Jin Ho was, to put it mildly, exhausted. He'd been working overtime since the Arena incident, fearful for his family and the people he loved. He'd taken overnight shifts on the streets, determined not to let anything happen to his people. As a consequence he hadn't seen his boyfriend in days and he had lovely dark circles going under his eyes. His braid was a bit of a mess and he had forgotten to eat at least twice that week, resulting in some dizziness around midnight. The anxiety was in full force, naturally — he'd stopped being able to pretend he was all right with anything but foot patrol. Luckily, his superiors for now were thankful to have him volunteering to be on the streets, so no one asked questions. That detective worried him, though... out of that sense of worry, Jin Ho worked harder than usual and found himself entirely unable to sleep at night.

Of course Mizu was busy with the restaurant. Of course. He didn't want to get in the man's way, and he knew that the Waterbender had no idea how to respond to his nightmares. It was embarrassing that he had them at all. So the police officer attempted sleep by himself in his apartment and found the effort even more exhausting. Jin Ho was constantly worried about pleasing Mizu, convinced that no matter what he did, he was probably doing it wrong. The other man was so... moody, so often. The policeman often felt as if he upset Mizu most of the time. He'd taken to trying not to sleep around him at all because it seemed like it might upset him less if Jin Ho was more... normal. But he couldn't sleep, and so he was just worn out, cobbling together the few minutes he could here and there.

Out of desperation he'd called Hoshi, needing to see her. He'd come to the realization that he simply could not possibly live without her, whatever that meant. She understood him in ways that no one else did, and he wasn't sure anyone really... could. She was on his mind equally as often as his boyfriend. He just needed to see her.

As soon as he stepped through Hoshi's door he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and breathing in her smell. It was comforting, warm, familiar — all things he desperately needed. Jin Ho smelled like coffee, which he hated, and metal lubricant and hot black pepper. He was aware that he looked awful, still in uniform, and chose to bury his face in his oldest friend's hair for a moment, seeking... something. His grip on her was quite tight and he took a deep, almost shaking breath.

I've got tea waiting

Ah, right. Of course she had tea. Hopefully one of her herbal ones to calm his nerves. He really needed a hot shower, a decent meal, and about fifteen hours of deep sleep. But tea would have to do. He pulled away from her finally and sighed. "Tea sounds great," he said.

As ordered, Jin Ho sat. When she offered a tea cup, he took it and wrapped long fingers around it, savoring the warmth. It smelled like an herbal relaxation blend, the type she always had on hand for his too-sensitive nerves. He could always trust her to know exactly what he needed. Relieved, the police officer settled into the sofa, letting himself relax for the first time in what felt like weeks.

"You look so exhausted. Are you taking care of yourself?"

Leave it to Hoshi to state the obvious. Jin Ho chuckled humourlessly and looked down into his tea. "Yeah," he said. "I'm —" but he found that as usual, it was impossible to lie to her. He focused on drinking the tea instead, closing his eyes for a moment. He felt almost dizzy with exhaustion, the way he'd been feeling for the past few days. He lifted the cup to his face, pressing his cheek against the porcelain to feel its warmth. He was trying to take care of himself. It's just that it wasn't working very well.

She leaned forward and he leaned back, not feeling ready to meet her eyes yet. "I'm... mostly okay?" he replied. "I've just been worried lately. About Mizu. About you. My parents. The city. Amon." The list went on and on. The Equalists showing their strength had terrified everyone, and they'd abducted many of his fellow metalbenders. To make matters worse, his beloved Chief Bei Fong, in whom Jin Ho had always had an unshakeable faith, had been replaced by a man he barely even knew, let alone trusted. Park Jin Ho truly felt like his world was falling apart and there was nothing he could do about it. Pressing a hand to his face, he sighed.

"I haven't been sleeping," he confessed. "And I'm the worst boyfriend ever and a cowardly policeman, and now I've come here and I'm worrying you too." This wasn't right. He didn't want to upset her. He should've just gone home and taken a shower for a while...

Green eyes widened as Hoshi shoved a pile of his old clothes into his arms. Jin Ho had almost forgotten for a moment that he left a set of clothing at her house all the time — it had come in handy more than once before. They were just old things really; a faded, wooly jumper with patches on the elbows, a pair of red socks, and a pair of nondescript grey trousers. Jin Ho wasn't terribly fashion-forward and never had been. Hoshi ordered him to take a shower with a no-nonsense tone to her voice. Meekly, Jin Ho took the clothes and set down the cup of tea.

