As neutral as Hangetsu tried to make himself spiritually, Ren once more pushed him in the positive direction. It was difficult to stay centered when someone was dismissive of Ren...even when it was Ren herself.
He wondered how far he would have to go to defend the honor of his girlfriend. No answer was forthcoming as he soon wondered why he had thought of Ren as his girlfriend. How many dates would be the right number until the air acolyte claimed the title of "girlfriend"? This second date seemed too much a fluke to him. Perhaps after a third? That still sounded too soon to take that title as opposed to the one she currently held in Hangetsu's mind: "Slumming Goddess"?

Hangetsu's neutral jing was once more obliterated by Ren's mere existence when he mentioned Lemurland. Something about the shy acolyte emboldened Hangetsu in a way that confused him. While he had his doubts about his worthiness, part of the green-eyed, part time detective also felt that anyone Ren would honor with a second date was capable of anything. He had to remind himself every so often that he was that "anyone".

Ren tensed when the Equalist speaker became more audible. The Equalists were a polarizing lot and Hangetsu wasn't one to court controversy. It would be a foolish move for someone looking to develop something resembling a social life. Few knew his position on the Equalists. He felt that their struggle was meaningless. Nothing was truly equal. If pressed enough he would admit his view, but he would not elaborate...not unless in the guise of a joke.
"Equalists..." he said a scoff. "People are already equal. Equally inferior to earthbenders."
He spied a trash can and handed Ren some nails he had picked up. Nails formerly used to hold up a speaking platform.
"Would you throw those away, please?"
Upon retrospect, Hangetsu thought that aiding in the collapse of the speaker's platform as a source of humor might not have been the wisest course of action toward someone so peaceful.
Luckily, Ren asked about Lemurland.

"Once I graduated the police academy I had to find a place of my own. I had a small amount of money and a lot of clothes. I had completely taken over my sister's closet and was sleeping in her living room. I figured I had less than a week before she smothered me in my sleep."

With the trees of the park gone and once again on the paved Republic City streets Hangetsu felt a little colder and pulled his white overcoat tighter and then looked at Ren. Hangetsu had no idea how warm air acolyte robes were but they didn't seem to be as warm as his suit jacket and overcoat. Silently, the white overcoat was shrugged off and dangled in front of the air acolyte on the police officer's index finger.

"So, I'm walking down the street killing time because Izumi had a...gentleman caller and three is a crowd. If two of those three are brother and sister it's a particularly weird crowd when it comes to romance. I'm digressing. Sorry. Um, okay, I'm walking down..." he smiled as they turned a corner.
"This very street and next thing I know I'm face down sucking pavement. I thought a satomobile might have hit me but instead I see this huge guy running with an upright bass under his arm. I saw him run into Lemurland so I followed not sure what I was going to do. Then I got hit again."
Hangetsu let go of Ren's hand and slammed his fist into his open palm before taking it once again.
"After looking around for the guy I saw him on stage about fifteen minutes later. He knocked me down with his bass, then he knocked me out with it. It was like...musical bending. I came back every night and some days to listen to the music. Suigetsu hadn't been dead that long and my bending was still lost to me, but hearing that music made me feel better. In such a small place you get to know people fast, even the owner. He thought a cop could be trusted to make the rent and liked the idea of one upstairs in case of trouble. There is a lot of noise and I always smell a bit like cigarettes but it's cheap and I get all the jazz I want...and then some."

Hangetsu was forced to look at the club beneath his apartment with new eyes once he saw them with Ren beside him. The place that introduced him to jazz now seemed small and shabby compared to a place like The Golden Fan Saloon. They had gambling and dancers and colorful characters while Lemurland had stools repaired with tape and a boring metalbender living above. The most colorful part about Lemurland seemed to be the mural of a lemur playing the saxophone behind the stage where the band was sitting, smoking, and resting for their next set.
At most it fit fifty people and was in no danger of exceeding that limit.

It wasn't the Golden Fan, Hangetsu decided, but it was the first jazz club they would kiss inside. He would make sure of it.

