No, but you do have to repost it. Also, from now, please refrain from extraneous posting and PM one of us next time. Thanks.

Edit: I deleted your post following this for two reasons: Firstly, I told you not to post extraneous posts. Second, we have an OOC minimum of 5 words. Please do not do that again. Thank you.

Display Name: Raiku
Real Age: 17
Gender: Female

Bishop walked slowly, determinedly away from the small government-run police office, and away from the interrogation she had just been through. Flipping her long, dark hair out of her face, she stumbled over the only rock present in her barren surroundings and crumpled to the ground, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes. As she grasped her legs and pulled them closer to her heart, she attempted to block out any and all thoughts about the decision she would have to make, but realized that thinking was inevitable. Exasperated, a sigh escaped her small lips.

What she was being asked to do was inhuman, and she knew it. However, it could very well be her only route to survival. But even so, how could she help the government eradicate all those in opposition to them – including, and mainly consisting of, her own kind? Could she really help her enemies eliminate all those with psychic abilities, and therefore significantly decrease the threat of a revolt? They were, truly, the only ones who posed a serious threat to the regime, as they could – she could, she reminded herself firmly – sense the coming destruction and warn everyone else about it. Not only that, but with their power, they could easily avoid capture, by avoiding all locations the enemy would think to look for them.

Still, couldn’t the government’s army – consisting of forceful humans capable of flight, teleportation, mind-reading, and a host of other powerful abilities – rid society of the psychics without her help? The youth closed her eyes firmly as a vision of the world violently shook her troubled body. She gasped audibly at the horrors she envisioned – horrors that she knew could only be brought about should she decide to help the government’s cause. Still, a glimmer of hope was present, due to the fact that she was there to witness it. In this future, however desperate the situation might seem to her now, she was still alive.

What would she find if she looked into a future where she decided not to help the authorities? Perhaps there would still be a fighting chance for the world then; but would there be a chance for her? Sure, she’d always said that she would fight for her beliefs to the death, if necessary, but when it really came down to it, with her life on the line, she simply wasn’t sure she could do it. The psychic played absentmindedly in the desert sand as she wearily considered her options. Surely she could run, right? If they needed her help to find the others, they would need help to find her as well. But could she really live the entirety of her life on the run, without a real home, without real hope? She had to admit, that option did not look promising.

Even so, Bishop could not grasp the fact that she could be risking her life if she didn’t align with her enemies; she could not grasp that her existence, her entire being, could simply end. The youth had never really believed her life to be in any danger, no matter how the odds were stacked against her. But this time she knew in advance that she was seriously gambling her life on this – it was a very difficult concept for her young mind to comprehend. But she knew that if she gave in, the fate of the world was at stake. She had to do the right thing; she could not be that selfish.

And even as a new vision rocked her small body, the psychic knew it could not change her mind, even though what she saw confirmed her worst nightmares. Visions of her own death raced before her eyes, and she groaned in pain at the very thought. But the girl had made up her mind.

She knew what she had to do.

Raiku - Your post is well written, except for a lot of use of "she", "her" in the post. Try using variations like "the Earthbender" or "the brunette" or "the green-eyed young woman" or something like that. Other than that, the post is good and ACCEPTED.

Display name: Daichi
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Presentation: First scene, of my groups first D&D 4e campaign, through the eyes of my character Jack Nickodemis the elf monk.

Jack awoke early that mourning, as he always did, to prepare for the day. He glanced about the inn room where he, and his partners had decided to stay. A mere in the corner showed how the sun played of his bright blue eyes as he examined it. A large oak dresser opposite the mere in the other corner. Finally there were the two beds on either side of the room, one for the traveling rune priest Bao, and another for Jerry, the mercenary he'd hired to help Jack guard him on his spiritual journey. Being an elf, Jack needed little sleep, and thus, he gave up the comfortable bed to the low life merc.