"No," he said, "I haven't eaten." He felt bad to just desert her and take a shower, but the hot water was too inviting. He needed to wash his hair, too, and he knew she wouldn't mind his using her shampoo. That was a true friend!

The policeman stood under the hot water for a long time, eyes closed and hair loose. He let himself finally relax a little, shoulders slumping. The smell of her soap, plain and clean, was just as comforting as the water itself. Her shampoo had the tang of lavender to it, a relaxing scent. He felt like he could almost fall asleep in the shower! Unfortunately, his exhaustion crept up and the young man felt a bit dizzy as he began to rinse his hair. He'd do better to go ahead and get out.

As soon as he got out of the shower, Jin Ho put a hand to the wall to steady himself. No doubt about it, he needed to eat and sleep, in that order — and soon. He dried quickly, the aroma of food already filtering into his awareness. His stomach growled loudly as he pulled the sweater over his head. It was a deep olive-y green, made by his mother. The young man put the socks on chilled feet and slipped out in the hall again, still wringing water out of his hair into a towel.

The sight of rice and kimchi made his mouth water. He sat instantly, staring longingly at the food. Of course, he'd wait for her permission to eat. As soon as she gave it, he dug into the meal with gusto, entirely silent due to hunger. Only after he'd gotten about half of it down did he pause to drink more tea and speak. "Ah — thank you," he said. The dark circles were still prominent under his eyes, but he obviously already felt much better.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," Jin Ho said fervently, giving Hoshi a warm, loving look. He wished, not for the first time, that they lived together. Life seemed much easier and less anxiety-provoking at Hoshi's house. There was something about her presence that was just... grounding. Right. He smiled and looked away, mindful of his thoughts. Pretty heavy stuff to say to a person one wasn't sexually attracted to, wasn't it? He had no idea how she'd take that. Or what Mizu would say if he told him he wanted to love them both. Was that even possible?

It felt so crazy. Jin Ho was genuinely concerned about himself half the time. He was abnormal. Something had to be wrong with him, right? How could he want more than one person equally as much, but in entirely different ways? And who would ever put up with such a relationship?

Thick black hair, heavy with damp, sat over his shoulder and pooled down in his lap. He was thankful for his thick jumper and socks, and for Hoshi and her warm, homey flat.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Oh Hoshi, you worry too much." Jin Ho smiled at her again and looked back down at his food, by now almost gone. His stomach full, he focused on sipping his tea. Of course, Hoshi was perceptive. She knew him too well to let his mood go unnoticed, and she wasn't the type to let it go without a comment, either.

"Did something happen at work? .... Are you and Mizu doing okay?"

Jin Ho's head snapped up. "I — we —" Well, they were okay. They were better than okay if they were talking about the bedroom... really, the way that man could — Jin Ho shook his head. No time for that now. "We're fine," he said. "Mizu and I, I mean. We're fine. It's just..." he sighed. How could he say this to her? "I'm happy with Mizu," Jin Ho said, with some difficulty, "but there's... something else. Something I'd like to talk to you about." He held his cup tensely.

This can't go that bad. Hoshi is understanding. If you can't talk to her, you can't talk to go anyone. Jin Ho took a deep breath. "I, um. I'm happy, with Mizu. But — recently, I... I've been thinking. About you. And... and..." he glanced up at her, green eyes serious and dark. "Do you think it's possible to be in love with more than one person?"

Maybe not impossible. That wasn't a very encouraging answer.

She didn't get it. Jin Ho laughed a little to dismiss his disappointment and looked back down into his bowl of food. How could he explain himself when even Hoshi, who always seemed to understand him, wasn't hearing the message? He swallowed quickly and moved some of his food about in the bowl.

"Maybe some people can have more love to give."

"Yeah," he murmured softly, not looking back up. Maybe that was it. He was ridiculous — of course it wasn't all right for a person to be in love with two people at once. He shouldn't have even bothered asking. The policeman knew what he ought to do: pretend everything was fine, dismiss his oddness as exhaustion, and beg to sleep it off. She'd let him, he knew that much. And he also knew he did look a little worse for the wear. Say something to make it less awkward, he admonished himself. Anything would do, really.