Hangetsu considered himself a good bender most of the time and a snappy dresser all of the time but never in his life had he ever thought himself a good liar. He grew up under the guidance of a grandmother to whom the most subtle nuance was a lighted sign of mendacity.
It was that reason that the white-clad policeman felt a perverse sense of pride at not showing the absolute horror on his face when Ren seemed disappointed in his behavior. How long would be it before it dawned on her that she could find someone better looking, more charming and not prone to acts of petty vengeance?
If he'd known he was capable of it he could have hidden it, possibly.

"I...I'll try in the future to restrain myself. That kind of thing isn't right for a cop to do. They just...you looked upset." Even such an awful liar knew to omit certain things such as the fact that Ren looking upset provoked images of finding the source and enacting cruel, inhumane justice.
Now that he was one of those sources Hangetsu didn't know how to react. Things were a lot simpler when he was single and lonely. His flaws were a lot easier to ignore without a human mirror around.

Everyone who had ever given Hangetsu relationship advice seemed to chime in at once when Ren squeezed his hand in a forgiving and affectionate manner. Han, Suigetsu, Izumi, his bending teacher even meddlesome strangers appeared in his mind to give him the same advice: You're a lucky guy. Don't you dare screw this up.
To answer these voices as well as Ren's Hangetsu said: "Yes. I'm ready for this."

He sighed when he saw the underwhelming jazz bar with new eyes. "It's not much but I think it has charm." He made a sweeping gesture with his hand. "If you find us a place to sit I'll see if I can motivate the band to play."

An mostly empty club and a pocket full of yuans courtesy of his sister gave Hangetsu an option he had not considered. It didn't take any yuans to get the band to take his requests but it took a couple of the pink papers to get help from the bartender to move the tables until there was a clear space in front of the stage.

As instructed the band began to play. So many jazz songs were about love gone bad but luckily "I Only Have Eyes For You" and "The Hour of Love" were standards in clubs.
"Along with acting like an ass at times I also can't dance." He reached out his hand to the tall acolyte with the grey hair. "But, more than anything I would like to dance with you...even badly."
He had two songs to convince Ren that he was possibly worth finishing the date. He prayed that he could do so without stepping on her feet.

Hangetsu had no idea that there was a word could cause him to wan to run across tables with his arms raised hooting with joy. He had heard and read it before but coming from Ren's mouth that word was practically a command to celebrate. Darling. He could almost feel his big sister punching in the arm in her "Way to go, little brother!" fashion.
There were more words around it but they didn't seem nearly as important.

The green, steel-toed boots Hangetsu wore were designed for street use and grinding on wires, not for being merciful to the toes they stepped upon. While he had softer shoes the metal bender also had an almost pathological fear of leaving his feet vulnerable ever since he first cut them sliding across wires wearing dress shoes. It never occurred to me that he would have to dance in them.

"You can keep your feet on mine."
Awkward and silly-looking but it beat crushing Ren's toes and it held the benefit of bringing them closer together.
Well aware of his more base temptations the white-clad young man reminded himself to keep his left hand at the air acolyte's waist and not anywhere below.

All of the major mentors in Hangetsu's life suggested dancing. Suigetsu suggested it as a way to attract women, Han a way to blend into crowds for spying, his bending instructor as a way to practice footwork and his sister Izumi because he allegedly looked "cute". He listened to none of them and only grudgingly learned a simple box step.

He felt like a child next to Ren's increased height but the feel of Ren's robes and her scent caused more mature thoughts. He remined himself that he lived just upstairs and then reminded himself that if he followed that line of thinking he would probably embarrass himself.

When asked about earthbending he once described it as being in a womb of warmth, protection and love. That is what he felt pressed against the fold if Ren's yellow robe.
He knew he would have to eventually pull his head out of the spirit world's earthly realm to make sure he didn't steer himself and Ren into a table. Fortuntely, he could gaze upward at the gray-haired acolyte's face and still keep some attention on his peripheral vision.

He wondered if would be considered creepy if he told her she had an intoxicating smell like something that could cause a man to fall into a deep sleep, happily dreaming until he died of old age.
"Um, you smell nice."

