Hard to live with. Hyuk-jae was very, very hard to live with. He could see Nagisa eyeing him from time to time, bewildered and uncomfortable. He tried numerous times to remove the blood from the carpet, but failed to have complete success. Some of the blood came out, but it was clear that they'd probably never have completely clean carpet again. He felt horribly guilty about it, despite Nagisa's attempts at reassurance.

It wasn't hard to see how much Nagisa cared about material things. Hyuk-jae had ruined his carpet, and probably his towels, too. He'd ruined his own shirt as well, but it was hard for him to care much about it. The white shirt was one of his old ones, anyway.

Madame made them take a few days off, for which Hyuk-jae was thankful. He slept for most of the first two, waking to cook and shower and spend a little time trying to clean the carpet — but he carried that heavy exhaustion for a day or two after a large seizure, and this time was no exception. The Firebender dropped in and out of random fits of crying. By the third day he wasn't as tired or as sad, but he felt a bit numb. The phone ringing on the third day didn't phase him, nor did Nagisa's request for pudding.

It was nice to feel useful. He'd spent the last three days wondering if he needed to start looking for somewhere else to live because he was such an inconvenience to his friend. Of course Nagisa wouldn't want him to continue living in his apartment after witnessing how much trouble he could cause.

After setting rice, milk, and a dash of salt to simmer, Hyuk-jae whisked together egg and brown sugar. It was a miracle he even remembered how to make rice pudding — he certainly couldn't eat it. It took twenty minutes of cooking the rice and then ten more after adding the egg and sugar. Removing it from heat, Hyuk-jae added cinnamon and put it into a bowl. Nagisa always liked to eat things he remembered eating as a child. It was remarkable, really. Hyuk-jae smiled wistfully at the smell of the pudding.

Carrying the bowl, he headed for the living room. "Okay," he said, "this is all there is, so don't ask for seconds — I didn't budget for spare rice for this all week!" Stopping in his tracks, he stared at the box. It was pretty large, wrapped with a bright bow, but he couldn't tell what it was from the rectangular shape.

Look what came for you!

For him? He hadn't bought anything. "Oh, no," he denied, "there must be some mistake. I didn't purchase anything — call the door boy back, it's not mine."

But Nagisa insisted it was his, going so far as to say he had purchased it himself. Hyuk-jae stared at him, uncomprehending. "It's not my birthday," he said.

A present? But — why? It boggled the mind. All Hyuk-jae had done in the last few days was upset Nagisa and make him angry. Why would he give him a gift? As the other host explained that he could receive a present without it being his birthday, Hyuk-jae took care not to point out that he never had. His parents had given him presents on his birthdays, of course, but usually they were small things — a book, maybe. A new shirt. Nothing fancy or big. No box like this.

It was clear as he pulled the bright ribbon from the box and opened it that Nagisa had purchased a guitar. Hyuk-jae's first instinct was to protest the cost of the instrument — it was far too much! Too expensive! How could Nagisa have spent this much money on him? It was bewildering and slightly upsetting. How could he ever repay this? But as he opened the case, anything he thought about saying died on his lips.

Running slender fingers over the wood of the guitar, Hyuk-jae stared at it. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. The wood was gleaming, satiny and beautiful, and was that his name on it? He plucked a string and a perfect, clean note sounded.

"Do... do you not like it?"

Hyuk-jae snapped his head up, eyes brimming with tears. "No!" he said quickly, "I — it's —" he scrubbed the back of his hand across his eyes. "It's the nicest thing anyone has ever given me," he said. "Ever." He lifted the guitar and held it, running his fingers over the strings. Why was Nagisa giving him this? Glancing back up at his friend, Hyuk-jae smiled softly. "Want me to play you something?"

It was a soft, simple acoustic song — nothing more than Hyuk-jae's voice and the guitar. One of his own compositions, the song was about wanting to get away from somewhere to experience a world outside. He let his dark hair fall into his face while playing, not really looking up at Nagisa. Only when the song was over did he look up, shy but smiling.

"Why did you buy me this?" Hyuk-jae asked, voice low.

Hyuk-jae's gaze fixed on a random spot when he was playing, anywhere but the listener, really. He tossed his hair out of his eyes, chewing his lower lip while waiting for Nagisa's answer. The fluffy-haired young man seemed… uncomfortable, maybe? He was shifting his weight on the sofa, causing wrinkles in his slacks. Nagisa hated wrinkles in his slacks.

Because he liked it? Orange eyes widened in surprise. Nagisa remembered his guitar playing in the shop? That was weeks ago! And it had only happened once! Hyuk-jae opened his mouth to say something, but Nagisa continued on, saying that he'd noticed a lack of an instrument among the Firebender's pathetic belongings. But more than that...