He gave a nervous laugh and then drank some tea. "Sorry," Jin Ho said, after another moment passed. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Forget I said anything, it was — it was stupid." He smiled a little. "I'm just a bit overworked, that's all." He'd be better after some sleep. Rubbing the back of his neck, he sighed. Hopefully Hoshi would just forget it. She'd probably think he was going a bit mad if he said anything else, and he didn't want to worry her.

Jin Ho sighed a little, pushing his own food around.

"Why don't you go lie down in the bed, I'll clean up here."

Looking up, Jin Ho raised an eyebrow. He was making her that uncomfortable? He didn't want to go lay down by himself. That was more than half the problem. He needed her. Why would she offer for him to go to sleep? It never worked out that easily. Instead, the young man sat himself on her sofa and slowly worked on combing through his hair, remaining silent. He waited for Hoshi to come and sit next to him, smelling like soap and lavender, before flopping down and placing his head in her lap, face pressed up against her belly. Letting out a long breath, Jin Ho closed his eyes.

He could stay that way, right? Just for a little while? He could pretend that she hadn't answered incorrectly, that she understood him. He could pretend everything was okay. He could try to ignore Amon and the new police chief and the ever-changing world outside. Eventually, lulled by the scent of her and the sound of her breathing, Jin Ho fell asleep, hands clutched in Hoshi's dress.

The policeman slept deeply for the first time in a week.

——————————

It only took a few days for the inevitable to take place: Mizu broke up with him. Citing the fact that they never saw each other and Jin Ho's devotion to his work, Mizu suggested they not see each other any more and, exhausted, Jin Ho agreed. He numbly collected the few things he'd kept in the Waterbender's flat and took them home to his own, leaving Mizu's things in a box in the back of the restaurant for him to find later. He wasn't sure how he was feeling about all of it. Instead of thinking about it, the young man decided to throw himself into work.

He patrolled with a new vigor that evening, determined not to think about his life in general and how very disappointed he was with it. The regular citizens who saw him along his route seemed to sense that he was upset, and everyone gave him a wide berth. Jin Ho pulled several extra hours before going home to his empty apartment, curling up around a pillow and hoping for sleep. It didn't come. Finally, at two in the morning, he gave up and went to his phone, calling for Hoshi with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

She hadn't liked Mizu to begin with, so Spirits only knew what she would say when he told her they'd broken up. Obviously it was his fault — he had been too busy for the other man, and possibly not good enough at pleasing him — but he didn't need to hear it from her. Maybe she'd let him just come over and sleep. He waited until she finally picked up, sounding quite sleepy and cross.

"Hey Hoshi," he said, trying to keep his voice light. "It — It's me, Jin Ho. Do you mind if I come over?"

The metalbending police officer knew he looked like hell lately — he had a face full of shadow and he needed to eat more — but Hoshi's shocked face somehow made him feel worse about it all. He needed a trip to a hot springs or something, truly. A day full of relaxation and food and sleep, that's what he needed. Not that he'd be seeing anything of the like any time soon! Not a chance.

Is it the nightmares she asked, and he had to laugh a little. Oh, sure. The nightmares. They were always there. Shouldn't he be used to those by now? One would think he'd at least dream about the Equalists these days, but no. It was the wreck. It was always, always the wreck. Amon didn't even seem terrifying in the face of a Satomobile to Park Jin Ho.

"Sure," said Jin Ho, "there's that. And, you know, the very overwhelming threat to the city, my boyfriend breaking up with me, and extra shifts at work. There's all that, too." He let her lead him into the apartment and sit him down at the table. The tea was hot in the cup in his hands, warming the muscles. He held on to it with both hands, breathing in the smell of it. "I haven't been sleeping," he said in a voice meant to be light. "As I'm sure you can tell."

He paused. "You look pretty," he said. "Did you put on eyeliner because I was coming over?" Normally he wouldn't have noticed, but he had been thinking quite a lot about Hoshi lately... Hoshi and their strange relationship. Now that Mizu was entirely out of the picture, Jin Ho had to ask himself if he shouldn't just suggest that they get married. It would make both their parents extremely happy. It had been the plan ever since they were born! But, he'd thought of that scenario before... and how could he doom Hoshi to a sexless marriage? While Jin Ho knew he'd be able to procreate with her due to his desire for children, he also knew that due to his sexual orientation, he wasn't going to want to be physical once those children were achieved. Who in their right mind would agree to something like that? Who would marry a man that needed to step outside of their marriage to fulfill his physical needs?