Jack quietly dressed himself. He pulled a black shirt over his well toned torso, shaking his curly black hair back into place once his head was free of the collar. He pulled on his brown pants, baggy for the easy movement he required if combat arose. Lastly he slipped on a red jacket, the symbol of his organization, the crimson guardians, protectors of the important members of the religious comunitty.

Since the other two would take a while to wake up, Jack took the opportunity to go for a walk around town. Not that he particularly enjoyed the city. It was dirty, smelly, and overcrowded. Nothing like the wild lands he'd been raised in as a child. Nor was it like the quiet mountain monastery in which he'd trained for his current job.

However, he did enjoy knowing the areas in which he'd have to carry out missions. So on he walked until he saw the thing he hated most about the city. Crime. He looked over into an ally way to see a woman being mugged. Clenching his fist Jack rushed in to help the woman, and to put his talents to use.

Daichi - To be honest, I felt there was no purpose to your post. I liked that you didn't stick the Avatar world and that you described what he looked like - something that's usually missing. There was, however, no depth. It was okay, it wasn't bad, just... a little bland, for lack of a better term. In the future, try and dig deep into your character's mind. What is feeling? Thinking? Describe his emotions and the reason for them. Also, watch out for the overuse of "he" and "his". Try using a variety, like "the Firebender" or "the dark-haired man" or "the amber-eyed man" or "the young man" or something. As long as you keep this in mind and work to improve, your post is ACCEPTED.

Display Name: Ayumi
Real Age: 20
Gender: Female

And so dusk passed and night fell in its fullest. The sands surrounding the canyon that encompassed the conquered Earth capital were harsh but cool in the night air. And so sat a small girl in her new teens. She wore ragged clothes and short, unevenly cut raven hair upon her head tied into even shorter pigtail on each side. She sat there in silence, save for the weak breeze and the tiny creatures that lived on the outskirts. Though she was hardly welcome within the great walls, she had chosen this spot and this night. It was a lovely night to her, a full moon gracing the star-clad sky of midnight blue and not a person in view to witness her treachery. For it was a sin and a crime to be one such as her.

But now a brown package emerged from behind the child's back. It was made of paper and soon the paper was on the ground, to be blown down into the ravine close-by. Within it seemed nothing but a stale, probably day or two old, loaf of bread. Yet, the girl's emerald eyes watered and her mouth did likewise at the mere sight of it. She broke it in two and allowed the smell of the inner grain waft to her nose. She slowly took a bite of it. It was true that it was dry and stale beyond comparision, but she was a child that never knew where her next meal would come. More importantly, where it could come. Truth was that her last meal was the day before last. To fully realize the truth of comparision to her and this meal it would have to be with a rich family surrounded by their friends and a splendid Christmas feast. That is how she felt about every meal and savored the experience.

The first half of the loaf was finished, slowly, each bite requiring a designated time to savor it. With that finished, she decided to keep the other half, equal in size, for later tomorrow. The girl with raven hair wrapped it in a small cloth bag that went perfectly with her clothing. She stood up and turned around, looking intently in the distance and listening with the same fervent passion. The last sound of life within the city was fading away and would soon be smothered by the pure silence of the night.

She gave a small smile, the brightest thing in the darkness and then turned back towards the mountainous and rocky landscape. The young girl was surrounded on all sides by earth. And that was her sin. She was an earth bender. And she had to hide it until this ungodly time to do so. The bender forced her body upwards as she gazed out upon the grass and, in small patches, snow covered landscape and she thrusted her arms outwards with all her concentration bent her actions. She moved her body in slight, yet perfect rhythm. The ground gave a slight tremor and small stones around her began to rise up from the earth and levitate within the air. And so she would begin the rare and age-old tradition in her own mediocre way.

Ayumi - Okay, for the most part, your post was good. I noticed some grammar errors that I have to point out:

And so sat a small girl in her new teens. <—- I'm sorry, this is confusing. New teens? Do you mean early teens?

She broke it in two and allowed the smell of the inner grain waft to her nose. <—- should be to waft.