"I thought it would make you happy. And I like it when you're happy."
"Oh," said Hyuk-jae. Glancing down at the guitar, he smoothed a finger over his name. Perhaps it was just the leftover feelings from the seizure, the emotional upheaval — but he felt like crying. The concept of another person caring about how he actually felt was… weighty, and strange. It was something different altogether than just being a person who called himself Hyuk-jae's 'friend'.

Chewing his lower lip, he nodded, not trusting his voice. After playing a few more songs on the guitar — no more singing, of course — Hyuk-jae put it aside to make dinner for Nagisa. He went out of his way to make a spicy beef-and-noodles dish he knew Nagisa liked, with plain meat and vegetables for himself. They had work the next few nights coming up, which meant Hyuk-jae needed to get some sleep. The exhaustion, while much better after three days of rest, still lingered and he felt it pulling at his bones. After a shower he climbed into bed, leaving the guitar to lean against the wall just in his line of sight. It was the last thing he laid eyes on before falling asleep, the light warming its wooden belly.


His skin was so soft. He ran his hands over the smooth, pale length of Nagisa's thigh, pressing heated lips to his neck. The younger man leaned in, pressing their lips together, laughing a little as he shifted his weight on Hyuk-jae's lap. The Firebender hissed, letting his fingers dig in.

Nagisa's mouth was hot against his neck, moving towards his collarbone. Warm brown eyes travelled over his torso and Hyuk-jae flushed before Nagisa pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him back.
He went down easily, flat against the cool fabric of his sheets, and so did the other man — to the floor. His hands were cool on the Firebender's thighs, gentle but insistent, and followed by the feverish heat of his mouth. He arched up against him, winding fingers into his hair. He was anything but hesitant.

Nagisa gripped Hyuk-jae's hips, leaning in —


Jerking awake, Hyuk-jae immediately took a sharp, gasping breath. A familiar ache in his groin brought a hot blush to his face and he pulled away from Nagisa, carefully extricating himself from the younger man's embrace. "Oh my god," he whispered. He felt hot, too hot, and tried to take a cleansing breath.

Spirits. What was that? Hyuk-jae glanced at Nagisa, pressing a hand to his heated face. His friend would kill him if he knew what he'd just been dreaming about. It was — it was —
It had clearly been too long since Hyuk-jae had been physical with someone. That must be it.
Running long fingers through his hair, the Firebender got up and went into the bathroom. It was close to their normal waking time, anyway. His cold shower wouldn't be odd at all.

He made sure the water was as icy as possible.

Trying to avoid making any noise, Hyuk-jae took himself downstairs after the bracing shower, hair wet and trousers firmly on. He started by making coffee and hunting down the newspaper. He had to look at for-rent ads. There was no way he could continue to stay here — what if it happened again? Worse, what if — what if —
Shaking his head to clear his mind of such embarrassing thoughts, Hyuk-jae flipped to the ads section and furiously began to circle promising posts.

Hyuk-jae had taken his time in the shower, trying to cool his body off. Eventually he'd given in and taken care of the problem, but he still felt uneasy as he sat down to an egg and some fruit. Red ink made dark circles around ads in the paper, most of them in poorer parts of town. Hyuk-jae loved Nagisa's neighborhood, but he wasn't likely to rent a place in it. It was just too expensive, and he had to try and be realistic about his income. On his coming days off in the next week, he'd have to take a day to visit properties. There was no telling what his mind would get up to if he continued to stay with Nagisa, though he was certain none of it was appropriate.

"Whatcha got there?"

It was possible, though he figured unlikely, that Nagisa would be upset to see him looking at for-rent ads. But, on the other hand, wouldn't it be a relief to the younger man once he had his own space back? Hyuk-jae remembered how much Nagisa said he valued his own, private space. Staying there continually only deprived Nagisa of his beloved peace and quiet. He muttered something noncommittal, circling another cheap ad for a tenement place. It wasn't a place Nagisa was likely to approve of, but the price was right.

He should've known better than to think for a second that Nagisa would accept that as an answer. The younger man leaned over onto him, pressing his chest against Hyuk-jae's back as he tried to see what his arm concealed. Lacking a shirt, Hyuk-jae felt the warmth from the shorter man's skin quite keenly. Sucking in his breath, he held it for a moment without even realizing he'd done so. The sweet, fruity scent of his shampoo fell over the Firebender like a prayer, and he briefly closed his eyes as it washed over him.

