't he done everything right? He'd cooked for him and cleaned for him and made sure he was satisfied in other ways and gone on the date and... Gritting his teeth, Hyuk-jae slammed his locker shut and looked over his list.

One name stood out among all the others as one he recognized, but not from the Host Club. Lee I-an. Listed not once, but twice.

Hyuk-jae met Nagisa's greeting with a simple nod of his head, even more quiet than usual. He was taller than normal in his stumpy boots, and his all-black attire was a stark contrast to the shorter man's sunny getup. It reinforced to him again how very different they were, all the reasons Nagisa would have someone else to think of as his 'someone special'. He didn't want Hyuk-jae as his boyfriend. His housekeeper, maybe. His cook, sure. But not his boyfriend.

"Sorry I missed work yesterday. I think I ate some bad pre-bed snacks so I got a bit sick."

What a liar. Hyuk-jae knew what was really going on — Nagisa didn't come as a way to punish him, was punishing him still by looking so absolutely and totally fine. He didn't care at all, filling silence with his usual chatter. The Firebender said as little as possible, brushing aside the apology by saying he'd just worked in the office since Jainukul had cancelled all their bookings.

Taking his hand to enter the room, Nagisa didn't bother looking at him. Maybe he was unimpressed with how Hyuk-jae had acted around his parents. He knew he'd been quiet, but… he hadn't realized it would bother the younger man so much. He wouldn't have gone if he'd known.

Luckily for Hyuk-jae, Lee was first on their list. Nagisa sat up straighter as the gangster entered, looking out of place in his suit and slicked-back hair. Bright green eyes sparkled in his face, and the suit was one of the flashiest in the room — if not the flashiest. He was a tough man and it showed, but Hyuk-jae's smile upon seeing him was utterly genuine and sweet. Under his arm the man carried a small, brightly-wrapped package. He set it aside on the table immediately as Hyuk-jae stood. "Jae-ya!" Lee pulled him into a warm hug.
"Lee?"
"Sure, wasn't I on your list? I finally caught up with you — why didn't you tell me you'd got on here?" Putting the Firebender at arms' length, he looked him over even as he offered him a single, yellow rose. "It's Eunhyuk here, right? Sorry about that."

"You're looking a bit healthier than usual," the gangster remarked. "It's good to see, especially today."
"What are you doing here?" Hyuk-jae's hands rested on Lee's elbows, his orange eyes bright.
"Don't be an idiot!" Lee laughed. "I came to see you, of course. It's your birthday. How could I not?" Peering around Hyuk-jae, he seemed to notice Nagisa for the first time. "Ah, but you have a partner here. Smart of them, marketing you with a kid like this." His green eyes swept down Nagisa's body, almost dismissive.

The two of them took a seat and Lee ordered champagne, refusing to take no for an answer. "Even you can have one tiny glass on your birthday," he said, pushing one towards Hyuk-jae.
Lifting it to his lips, the young man smiled before taking a drink. It was the first time he'd ever had anything but water or tea in the Club, and several other hosts were staring. Setting the glass down, he cleared his throat. "This is Shouta," he said, sweeping a hand towards Nagisa. "You booked us together, I believe."
"Well, for now." Lee leaned his chin in his hand. "I think I asked for you by yourself after."
Hyuk-jae laughed at that. "You know you did. I can't believe you're here! How's the girls? And the Eye?"

The gangster laughed and chattered with Hyuk-jae, telling him all about his sweet children and the rest of the boys down at the Wooden Eye. "Everyone misses you," he assured him, "but no one more than me."
"Flatterer."
Lee asked a few questions of Nagisa. How old was he? And how long had they been working together? It was hard to hold to a role with him, because he seemed to simply be having none of it.

"I know he looks young," said Hyuk-jae, automatically defensive for Nagisa, "but he's really eighteen." He smiled at the shorter man, trying to put him at ease. Nagisa looked so uncomfortable! Was it because Lee was obviously a gangster?
"Ohhhhhhh," said Lee. "My mistake." He grinned at Nagisa, showing his teeth. "Maybe the outfit threw me off."

When Lee asked what the shorter man's role was, Nagisa just shrugged. It was so unlike him! "The clients all prefer him to me," said Hyuk-jae. "He makes them happy."
Lee raised a brow. "You don't?"
"It's not that kind of Club."
Laughing, the gangster waved a hand. "I know, I know. But you're a nice guy too!"

Lee didn't seem fazed at all by the seizures. In fact, Hyuk-jae had one of the longest absence seizures he'd ever had at the table with Nagisa, and the gangster simply… waited. He paused his sentence and watched the Firebender with gentle eyes, waiting for him to 'come back to life'. Patting Hyuk-jae's forearm, he smiled a little. "Long one," he said.
"What did I miss?"
The man lifted a shoulder. "Nothing. You know I stop talking for you."

