My arrhythmia is acting up. I hate it so much. It's like having a hummingbird trapped in your ribcage. Also it makes me queasy. Ugh.

My computer stopped working :/ I've almost fixed it, but it still bugs me because I had to go to school an hour earlier to finish my homework cause I use an online text book

So, my week sucks. (Before I go into any of this, I'm a waitress at a country club.)

I went to work this morning at 9 and left at one. I have to go back at 4 to reset, and that will probably only be like a half an hour. (We had a Mahjong Tournament.) Tomorrow I go to to work at 10:30, and may or may not get to leave for an hour because we have a memorial service at 4, so I probably won't get out until at least 7. I'll be at my internship on Wednesday from 9 - 3. I work splits Thursday, Friday at Saturday which are about 7 1/2 to 8 hours (10:30 - 2/2:230 and 5 - 9). And then I to work at 10:30 on Sunday, and probably out until at least 4 because we have to move *all* the tables off the carpet because they're cleaning it on Monday.

So, at least 46 hours possibly more. Shoot me now.

Well. This will be really personal so if you don't wanna read, feel free not to.

My bf of 2 1/2 years broke up with me last night. He'd been avoiding it for several days leading up to yesterday, telling me that he didn't think we were good together anymore but also that he didn't want to lose me/break up. Well, it's done. And the whole time I was scared and confused and hurt and I felt like there was no one else that I could turn to. I felt like I was being dropped into a pit where I'd stay dark and alone forever.

And then... Idk. Today was different. I woke up and I talked to people. Spent a lot of time chatting on another board, writing, making graphics. The hardest part of today was returning his stuff and getting mine back, and I made it through. And idk. After so long I thought I couldn't function without his support... And today I learned I can.

There's this freedom I have that I don't ever remember feeling. I was offered an admin position on that other rpf. I'm looking forward to work tomorrow. I feel like I can lose weight and quit smoking. I don't think I've had a breakup this... fast before. It's so like the first boyfriend I had, who was actually gay and never told me, but I went nuts a bit back then and now...

I mean I still feel emotional. I feel like too much stimulus in one way or another will send me over the edge... But it hasn't, not yet. And I may not have done any homework or studying for classes, but I got to relax. Idk. It's weird.

@ Sashu: Sounds like you're growing up to me (a good, non-condescending observation ;x). Breakups are hard, but sometimes people grow apart. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just human nature. What's important is to realise that if you're entering a relationship because you think that you're going to be alone forever if you don't, then you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Remember: you can't be in a loving relationship if you don't love and respect yourself first. I think you're finding your inner strength, and that will really make you happier in the long run.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to say that it's okay to be sad! Breakups are sad, sometimes (a lot of times). Move on at your own pace, and make sure you do process any sadness you might have, or it might turn to bitterness later.

I think you're being very mature, though, and that makes me happy for you. <3

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On a somewhat lighter note: Dragon Age: Origins, how I have missed you! Though, stupid Alistair, what are you doing?! Myrna is Zev's, why you all givin' her a rose and stuff. D< Stop it. Cousland's for you, not Tabris! STAHP.

Welp. Good mood destroyed.

Just got a ragetext from him. Because of something I didn't even do. Cool.

After all that he still makes me feel like crap. Sorry Kami. Maybe I'm not that strong. This sucks. I mean, he says not to text me. Okay, fine. I wasn't going to anyway. And now he's trying to stop me from doing something I didn't even talk to him about at all. People are going behind my back now and I don't like it.

Cool. Sorry again Kami. Ugh.

@sashu - Remember, you have the choice to not engage people who are being jerks. Admitting you're not that strong is strength in itself; it takes a lot of strength to admit that you can be hurt. If people are going behind your back, then they weren't your friends to begin with. If he texts you again tell him politely but firmly that you will not be talking to him any more. If he persists, don't reply. If people are going to talk about you behind your back, and if he's going to play games, then they aren't worth one nanosecond of your time. You deserve better, and you should surround yourself with people who think the same. I believe in you, and everyone on TARP does too.