Their bodies pressed together, heat rising, and he grated his nails down the tender skin of Nagisa's thighs —

Pulse pounding at his throat, Hyuk-jae hunched his shoulders instinctively, willing himself to forget about that morning's almost-wet dream. Oh, god. He leaned forward more, pulling away from Nagisa. "I'm just trying to give you your house back," he said, keeping his voice as light as possible. He let out a breath and gulped down the last of his coffee, standing quickly. He had to get away. Maybe — maybe he ought to just go out? Run an errand before work? If he went to the Host Club in this state it was sure to become obvious to everyone, and he couldn't have that. Hyuk-jae made toast for Nagisa and fried him an egg before making his excuses, heading back up to the bedroom.

Choosing the white shirt again, he pulled on a navy vest and charcoal grey trousers. Nagisa hated how plain his clothing was, but if pressed, Hyuk-jae had to admit he thought he looked quite nice. The grey trousers were his latest purchase, and they fit close. Tying his red bracelet firmly around his wrist, the Firebender fiddled with his bright silver earrings for a moment before making up his mind.

A present. It would certainly be a nice way to thank the fluffy-haired host for his hospitality, wouldn't it? And Nagisa seemed to need a bit more reading material. Grinning to himself, Hyuk-jae carefully counted out and pocketed yuans. Oh, he'd buy the young man a present all right…
Sweeping downstairs, Hyuk-jae ruffled Nagisa's hair.

"I'm going out," he said as casually as possible. "I'll see you at work, okay? Don't be late." He plucked a grape off Nagisa's plate and popped it into his mouth before turning to leave, quickly exiting the building. The bookshop he planned to visit wasn't close to the Host Club. He'd have to make sure he allowed himself enough time.

In the end, Hyuk-jae turned up at work not a minute early nor late, small package in hand.

School.

The theme for the night was school. Hyuk-jae hated theme nights anyway, finding them embarrassing and uncomfortable. So far he had no connection whatsoever to the themes chosen, and tonight was no exception. Hyuk-jae had never set foot in a school in his life. He hadn't been allowed to go to school, and the uniforms struck him as strange. He heard Nagisa's voice and followed the sound, tugging on his collar. Even with the upper button open, it felt stifling.

"Hey!"
"Hi," said Hyuk-jae. Nagisa hooked their arms together and a wave of relief washed over him. Nagisa wasn't mad about the rent ads! Perfect. Though, at the same time, his stomach twisted a little. That also meant Nagisa wouldn't be sorry to see him gone, didn't it? "Is this — is this what people wear to school?" He looked down at the uniform. Surely not, right?

Wasting no time, Nagisa dragged him to their usual area, where two men already waited. Hyuk-jae sized up their suits, noting the seemingly-casually chosen orange tie on the taller of the two.

"Hello, Shota, Eun-hyuk."

Nakamura and Yoshida. Of course. Nagisa threw himself down next to Nakamura, leaving Yoshida to run his eyes over Hyuk-jae. He touched his tie before smiling, and Hyuk-jae slid in next to him. "It's been a while," he murmured, keeping his voice soft. Yoshida had to lean in to hear, and he smiled. He was ignoring Nagisa entirely.
"You look like the perfect schoolboy," the man said.
Hyuk-jae laughed, running a hand over his hair. "Oh, no," he said. "But I love your tie." Smoothing long fingers over the fabric, he glanced up at the man. "Did you wear it for me?"
"It matches your eyes," Yoshida said.

Nakamura chatted with Nagisa, letting the fluffy-haired young man snuggle up to him as was his usual method. Hyuk-jae didn't mean to let his eyes cut over to them so often, but Yoshida noticed. The man laughed, hooking his fingers under Hyuk-jae's chin. "Jealous?" he asked.
"Well," said the Firebender, flushing a little. "Of course not —"
"It's only natural." Yoshida finally spared a glance for Hyuk-jae's partner. "You two must be very close."
"You have no idea." Hyuk-jae reached into his bag, grinning. "In fact, I'm so glad you're both here — I have a present for Shota." Setting a slim package onto the table, he slid it across to Nagisa. "Go on."

Amused, Yoshida draped an arm around Hyuk-jae's shoulders, pressing their hips together as Nagisa unwrapped the gift. It was a book. Not just any book, either — it was a romance novel by Omoi Tenoh. Yoshida laughed first, recognizing the name. Hyuk-jae's smile was almost evil.

On the cover of the novel, two very muscular and very shirtless men embraced. One was dark-haired with bronze skin, a strong jaw showing a very dark beard. In his arms a paler, lighter-haired man tossed his head back in ecstasy. Their hands were entwined on the pale man's chest, and the fronts of their trousers promised very steamy scenes between the pages. A Discreet Young Gentleman, the book was titled.