Pushing the package across the table, Lee grinned. "Go on, then! Twenty is a good year!"
Glancing at Nagisa, Hyuk-jae peeled the bright red paper back. It was a brand-new and hardcover novel from a detective author whose books he'd read at Lee's house. Hyuk-jae loved everything by the writer, and his face lit up when he saw it. "But — this isn't even out yet!" he protested. "How did you —"
Shrugging, Lee linked his fingers behind his head and leaned back in his chair. "Gotta get something nice for my best boy."

Hyuk-jae turned to show the novel to Nagisa, to point out that it was an advance copy, but the fluffy-haired man didn't seem interested. Worse, he seemed annoyed with him.No matter what he tried, Nagisa remained silent and uncomfortable. Hyuk-jae wilted a little, all his efforts to bring the shorter man into conversation falling flat. Lee glanced back and forth between them as if trying to figure something out, and when the hour with both of them was up, he seemed a little relieved.

The two of them departed for a room, Lee winking at Nagisa as he left. Once safely ensconced behind a closed door, Lee pulled Hyuk-jae into a tight embrace. "You should've told me," he said, "when you came here. I was worried. You even moved!"
"Well, I — it just happened so fast," Hyuk-jae said, sitting down with a pot of tea and motioning for Lee to do the same. "I was living with Nagisa. That's his real name, obviously."
"Yeah, I gathered. What exactly is your relationship?"
"Um…" Hyuk-jae looked down at the cups and busied himself pouring tea.
"Boyfriends?"
"Well… I thought so, but… I guess we didn't make it official. And —"
"What does he call you?" Lee took the offered cup of tea, blowing it on it a little.
Hyuk-jae frowned. "His friend."

While initially, Hyuk-jae had felt better having Lee with them, that feeling faded as the man questioned him about Nagisa. They talked about the apartment and the cooking and cleaning. Lee seemed incredulous that Nagisa could possibly have let Hyuk-jae do everything. "And, you know. In bed? I mean, at least —"
"Well, I just… I thought it would be nicer…" he trailed off, realizing how stupid he sounded. His chest hurt.
The gangster barked a laugh. "Oh, come on! Are you serious? This guy's just using you, Hyuk-jae! You should at least make him pay you if it's gonna be like that." Lee drank the last of his tea. "It sounds like you just got picked up for a good time."

Nagisa wasn't like that! Hyuk-jae opened his mouth to protest, but —
This is my friend.
The memory of Nagisa's introduction at his parent's house sprang to mind. He'd called him his friend. And shut the door in his face after saying he had a special someone. Maybe Lee was right. Hyuk-jae curled his fingers into a fist on his thigh, chewing his lower lip. "No, that's not… that's not right."
"Really?" Lee gave him a deep, pitying look. "You can't tell even after all this time? This kid just… picked you up, off the street, and let you live with him?"
"He's just a nice person!"
"Yeah, and I'll bet he was really nice to you, wasn't he? Enough to make sure you'd stick around and do things for him, free of charge, right? Tell me, did he ever even once touch you on his own?"
He kissed him in the carriage. That one time. That counted, didn't it? Hyuk-jae said so, but Lee shook his head. "That's not what I mean, and you know it."

By the time the hour was up, Hyuk-jae had no idea how he felt. He was glad Lee had come. It was nice to see him. But the pain in his chest, from before, was worse than ever. He felt like crying, like breaking things. How could he possibly have ever, ever been so stupid? Of course Nagisa had no real feelings for him! And worse, he'd been so, so quick to believe that he could.

Guys like that, Lee had said, before leaving, don't go for guys like you. Like me. Guys like that get married. They have babies. And they laugh at us when we're gone, unless we learn to laugh first.

Hyuk-jae didn't feel like laughing. He came back to Nagisa, sitting down quietly. He almost looked ghostly, so pale in his black clothes. Glancing at the younger man, he tried to smile. "So," he said. "That's… that's Lee. I've known him for a few years now. Sorry it was — such a surprise. I didn't realize he knew I was here." As if Nagisa cared. Looking down at his hands, he told himself over and over not to cry.

Frowning, Hyuk-jae narrowed his eyes. Was Nagisa drunk? He glanced at the wine glass on the table. Maybe not, but he was definitely on his way there. He'd never seen Nagisa drink that much — what was going on with him? He opened his mouth to say something, but —

"You call him nice things too, when you're alone? … Or is that just something you do, eh?"

Hyuk-jae felt as if Nagisa had punched him. Was he — was he calling him a whore? At work? Right now? Hot tears pricked at his eyes. "N-no," he stammered, "I told you, I haven't seen him in a long time… since before I met you…" But it just kept going. Nagisa was obviously still angry with him. Or worse, this was how Nagisa actually thought of him.

"You know how we kids are, with our short attention spans. Gosh, I didn't even understand anything you grown ups said."

"What are you talking about?" The Firebender felt so lost! Had he missed something?

"You sure you wouldn't rather go home with Lee?"

"No," he said, trying to keep his voice even, "why would I —" Nagisa cut him off for the second time.

"What a great birthday though. Your boyfriend coming to surprise you at work? Not that I'd know anything about what boyfriends do, ha-ha!"