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the pumpkin spice latte is so good.

^i can vouch for that. Damn, Starbucks. Y u so good?

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Meh. Taking two AP classes and missing a full day of school? And a broken computer? Does anyone have a surplus of good luck they'd like to share with me?

A Long Display Name Here: the problem is that he's been my best friend for years. Since the beginning of high school. And i don't wanna lose him as a friend but I can't emotionally deal with him acting like this, you know?

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On the other hand, we're working out skin issues with the site i just got promoted on X[

EDIT: AAAND the coders decided to log off. coolll =\

@sashu: Even best friends grow apart, honey. Keeping a friend who no longer acts like one close to you because of sentiment will be more hurtful than it is helpful. Tell him that you value his friendship, but you cannot deal with his immaturity — and he's welcome to be friends with you when he's ready, but until then you are not going to be party to his negativity. That way, the decision is his, not yours, and if the friendship is lost he only has himself to blame; and you can move on, knowing that it was his choice, rather than any shortcoming on your end, that ended the friendship.

I know it's hard, but when friends are no longer friends, it hurts more in the long run to keep letting them negatively affect you. Ultimately, though, the choice is yours. I speak from a lot of trial and error when it comes to exes. I am amicable with most, good friends with two of them, and am not on speaking terms with another two. The choice is always theirs, though: either be nice, or don't come around at all. I will respond (or not respond, as the case may be) based on their choice on how to proceed.

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Dragon Age Y U SO ADDICTING.

Speaking of friends and doing what's best for you, a friend I haven't talked to in three years came online tonight. I want to talk to her, but the general consensus among our old HS friends is that she hasn't grown up at all (and maybe even became more childish, if that's possible). I miss the friendship we once had, but I don't know if I want to tarnish those treasured memories with something less pleasant.

EDIT: Well, I went for it. It wasn't a bad thing, but it wasn't great either. She just mostly whined about how terrible her life has been even though it's mostly a result of poor personal choices. Didn't ask a thing about me, then went to bed. #rude.

Yeah, some friends you just move away from. I had a best friend for nearly ten years. Then I moved. We stayed in touch, but we just grew up at very different rates. We're still friends, but sometimes you just have to put some distance. Between anyone really. Sometimes we forget about space. It can be healthy for you to put some space. Especially if they're being a snot. Hard as it may be...

Sorry to hear that Kami. I get so annoyed by people who seem to think friendship is only a take situation, not a give and take situation.

~~

I sort of want to apply for Korra, or Tahno, or another canon. On the other hand... its really daunting. I guess I'll have to think about it.

We do need them, so it never hurts to try. You never know, you could do well, and if not, at least you tried, right?

It's not the application, it's the part that comes after it. So if I hazard a guess, do we play out the events of the show? What are we allowed to free form? (Within character, of course)!

Edit : It'd probably be best to move this to PM if that's alright.

You are restricted to the events (Mako Cheating, Makorra being a thing) but how they go about the events is up to you. (Mako may apologize) mostly anything that has plot relevence has to be done, but the flavor of what happens is up to you. (if that makes sense) I tihnk that's how it is anyway
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Work in twenty minutes. boo! Was also playing a game of ME3, and the round started.

Yes, Seojin, feel free to PM me if you want, but Jin's right. This conversation should be moved, though, I think, as it's getting more forum question-and-answer-related.

Jin, I've been obsessed with ME2 ever since my brothers bought add-ons for it despite the fact I haven't finished my me3 game xP

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I tried to take a nap before dinner yesterday. I ended up sleeping for 13 hours. Ahhhhhh! And I had homework! -grumble grumble-

Airi. I know, ME2 is my favorite in the Trilogy by far. Best LI imo, best missions, good auto-save feature, better combat. And now they're coming out with the trilogy box-set for Xbox, PC, and PS3 and I'm frickin excited.

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Uber-duber tired for no reason.