Twirling was out of the question and dipping was too dangerous a proposition given their height difference and the meek young man's inexperience. Swaying was all he had but it felt like enough. Suddenly, dancing seemed like a worthwhile skill to have.
"Do you have any dreams, Ren? Is there anything other than being an Air Acolyte that you would like to do?"

Ren's smell conjured up the charmingly odd sensation of reading a good book next to the sea. There was also a certain "Ren-ness" that he could not place. He wished he hadn't said anything. It made him sound creepy and canine to his ears. His grandfather taught him to cook and his grandmother to detect. Both believed a trained nose aided in these fields. He almost joked that he was part dog but he was afraid how that might sound.
Instead he asked about her dreams.

"Kids..."
The thought of starting a family made Hangetsu uncomfortable. Even as a child he was career-obsessed. Added with the fact that his own parents were more like friendly relatives who came by every so often none of the Tsukishima children thought parenthood as a worthwhile pursuit.
This prompted Hangetsu to indulge in one of his more embarrassing habits. Thinking out loud.
"I wonder what a Ren/Hangetsu child would be like."

Hangestu paused in horror and matched Ren's bright red face. That was definitely not a second date kind of conversation...unless it was a while from the first date and the first date went incredibly fast romantically.
Ren started to pull away and for a moment Hangetsu let her drift before gently pulling her back into his arms.
"I never really thought about it." He paused with his eyes cast downward. "Actually, that's a lie. I thought about it and decided I wouldn't be a good father. I'm a fair bender, an okay cook and mediocre detective but I'd make a terrible father."
A month ago Hangetsu would have considered himself a master in these fields but experience had whittled away a good deal of his arrogance. His bending still wasn't consistent and he'd eaten the food of better cooks and worked with a far greater detective than himself.

"Some people just aren't cut out for parenthood. What would I talk with my kid about?" He thought of how his father was barely around and how cold his relationship with his grandfather had become after Hangetsu decided to pursue a career in law enforcement.
"I can't imagine having to deal with a kid like I was."

His green eyes were half-lidded and aimed at Ren's chest but not in a lascivious manner. He simply could not meet her eyes. He didn't mean to say what he said.
Forcing his gaze upwards, Hangetsu smiled.
"You...you'd be a great mother."
Once their eyes met Hangetsu couldn't help but wonder what a child born of the two would look like. A little Rengetsu running around and bumping into things. Any child of theirs was sure to have abysmal visual acuity.

The smile froze on her face as Hangetsu mused aloud what a child of their making might look like. Ren felt her body tense and her mind go blank as Hangetsu went on about children from their union, wondering what he could do for a child with his limited experience with children. An icy hand gripped her heart when he smiled at her and murmured, "You... you'd be a great mother."

Ren stopped moving all together, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before she looked away - at the floor, at the band, at anything other than Hangetsu. She let go of his hands, stepped off his shoes, and awkwardly rubbed her arm. "Um..." She reached up to her braid, anxiously tugging on it repetitively, alternating hands in a continuous, fluid motion. Her already-messy hair slowly unravelled from its confines as she struggled to find the words. How would she tell him? She thought she had made it clear on her first date, but she remembered that he had said he wasn't sure he understood what she was trying to say.

It was an awkward, absolutely mortifying situation. She felt her face burn scarlet, felt as if all eyes in the room were on her: the tall, gangly, scarlet-and-gold clad, grey-haired woman in the middle of the dance floor. Her eyes downcast, she tugged at Hangetsu's sleeve, signalling they should move off the floor and back to their table. She reached it first, flopped down unceremoniously in her seat, and waited miserably for him to join her.

Once he sat, she leaned forward, her voice low and unsteady. "I really... really don't know how to say this." She drummed her fingers on the table rapidly, her anxiety echoing in the wooden tattoo barely audible above the blare of brass. "I can't... I can't have kids," she finally said, her voice trembling with unshed tears. She tugged, somewhat violently, at her clothes near her chest. "There's nothing here," she spat, the loathing for her body creeping through her tone. "Nothing, not a thing." She balled her ink-stained hand into a fist and struck herself mercilessly without a wince. "Nothing."