"I see that you're not," Yoshida said, glancing at Hyuk-jae.
He widened his orange eyes in feigned innocence. "Oh, but I am!" he promised. "I'm almost painfully discreet."
Yoshida's eyebrow arched close to his hairline. "How so?"
Hyuk-jae, his dream still on his mind, smiled coyly. "Want to find out?"
Nakamura looked scandalized.

He'd really thought that Nagisa would like the novel. It was a romance, and Hyuk-jae knew he liked romance. Given previous comments about relationships between men, he'd assumed that Nagisa wouldn't have a problem with a book about two men. Sure, the cover was… garish… but it was funny! He'd thought the younger man would see the humor in it. His smile faltered as it became glaringly obvious that not only did Nagisa not like it, but he was offended by it.

Maybe he'd reached too far out of his realm of experience, trying to buy a gift for someone else. Hyuk-jae hadn't ever really given anyone a present before. He'd participated in birthdays with his parents, but those were small affairs, on certain days. Even then he'd often just hand-made a card for his father or mother, because they hadn't been able to afford anything else. Hyuk-jae bit his lower lip. "I'm sorry," he said, falling entirely out of character for a moment. "I — I really thought you'd like it."

Yoshida's voice snapped him back to the reality of where they were: at work.
"Looks like Shouta didn't like your gift, Eunhyuk! What's the matter — trouble in paradise? A lover's quarrel?"

He tried to shrug it off. "Oh, no — I'm just not a very good gift giver, I guess," he said, forcing his mouth into a tight smile of its own.
"I'm sure I'd appreciate many of your gifts," Yoshida said.
Nakamura urged him to tone it down and Hyuk-jae shifted his weight uncomfortably, holding very still as the man leaned in to whisper something about that evening and his apartment. The food cart's arrival saved him from having to make a public reply, but offered a new set of challenges.

While Nagisa had finally — sort of — figured out what Hyuk-jae could and couldn't have, the same did not hold true of their customers. Yoshida immediately latched onto an onigiri, determined that Hyuk-jae should eat it.
"No, I —"
"You never eat. You're too skinny!"
"I'm not!" The Firebender tried to control his temper, but being pressured in that manner always got to him quickly. A muscle jerked in his jaw as Yoshida went for him again, but Nagisa plucked the ball of rice away suddenly, solving the problem by eating it himself.

"Hey — He doesn't want any."

Relieved, Hyuk-jae glanced at the clock and drank some water. The two businessmen's appointed time was almost over, and he didn't think he had ever been so glad. As he was leaving, Yoshida ran his fingers through Hyuk-jae's hair, leaning close to him again.
"Call me," he said. "I'll make it worth your while. I can tell you're worth the price." He pressed his card into Hyuk-jae's hand again before following Nakamura out.

Glancing at Nagisa, Hyuk-jae didn't say anything. He leaned his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his hand, mouth to palm. He hated that he didn't know how to please him, couldn't even pick a regular, normal present to say thank you for being nice. He hated that his dream kept nagging at him, that even from where he sat the scent of Nagisa's shampoo fluttered around him like butterflies.

Nagisa looked away from him as Yoshida pulled away. Hyuk-jae chewed his lower lip, trying to ignore the hollow feeling in his stomach. His skin prickled with distaste for a moment before he banished the feeling and smiled brightly at the exiting businessmen. Tugging at his collar, he sighed, coughing a little. "These jackets. Are they really this tight? Did you wear this to school?"

Had Nagisa even gone to school?

Nakamura's a lot nicer, but Yoshida seems to like you.

"Yeah." Sighing, the older man toyed with his water glass. "He's just… he's that type of guy, you know? The kind I used to see all the time." He simply knew what they wanted to hear. It was easy to flirt with them because all they needed was overtly sexual behavior. It was boring. However, it would also probably pay his bills — and Nagisa's, until he found somewhere else to live. At that moment, Hyuk-jae felt like his friend probably couldn't wait for him to leave. "Nakamura seems like a nice guy." He was glad to keep their conversation light, but Nagisa leaned in towards him, bringing up the ill-chosen gift.

Like... are you teasing me or something? Because of my comics?

"What?" Hyuk-jae's orange eyes snapped immediately to Nagisa's face. "No! Of course not! I — it's a romance novel! You like romance… don't you?" He reached out, flipping the novel over so that the cover faced down. "I'll get rid of it." His voice came out unexpectedly bitter and flat. "I — I should've gotten you one of the regular ones." The ones with men and women. "I'm sorry. I was — I thought you'd like it. I wasn't trying to offend you."