It was true that it was dry and stale beyond comparison, but she was a child that never knew where her next meal would come. More importantly, where it could come. Truth was that her last meal was the day before last. <—- these sentences should either end in from or say from which it would come or something like that.

Also, you do not explain why bending is forbidden to her, nor what she looks like. You can't count on people to read your profile for this information. Also, no Jesus, no Christmas. Work on these things in mind, and your post is ACCEPTED.

Display Name:Shabao
Real Age: 18
Gender: Male

Shabao stood in his stance, silent and a bit weary. He was at the edge of one of the only oases in the entire Si Wong desert, one that dangerous animals, and even more dangerous brigands were known to stop at regularly. He was instructed by Sifu Qin earlier that day to stay in that very spot, not to move one foot outside of a five-foot circle he made around the boy. The beasts and men weren't a problem. Almost as soon as his old master had left, he was attacked by buzzard-wasps. He had dispatched them with ease, as they were only two. Brigands came next, and they were a bit tougher. There were more of them, and they attempted to take him out of the circle, but were unsuccessful and few as well.

Now fatigued from the fighting, Sha was about to collapse when he saw what horrified him the most on the horizon. It was a brown cloud, growing bigger by the second. Sha knew what it was, and was deeply troubled by it: A sandstorm. He wrapped his head wrap around his head, and using earthbending sunk his feet into the ground, rooting them there. The minutes wore on, the storm grew larger on the horizon, until it occupied a the whole western view of the sky. As the first particles of sand started hitting Sha, he knew it was time. Using every last bit of energy he could muster, he began performing the motions of his sandbending techniques. With circular motions and a strong footing, he quickly created a ball of sand. Concentrating on the ball around him, he attempted to force the barrier into stone, a technique he was being taught for the past few sessions, but hadn't truly grasped yet. After many painstaking minutes of concentrating and attempting the motions...the ball was still sand.

Frustrated and fatigued from his previous endeavors, he faltered. The sand ball collapsed into itself, and buried the boy in a mound of the stuff. “Aw man,” He said to himself as he pulled his bulky body out of the mound, and brushing himself off “I've got sand in places that it shouldn't be...” After shaking the sand out of his trousers, and getting as much of it out of his ears and nose as he could, he resumed his stance, trying his best to be in the same place the circle was before the storm had passed over him. He sighed as he turned to look at the oasis. It was muddied most of the water had been displaced by sand. “There goes one of the best things about this stupid desert!” He kicked a rock into the pool, only to murk up the waters again. He sat down and crossed his legs, trying to calm himself. He felt angry at Sifu for giving him this task, angry at himself for not correctly performing the technique right, he was angry at his father for being useless, and his mother for abandoning him.

As he finished his exercises, tears started rolling down his cheeks as he curled up for sleep, exhausted from his work. “I just wanna go...” he whispered to himself “Go as far away from this crummy place as possible” He slipped off into sleep as he whispered these words, and hoped that nothing except his Sifu would find him out here...

Shabao - All in all, your post is not bad. However, I will say that it was a bit lax on description. We need to know what he 's thinking and feeling, in more depth than what you have now. We also need to know what he looks like, and there's none of that here. Also, be careful of overuse of "he" and "him. Use something different to describe him, like "the Sandbender" or "the brunet" or "the brown-eyed man" or something like that. As long as you work on this, your post is ACCEPTED.

Okays, sorry it took so long getting this up. ^^

Display Name: Trakada
Real Age: 20
Gender: Male

Trakada was never more at peace then when he could feel the light of the full moon across his face. The brown-haired Waterbender would find himself distracted by anticipation before the first night of the phase, sometimes even unable to preform his other duties as he awaited the sun to set. When it finally did, he would always find his way up to the same quiet chamber at the top of a mostly unused ice structure near the outer wall.