This was it. The part where either Hangetsu would stay and understand, or run away forever, thinking he'd been deceived. She put her face into the table, covering her head with her arms in misery and shame. From somewhere under the swaths of cloth, her voice came, muffled. "Physically, I'm... male." It was a painful, painful admission. She had been able to forget, to ignore the fact since she'd come to Republic City, at least for the most part. But now, at just the smallest mention, all of her dissatisfaction with the discord she felt with her physical sex came rushing forward like a suddenly liberated dam.

"I'm sorry."

She knew that the apology was unnecessary, any more than one would apologise for being a firebender or a particular age. Still, she felt like she had somehow misled Hangetsu, somehow wasn't clear the first time around. A small, dry sob escaped her lips. Her eyes stung, hot with tears that she refused to let fall. Instead, she kept her face buried with her glasses pressing uncomfortably up against her face, and hoped either he didn't care, or that if he was revolted by her that he would have the courtesy to leave without another word.

On a scale of stupidity it ranked at about forty Hangetsus but it was by no means the most stupid thing Hangetsu Tsukishima had ever said or would ever say.
Still, it was stupid. It also made Ren sad, making it evil as well. But as stupid and evil as his words were he still felt that his date would make a good mother.
There's nothing to apologize for...for either of us."

He gently caressed Ren's larger hand and looked up into her gray eyes and for a moment forgot about how awkward that was at their height difference.
"I stand by my idiotic remark. You are a kind and patient woman. Therefore, a good mother in the making. Your..." he tried to think of the right way to refer to her lack of a womb. Something tactful but that would get the point across. "Um...body gunk doesn't have anything to do with it. My mother could give birth but being an actual parent was beyond her."

Hangetsu fiddled with the band around his right ear that kept his glasses in position. It wasn't required but it gave him something to do with his hand.
"Physically male?" He shrugged his shoulders. "So what? You're a fantastic woman."

Delicately, Hangetsu reached across the table to Ren's face with his palms up and slowly so as to not provoke any misunderstandings. As if handling something made of fine crystal he took Ren's glasses from with one hand and leaned across the table. For a moment he thought he saw a tear fall, but it had not. He knew repressed tears when he observed close...and he was indeed close.

The right gesture was lost to him. Should he kiss her? Carress her cheek? Hangetsu was utterly lost and confused. To buy time to think he cleaned her glasses with his tie. The bought time turned out to be wasted. He didn't know what to do, only what he wanted. He stood and slid next to Ren and put his arm around her.
"Ren...I'll be here as long as you'll tolerate me. I'm not good with words so I can't say how much it hurts me that I made you cry or how crazy I am about you."

A silent moan escaped. To someone other than himself it may have sounded like a exasperated breath. He wished he could excuse himself to punch himself in the face. He'd been told that the second date was far too early to be spouting off about how crazy he was about someone.

A good father? Hangetsu almost laughed. The thought of raising a child even half as troublesome as himself and his sister terrified him. Between Hangetsu's unsupervised departures involving childish attempts at crime solving and his sister's tendency to rub nearly everyone she met the wrong way, child-rearing seemed to be far more trouble than it was worth.
"I have to disagree with you there. I'd be a terrible father. Besides, rebellion runs in the family and I don't want to have to deal with a little version of me who hates everything I stand for. It's what I deserve, though. I was an obnoxious little brat way back when."

Ren's invite to a festival broke Hangetsu's reverie and stirred up yet another memory. A young Hangetsu had asked his house-husband grandfather what he did all day while he and his sister were at school. His grandfather professed to be a student as well, only the field of study was something more esoteric. His grandfather studied his grandmother.

Suigetsu had joking called it "Hanology". The study of the habits and thought processes of Han Ye Seul. Suddenly, the idea of a singularly focused study of sociology didn't seem like such a humorous thing. Hangetsu could see how a man could dedicate his life to the study of one woman. After all, Ren was nothing if not utterly confusing.
Hangetsu wondered if he could dedicate himself to Renguistics.