Hyuk-jae looked down at his hands, unfolding them and staring at the palms. "I should've gotten you one more like your comics. You know. With... girls." It would have made more sense. Maybe he'd just let his dream run away with him, thinking that Nagisa was interested in men the way Hyuk-jae was interested in them. "I'm really sorry." Picking up the water glass, Hyuk-jae took a drink. His throat was dry. As he set the glass down he sneezed.

As bad luck went, tonight was pretty full-up. Their next clients were Nima and her friend, a quiet woman who required full-on heavy flirting from Hyuk-jae in order to keep her interest and spend her money. The slender man was beginning to feel exhausted, and questioned coming back to work so soon after a big fit. Somehow, hosting was so much harder than hawking papers or lying back and thinking of the Republic.

Hyuk-jae was as nice as he could be to Soon Hee. She was a quiet person by nature, which made his job harder. Hyuk-jae did better with people who responded to him in ways he expected — namely men, of course. He and Soon Hee, however, both got to enjoy watching Nima make Nagisa extremely uncomfortable.

The smile he put on his face as he received clothes that even Hyuk-jae could tell were ugly said it all. It was the same smile he'd given the book. As the woman arrived, Hyuk-jae had hastily shoved it into his bag under the table. He glanced at Soon Hee, who was trying to hide a smile. At least the antics of the other two were making up for Hyuk-jae's failing to keep her involved. The two of them shared cups of tea and talked quietly about Soon Hee's job. She was an office lady, but apparently worked a publishing house. Hyuk-jae found this legitimately interesting and was actually sorry to see her go.

He followed Nagisa to the break room, immediately loosening the jacket. The jacket came off as soon as the door shut behind them, flung onto the nearest chair. Hyuk-jae ran his hands through his hair before quickly opening 'his' bag, taking the book out. He meant to stick it in his locker so that Nagisa didn't have to look at it. A glance at the younger boy forced him to laugh, despite his dark mood.

"That Nima is …. really something, isn't she?" he asked, opening his locker with the book tucked under his arm. "You don't seem very pleased with her present." Or mine.
The door of the locker creaked open. "You may want to practice smiling when you're mad, though," the Firebender continued. "I don't think Nima realized it, but Soon Hee could tell."

Nagisa walked into the place and immediately made a mess, tossing his clothing onto the floor. Hyuk-jae went around behind him, picking things up and folding them, setting them aside. It was just natural with him, he didn't really think about what he was doing. His own vest came off as well, folded neatly with everything else. His stomach growled, reminding him he'd forgotten to pack a lunch.

He'd been so busy going to purchase a gift for Nagisa that he hadn't even made his bento. Hyuk-jae sighed, heading for the kitchen. Missing dinner for nothing grated on his nerves. Those nerves could be soothed with food, of course. He had vegetables for a quick stir fry in the house, and such a simple dish would have to do. Hyuk-jae found himself wishing that he slept in the spare room as he picked through the cupboards, taking out cooking oil and onions.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted at the club over this okay?"

The racy image of two men in each other's arms came into his vision as Nagisa waved the offending novel at him. Wishing he'd thought to leave it in his locker or at the least put it where Nagisa wouldn't find it, the taller man sighed. His chopping took on a bit more force.

"You hate it," Hyuk-jae said, keeping his eyes on the vegetables and knife in his hands. "Don't deny it, I saw your face. You made the same face at the clothes Nima gave you. It's okay." He dumped chopped vegetables into a pot and took an onion next, slicing it carefully. "I'm… not very experienced at giving gifts. I thought you'd like it. I assumed —" He assumed things he had no business assuming, likely due to residual excitement left over from his very inappropriate dream. Hyuk-jae hadn't mentioned the dream to Nagisa (nor would he ever), but somehow still felt ashamed as his friend stood there, waving the romance novel in his face.

"It's... it's got nothing to do with girls though."

"All your comic books are boys and girls," the Firebender pointed out. He shrugged, putting the onion in with the vegetables and oil and stirring. As they mixed together, the ingredients began to smell delightful, and he added gochujang quickly, turning the whole mess red with spice. "I guess I just remembered you saying something that made me think you might, you know." He waved a hand, as he tried to explain. "Like guys." He hoped Nagisa wasn't going to yell at him for that. "I'll — I'll read it, don't worry about it," Hyuk-jae added quickly, "So it won't go to waste or anything. I… I like things like that." His pale skin pinked with an uncharacteristic flush.

The vegetable dish was soon finish, stir-fried quickly. Hyuk-jae put two servings into bowls and handed one to Nagisa. "Here."