The room could not have been any bigger than maybe four meters across in any direction, and it was very plain- simply bare walls and a single large-ish window looking out onto the ocean. The floor was lightly textured with snow to provide traction. And yet, emotionally, it was the most extravagant place in the entire city. Trakada had been coming here for almost six years now to organize his thoughts and re-focus his spirit to whatever lay ahead of him.

In, out, up, down... he went through his Waterbending forms slowly and calmly, like he did each month, his deep blue eyes lidded as he did. Up here, he was one with the moon and the ocean. One with the movements of his discipline. Unburdened by matters of day-to-day life. The moonlight fell softly against his slightly angular and pale features. The sound of the gentle waves recalled in his mind all of the times he had spent doing just this, and in this very spot.

He recalled the first time he had found the place, frustrated and fuming after nearly being expelled by Master Pakku. That night, he had wanted to bring the might of the tides crashing down on his frustrations, or maybe just disappear into the surf to escape his problems. In his unfocused anger, he recalled, he hadn't exactly known what he wanted. That was the night he met Yenna.

Yenna. This had been their place for a time, his and hers. He recalled the way the moonlight used to reflect off of her hair, her eyes.... the way her laughter had sounded echoing through the small chamber. He wondered if she had really changed so much after all of this time, or if he had just seen her differently back then.

Ripples of feeling went through Trakada as he finished his forms and moved over to the lone window, looking out and down to where he and Yenna had used to use their bending to make a small ledge to sit on. He recalled it having given him a little bit of vertigo the first couple of times- which is something Yenna still hadn't really stopped teasing him about to this day.

Almost reluctantly, he closed his eyes again and reached out to the frozen water around him, moving his palms in a slow, upward then outward movement. There was a sound of scraping ice, and a small ledge just like the ones he and Yenna used to make pushed its way out from the side of the tower. Carefully, he lifted his fur-trimmed boot to the windowsill and hoisted himself up and out onto the newly-formed perch.

The young warrior doubled-up the bottom part of his cerulean coat beneath him to insulate from the cold and sat cross-legged, overlooking the ocean beyond the terraced city below him. In his mind's eye, he could see visions of what lay beyond. New and strange lands. Interesting people. Countless adventures. And a war that had found its way right to his own front door. A war that had claimed his father's life.

Trakada had been feeling it for some time now, but tonight the feeling seemed stronger than ever before. He just couldn't stay here. The reasons were not trivial. For one thing, there was a lot of good he could be doing in the south. Maybe if he were in the right place at the right time, he could be the difference between someone else losing a loved one to the Fire Nation. He was under no illusion that he could end the war himself, but if he could make a difference to just one family, then what was he doing here?

That wasn't the only reason, though, he reminded himself as a tear formed at the corner of one eye. There was also Yenna...

He could barely look at her anymore, nor she him. They still did their best to keep up the appearance of the happy couple, especially around Trakada's mother. She had just lost a husband, and the least they could do for her is give her the impression that she still had a strong family left. Which wasn't completely untrue. Trakada and Yenna were family, and they always would be. They even loved each-other, that much was true. They just couldn't make themselves love each-other in the way that their parents had wanted.

Trakada wiped the tear off onto his glove, and idly twirled it in the air in front of him a couple times, using a simple bending motion of his fingers, before letting it plummet from the ledge to the icy streets below.

They had tried, but it just wasn't meant to be. To each-other, they were like the siblings that the two only-children had never had. The times they had spent together, right here in the spot where Trakada now sat, were times spent as best friends, not lovers. It only made it harder knowing that Yenna's parents had gotten along like two sea lions fighting over scraps of meat her whole life. Trakada more than anything thought Yenna deserved a happy marriage to make up for the impression her parents had given her, and it ate away at him every day that she probably never would because of him.

Deep inside, he had already made the decision to leave some time ago. It was likely only his newly-widowed mother that had caused him to hesitate. But she had always been strong, able, and independent. In the long run, he felt, he would be doing her a disservice as much as himself if he stayed around just for her sake. She had always wanted him to lead a full, exciting life.