How could he make such an utter ass of himself and still be accepted by the Air Acolyte? He pondered this as he took his seat from across from Ren. The detective in him wanted to know why but the man in him couldn't give one sliver of a care. As far as that part of him was concerned the only problem was saying "yes" in the most suave a debonaire way possible.
...Y-" He choked on his the first third of his one syllable answer.
"Yes. Very yes."

"....Questions abound. What should I wear? Will there be sky bison rides? Is the vegetarian thing enforced? Finally, will you be wearing a pretty festival yukata?"
For a moment Hangetsu could have sworn his spirit had fled and glimpsed himself. Elbows propped on the table with his fingers intertwined. It was the same posture and tone he used to interrogate. Sometimes it was difficult to switch from cop mode when asking questions.

With a nervous chuckle Hangetsu relaxed his posture and separated his hands.
"A festival sounds like a lot of fun. I haven't been to one in years."
Thinking back to festivals past made Hangetsu smile. Realizing that Ren had just asked him out for a third date made that smile expand to an almost painful degree.
"Every year my dad would take me and Zumi to the festival. I wouldn't see him or mom much but he's always be there around festival time. What about you? Any fond festival memories from your old town?"

The humor of discussing parenting philosophies and finding contrasts did not escape Hangetsu. His grandmother Han had trained him to be careful and methodical while his grandfather Suigetsu taught him to charge foolishly ahead or else be mired in indecision.
Ren brought out the Suigetsu in him. As bad a topic as child-reading was on a second date Hangetsu proceeded forward.

"I have to disagree...um, respectfully disagree...with respect. I've seen the result of giving a child too much freedom. You get people like my father. Someone flighty and irresponsible. I wouldn't know how to deal with someone like that."

He paused and once more felt the need to clarify.
"Nothing against him or anyting...dad was a good guy. Took me and Zumi to the festival every year and was fun to be around. Just...you know, he and mom weren't much for, uh, well parenting."
He had a feeling that the topic of his childhood would not be dropped any time soon.

Hangetsu smiled at Ren's story even though in his mind she was a little girl with gray hair and glasses too large for her face. He knew it wasn't accurate but it was cute.
When Ren's question about being raised by Han and Suigetsu came Hangetsu felt less dread than he thought and more nostalgia than he had hoped. His date's attitude was infectious.

"Me and Izumi always knew that they were our grandparents while our parents were out doing something else. Han and Suigetsu were a little strange but when you are raised around people like that strange is normal. Han was a private detective. Really smart but not that good with people. Watching her observe everyday things and solve cases must be what it's like to see The Avatar bend. Like someone doing what the Gods meant for them to do."
He took a sip of water.

"Suigetsu was...um...one minute he was a good guy the next unbearably obnoxious. While Han was aloof he was embarrassingly open. He was the type of person who would jump into a volcano if someone told him not to. He taught me to cook and clean and when I discovered my bending he taught me about the different jings. He was a waterbender but he identified with the Earth Kingdom and it's philosophies."

"Since they were old Izumi had to look after me quite a bit but Han would always find time to read to me and Suigetsu never passed up an opportunity to splash us with water in the park. Suigetsu didn't want me to become a cop but even after we grew apart he was there for me when I really needed him."

He cast his eyes downward toward his water and sighed.
"I miss those two and I didn't treat them as well as I should have. I never told Han I loved or and the last thing I said to Suigetsu before he died was so vile I can't repeat it." He hadn't meant to add that last part but it was difficult to maintain a hold on his emotions when discussing his deceased grandparents.

"...Okay, something cheery. Festival...um, we should shop around for something for you to wear. I know it's not typically a guy thing but I like to shop for clothes. You should see my apartment upstairs it's like a book and clothes warehouse."

He groaned at how that must have sounded.

At first he didn't know whether to laugh at Ren's joke about wearing women's clothes not being a typical guy thing. He could keep himself from laughing but he couldn't keep himself from grinning like an idiot.

Ren seemed excited about the prospect of seeing the collection of books in Hangetsu's apartment. Hangetsu, in turn, was pleased with the subject drifting away from child-rearing.
He stood and made a sweeping gesture with his right arm to the stairs leading up to his apartment above Lemurland.
"Sure...it's like a small and less interesting library up there. Quite a few reference books and yuan-store novels. You know...the kind nobody admits to reading."