The policeman sighed and sipped from his tea. "Mizu said I'm too devoted to work," he told Hoshi, knowing that she was wondering, "and that we never see each other so we might as well not be dating anyway. But I'm sure it's more like I wasn't..." how to be tactful? "... pleasing enough, maybe. I don't know." It was true that Jin Ho had no idea what he was doing when it came to the other man. He had no experience! But he'd thought that things would go, well, better. Given Mizu's history with having multiple partners and everything, though, he should have known the man wasn't interested in a long-haul relationship. Too bad that Jin Ho was a very long-haul guy.

Clearing his throat, he tried to relax his muscles. "How's the shop?"

"I will speak no more ill of him," she said softly, "or of him at all, unless you want me to."

"Good," said Jin Ho, swiftly, not keen to hear her speak ill of Mizu despite the fact that their relationship was over. To be honest, he wasn't even all that sad about it. It felt like it was just something that had happened to him and it was over and that was all. He had liked Mizu a lot, but it was clear they weren't meant to be together. Jin Ho needed to be with someone he could settle down with, have a family with... someone to make a home with.

"I teach Sohee some bending forms, sometimes. She is not a bender, but she is eager to learn nonetheless. They're just forms, so we do it here in the flat."

That seemed odd. Why would a non-Bender be interested in forms? Jin Ho wasn't sure he understood, but if Hoshi was enjoying teaching then he saw at least one benefit from it. He was glad that Hoshi had hired a helper. He personally felt that Mrs. Jeon, despite her spry and active ways, deserved a bit of a break — and Hoshi deserved to have some help, as well. The Lotus Cafe wouldn't run itself and it was a lovely place, but they'd needed to hire a worker for a while. It was a welcome change.

When Hoshi mentioned that she'd brought the phonograph out again, Jin Ho smiled. "Really? That's great!" He had missed the warm sounds of music floating around the cafe. It was good timing, too, to try and put something happy or soothing into the atmosphere. Jin Ho knew that times were tense for everyone.

"I had a customer come in, recently, a young healer named Shtiya. He's smaller than me!"

As Hoshi told him about meeting a young man who was just her size, an ugly emotion uncurled in Jin Ho's belly. What was this feeling? She laughed and smiled when talking about the young man, and he could tell she'd had a nice time with him. She deserved a nice time. Hoshi deserved the best things in life. "Is that so?"

"I never thought I'd see a man I could look straight in the eye without tilting my head up."

Jealousy. That's definitely what it was. Jin Ho smiled. "Oh?" he asked lightly, trying not to sound like he cared too much. He did, however, care quite a bit. "What's his name?"

Jin Ho gritted his teeth as she said the man was 'such a dear'. And a Waterbender, too? His mind briefly wondered if this... Shtiya... was as good-looking as Mizu, but he immediately refocused as Hoshi continued to talk about him. She'd obviously spent the whole afternoon with the man! Under what circumstances?

"Did you know he's on his own? He came to the City from the North Pole so he could practice medicine. Isn't that admirable?"

"Sure," said Jin Ho, "that's great. He sounds like an amazing person." The policeman frowned. Hoshi was certainly quite taken with this young man, wasn't she? He could scarcely believe how possessive he felt about her at that moment. Who was this guy? Did he have cause to worry? She continued on, suggesting that he meet the man and telling him that he was probably in his early twenties. Well, that wasn't that young. They were both in their twenties, after all! Why did she want him to meet him?

Jin Ho set his cup down, rubbing at his face. He was so, so tired. All he wanted to do was curl up in Hoshi's bed with his arms around her and go to sleep. Somehow at her house it was easier to achieve that beloved deep and dreamless sleep that eluded him so often. She was a panacea for his emotions, a perfect antidote to the nightmares most of the time, much as Sweeper had been.

He didn't want to talk about her new friend any more. "Hoshi," he said, closing his eyes. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" Jin Ho leaned over the table, head in his hands. "I'm sorry, I just feel like I haven't slept in months," he confessed. "I've even been drinking coffee at work lately. It's just so... stressful, and everything's off kilter since Bei Fong..." well, she knew. Rubbing his face again, the young man sighed. He needed to shave and take a shower and wash his blasted hair. But all he wanted to do was hold her and go to sleep. It wasn't fair to ask to take up her bed, but he couldn't help himself. He just... needed to. "... Please?"