Trakada got carefully to his feet, confused by the fact that his expression had involuntarily distilled into a weary grin. He faced the moon once again and looked, captivated, into its silver glow for a few moments, letting its light wash over him and soak into his being through the cold night air.

It would be better this way. He would go to collect his things in the morning.

Trakada - This was very well written, I must say. The emotion was certainly there, and although you didn't give me much description, it was enough. I only have two minor gripes. I disagree with the way you format your paragraphs. In my opinion, they're too short, but that's a personal thing. The other thing is that you do need to work on the overuse of "he" and "his". Try using his attributes, and talents, or a different way of phrasing the sentence. Just work on that, and you'll be just fine. Your post is ACCEPTED.

Display Name: Bei Zhi Sai
Real Age: [Do not put in my real age again!]
Gender: Male

(This is a star wars post I did just a few minutes ago at another site.)

When he finally arrived, Okarr opened his eyes and put his feet to the ground slowly and reclaimed his lightsaber. Then he walked into the cave with his training lightsaber. It was incredibly dark in the cave as he had not gone deep enough to actually see force sensitive crystals glow. This was part of his training however and so he just preceded as natural. As a Draethos he could see in low lighting and was not uncomfortable in the dark. As he moved in it got increasingly dangerous with weird sounds abounding from the walls around. It was moist and the Kinraths recognized him as a meal. The ugly creatures began to approach him, and things started to heat up. They attacked him one by one, however were dispatched by a combination of force push, and a large amount of lightsaber swinging. However they soon began to outnumber him and surrounded him. All of them were scratching at him attempting to injure him. Okarr was backed up against a wall and finally cornered. Kinrath to the left and Kinrath to the right they moved in slowly to prey that could not escape.

In his mind as they all went to move towards him, the only thing he could think of was something a jedi once told him, Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. As they approached his fear was starting to arise until it reached its boiling point. Balling up into a scared child, his fear stopped. With a strong rip of his arms outward to his sides, every one of them were repulsed into the wall. When it was all over, he arose to his feet and looked at the pure destruction of the Kinrath. Then after a short relent, he went into the cave further. Finally he saw the glow of crystals, and then saw some brown eggs; perhaps Kinrath. Looking around Kerr saw only blue, green, and purple colored lightsaber. The red were no where to be seen. However this was due to the fact red was in the eggs themselves. Purple colored crystals were what he saw first. They looked very beautiful to him and he wanted one. Then he took a few of them as to make his lightsaber. Then he took his satchel and took all the parts out. Looking at them for a brief moment before making an attempt at creating his weapon. The Draethos boy got into a calm state, crossing his legs on the ground. His mind cleared itself as his focus went to lifting himself from the ground with his lightsaber pieces.

Once again reprising his mediation he began to focus on building them through meditation. While floating, the crystals seemed to assemble themselves. Using a combination of force sight, meditation, and farseeing to do this. Eventually they came together and were finally complete. He stopped, snapped open his eyes, and Okarr's lightsaber fell into his hands. Pressing the button was the moment of truth and it ignited purple. However when he did he heard something stampede down the hallway of the cave. More Kinrath were coming and were going to kill Okarr for killing their brothers. However when they reached the entrance a large boulder fell on them all due to unstable rocks. The cave entrance was sealed. Okarr ran to the boulder scared once more. With his size there was going to be no way to lift that thing; so he thought. Confident that he could do it, he threw away all emotion and all thought of size comprehension. The hands of a young jedi boy stretched out with the force, and grabbed a boulder twice as big as his master and four times as wide. The boulder wobbled and wobbled until it was loose and finally levitating. Then the boy slowly moved it away from the entrance. After which he took a very victorious walk through the cave's darkness. The darkside was receded from this boy and the Kinrath wanted nothing else to do with him. In his hand he held his purple lightsaber tightly.

"I did it!" He was happy that he could do it and proud of his growth as a Jedi, "Size is relative," breathed the boy before falling to the ground on one knee. His right fist that was holding on to the lightsaber was what was holding him up...