Upon reaching the first step of the stairs every girl-unfriendly item in his possession came to mind. Mostly literature of an erotic nature, the worst of which was written by his sister. The fact that Izumi Tsukishima published a series of short pulp serials using him as a template never ceased to be humiliating. The very fact that a voracious reader like Ren hadn't read the "Fleshbender" series featuring a police officer by the wholly unoriginal name of Hangetsu was something the real Hangetsu thanked the spirits for profusely.
Then he remembered that book.

Normally sealed within a seamless metal box inaccessible by any non-metal bender was a book of paintings of a certain Chief of Police in a series of risque poses and various states of undress. He could see it there on the small table in his small kitchen far outside of its metal box of shame. Between that and the Fleshbender series Hangetsu began hoping for a sudden fire. Surely there was a firebender he had wronged in some way and wanted revenge...if he was lucky.

Three deadbolts kept curious drunks from his apartment but there wasn't a single lock to be picked. Only a fellow metal bender could get in so Hangetsu felt safe enough. What worried him was fellow cops. Being in Internal Affairs made Hangetsu fear police reprisal should be ever manage to actually bust another member of the police force.

When the first two bolts were taken care of Hangetsu made a mental inventory of anything that might diminish himself in Ren's beautiful grey eyes. Erotic book of paintings on table, embarrassing pulp novels starring a pan-sexual version of himself were the only things he could think of.

The last bolt was slid out of position and Hangetsu crossed the threshold of his apartment with his eyes closed. Small, filled with books and racks of clothes. He had never thought of it before but with Ren with him his apartment seemed far too much like a flea market.

With a heavy sigh he didn't bother to hide Hangetsu pointed to two bookshelves on opposite walls and named them.
"Fiction. Non-fiction. Alphabetized by the last name of the author. Uh...I'll make coffee." Suddenly he had an excuse to speed to his kitchen and return his painted and bound shame to its rightful home. Had the book of Bei Fong-centric paintings been on his table he would have done just that. Instead it rested in his non-fiction bookcase in between a thick tome describing the eighty-five jings and a less ponderous one touching on different styles of earth bending.
A knot developed into his stomach. That knot then felt as if it were being batted around by a saber-toothed moose lion on fire. He knew what he had to do to keep Ren away from his far too visible erotica.
"In the fiction section you'll see some books my sister wrote. The Fleshbender series."

With his erotic picture book tucked safely under his white suit jacket Hangetsu felt a momentary relief.
The moment lasted until he saw Ren perusing the first book in the Fleshbender series.
The very scenario of someone Hangetsu wished to impress reading Fleshbender was the reason Izumi Tsukushima lent her brother money so freely.

"Zumi meant for it to be an adventure series but her editor suggested she sex it up some. Her stuff is about as low as brow can get. Not many character arcs and development so much as someone being seduced or kicked in the face. Not exactly literary, but...dumb fun."

The mention of the name "Omoi Tenoh" provoked a round of chuckling that seemed more in line with a villain in one of his sisters serials.
"Yes..." he said a little awkwardly through his smiling laughter. "I have a passing familiarity with Tenoh's work." He put his fist just under his nose to stifle his laughter but it still came out in abrupt snorts.

After his laughter subsided Hangetsu felt the need to explain. "Omoi Tenoh...Zumi's alleged rival. It's entirely one-sided, but Zumi makes me read everything he writes."

During his fit of laughter the tenuous grip on his collection of erotic drawings ceased causing the second book-based humiliation.
As terrible a liar as he was Hangetsu felt like a little kid again trying to cover up an unpleasant truth with an unbelievable fiction.
The relaxed laugh he had planned came out in awkward gasps.
"Wah, heyh, ha." As much as he could Hangetsu smiled through his gritted teeth.
"I see you found my sister's gag gift for me. She has that kind of sense of humor."

Every sign of lying Hangetsu had been trained to detect by Han had been displayed flagrantly. Living with a detective and being taught her trade made him a passable detector of lies but one terrible at creating them.
"Um...it's mine. Uh, how much money or how many books will it take to make you forget you saw that?"