That was enough. Growing angry now, Hyuk-jae tightened one hand into a fist. "Lee is not my boyfriend," he said. Now he knew that Nagisa was making fun of him for having thought of him as his boyfriend. Lee was right. The shorter man was laughing at him, at the very idea that Hyuk-jae could have thought of him as his boyfriend. He'd been messing with him, the whole time! Abruptly, Nagisa went to the back, leaving Hyuk-jae at the table.

Hell no. The Firebender stood quickly, taking the book with him. Nagisa could not say those things and just walk away. It was inexcusable. What's more, Hyuk-jae had a thing or two of his own to say, and none of it was appropriate for their clients' ears. He left word with someone else to call for them when their clients arrived and went to the back himself, stopping to put the book in his locker before looking around. Catching sight of Nagisa sitting in a curled up position on the floor, he stalked over, standing in front of him but not bothering to sit.

"What the hell is your problem?" Hyuk-jae snapped, his temper finally having given way. He was usually not prone to yelling at others, likely due to repeated bad experiences with it himself. "What did I wrong this time?! Is it just that you hate learning even the smallest thing about my life?" Nagisa had been rude when Lee was with them. Not openly, of course. But he'd ignored him, made no attempt to be nice or even to seem happy that he was there. While seeing him was a surprise, he'd thought that Nagisa would be happy to know something about his friends from before. Clearly he'd been mistaken, and why not? Why would Nagisa care at all about his life before?

"He's not classy enough for you? Or is it just me that you're bored with?" He knew he shouldn't, but once Hyuk-jae got going it was hard to stop. "Is that it? I wasn't as fun as you thought. Or was it because I didn't let you screw me?" Nagisa had probably thought he'd get a lot more out of Hyuk-jae for free than he had. Maybe he was just upset at the lost opportunity. After the last sentence the dam finally broke, tears coming forth and ruining his eyeliner. "Why are you still punishing me? Wasn't last night enough? I brought your lunch and everything but you had them cancel all of our clients! Because I'm not able to take them myself, and you know it! Is it funny to you, that I have to have you here to cover for me, to make up for the fact that I'm pathetic and abnormal? And I even brought your lunch, I made rice for you, and you just — I had to work in the office, by myself. For minimum wage! How could you do that?!" Frustrated, Hyuk-jae rubbed the heel of one hand at his eye. He took a ragged breath.

"I know I'm stupid for even thinking there was a remote possibility that you cared about me," he said, not yelling any more, "but I did. Isn't it funny? And I tried, I tried really hard, to make you happy. I thought you would be pleased with me if I did things for you. And I'm sorry I wasn't perfect when I met your parents. I didn't know what to say." Hyuk-jae was shaking, unable to stop himself from crying. He backed away from Nagisa, reaching for a chair. The embarrassing thing was that he could not, no matter what he tried, stop crying. He felt so... so stupid, and so hurt.

What?!

"You introduced me as your friend!" Hyuk-jae's voice got stronger with the tide of his temper. "You introduced me as your friend. Why should I think you meant me when you started talking about 'someone special'?!" His parents didn't know about him? God, that was hilarious. Hyuk-jae rolled his eyes. "They know, okay? Trust me! They know."

As for his birthday, was Nagisa serious? Hyuk-jae barked out a laugh. "Really? I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was five. Why should I bother mentioning it? In case you haven't noticed, it always goes to shit!" He jumped when Nagisa slammed a fist into the lockers with a loud 'bang'.

Nagisa wouldn't hit him, would he? Orange eyes widened, laced with fear. Surely not. He wouldn't. The shorter man continued yelling at him, about how he should've known who he was talking about. How it shouldn't have hurt his feelings to be introduced as just a friend, nobody special. Despite what Megumi had said, in Hyuk-jae's mind, a friend was still just that — a friend. And Nagisa had called him his friend.

Despite Nagisa's command, he couldn't stop crying. "I never once said anything like that!" Hyuk-jae protested. He'd never called Nagisa a baby or anything like it. Not once. "I —"

But then Nagisa mentioned his moving out and Hyuk-jae stared at him, shocked. "You're mad at me for moving out?!" he asked in disbelief. "But — you never asked me to stay! Not once! How was I supposed to know you wanted me to stay?!" He'd thought his presence bothered Nagisa, thought he'd wanted time alone. How could he have known it wasn't like that? Just because Nagisa said he'd miss him? Please. As for the rest —

"Introduce you to my family?" Hyku-jae laughed, a pained sound. "Are you drunk? I can't introduce you to people who act like I don't exist! I don't have a family any more, Nagisa. I haven't had a family in three years. And the one time you meet someone who was kind to me before you, you act like — like this." Lee was as good as family got to Hyuk-jae. He was the only person who ever remembered his birthday, the only person who gave him gifts. He was the only person who thought of the seizures as just a thing, nothing important.

"You, care about me?"

"But I love you," Hyuk-jae said, voice very quiet.

What a joke.

No kidding. "Yeah," said Hyuk-jae, softly, looking down at his hands. "That's me."