What was I thinking?

What possessed Jing to try and explore a place as gigantic as Republic City in one day? Madness! This effort reduced the well-trained Earthbender to, frankly, rubble. His hope was to maybe not feel so alone in the city. Meet some people, see some things, learn things about his new home. Now he was not only alone, but cold, hungry, tired, and curled into a ball on a park bench. Mission accomplished, Jing.

This was so uncharacteristic of him. There was a certain appearance that he liked to maintain for himself; a well-groomed, chivalrous, artistic boy that takes care of all of his problems, both personal and professional. It's not very professional to sleep in a park. Jing really hoped whoever was speaking to him and putting their hand on his shoulder would leave and forget what he looked like. Although this person, evidently a man, sounded like he genuinely wanted to help him, Jing was not the kind of person to take charity. But he could realize when needed to do so.

Jing turned his head up to the man above him, and wiped his eyes of their grog to see who this was. The first thing he noticed was this man's piercing blue eyes, a deeper blue than he had seen in all of Republic City. Obviously this man was from one of the Water Tribes, apparent in his brown hair and blue attire. Without realizing it, Jing had been staring into this man's eyes for quite a few seconds. Once he did realize this, he quickly looked away and sat up, then in a swatting motion brought his rock wall down. This burst of energy was met with a rush of pain to his head, most likely due to his not eating. Jing buried his face in his hands. “AH, my hea- umm, yes, I'm okay.”, Jing uttered through his hands. The pain was gnawing at him.

Jing had never been this hungry. His father kept him and his family in comfort and luxury, never going without. That was something Jing did admire about his father. Jing hoped to be able to do the same for a family of his own someday. But how could he do so on a seamster's salary? Hopefully his husband would have a job that provided enough for the two to provide a nice life for their children. This made him wonder what his father would say if he knew he liked men. Probably nothing less than a heart-attack. It seemed quite humorous to Jing, the reaction he assumed his father would have. But the humor within him was not displayed outwardly.

“You wouldn't happen to have any food on you, would you?”, Jing asked the man. “I'm terribly sorry to bother you for such a thing, I just haven't eaten for a long while.” Jing felt so embarrassed asking for help like this. But he was desperate. He had no idea how to get home or where he could get food. If only he was in a bit better spirits, he might have been able to protect himself and limp his way home. If only, if only..

Wow, kindness. After a day full of nothing but quiet reflection and harsh exposure to the city, this boy was quite refreshing. He seemed very knowledgeable on the city, he knew of this restaurant that wasn't very far from the park. This guy would have been helpful about three hours ago while Jing was walking, but it's better to have him now than not at all. This boy was probably wondering what got Jing there, and Jing knew he owed him at least some sort of explanation in return for his hospitality. Even though he was in a fair deal of pain, he tried his best to endure long enough to answer the boy's questions.

Jing accepted the man's help standing up. “Pleased to meet you, Ichiro. I'm Jing.” His headache was growing worse, causing him to hold his head in his hand the whole way to the restaurant. Once he had some food in his system, Jing knew his head problems would be gone. As they began walking, he started to answer the man's questions. “Well, I'd say that I'm most certainly both new and lost.” he said in voice of slight humor, “But I know you're not making fun of me, although in hind-sight this is a bit humorous.” Obviously this boy was being genuine, or else he would have left Jing there to die. But he didn't, so he was.

Ichiro then asked what had happened to him. It was really simple, but quite embarrassing. How does one say that they basically were too stupid to remember to eat or where there house was, and kept wandering? “I just was so.. enthralled, by the city, that I lost track of time. And place.” That was the best way he could put it. The fact that Ichiro was actually born here didn't make him feel any better. It seemed like everyone knew Republic City better than he did. All Jing could muster in response was a weak “Lucky..”

Once they had arrived at this restaurant, they immediate got a table and sat down. Jing slumped over the table, but tried to not look as exhausted as he was. The place seemed nice, very homey. Their waitress knew Ichiro, which was apparent from their conversation. Ichiro seemed very nice. His comment to him made him smile, then he said “You were right about my order, by the way. Anything sounds good right about now.” Why did he choose this place, though? On their short walk alone Jing saw several other restaurants. “Is there any particular reason we've come here, Ichiro?” he inquired, adding “Does it have anything to do with that waitress?”

He meant that, indeed, to imply something. Not that Jing really cared if they were, but it gave their conversation flavor. It was a necessary boost, considering they would be spending the sitting together. But that didn't take away from the fact that this guy did interest Jing, on multiple levels. He was attractive, friendly, and caring. What more could be asked for by a someone who just awoke from sleeping on a bench? The waitress then brought the two some waters, which Jing promptly drank down in a matter of seconds.

It was hard for Jing to socialize normally. He never was the beautiful social butterfly that he looked like. Often he would end up giving off vibes that he never intended to, or giving other people the wrong impression. And his current state did not help this matter and made Jing a little bit starry-eyed for this guy. He had sorta saved his life. But to be fair, Jing was quite quick to be affectionate most of the time. He was like a puppy in that sense, but not overly so. As with most things, Jing maintained a precedent of subtlety with his controllable quirks. So Jing didn’t actually feel anything for Ichiro, it was more of a daze he was in with his “savior”. Besides, this guy hardly seemed like he was gay at all.

Finally, Jing’s long awaited meal had arrived. The sight of the steaming plate caused Jing’s stomach to grumble in joy. Thank the Spirits, he thought. He began to chow down, throwing all of his prior manners to the wind. It wasn’t like Ichiro was going to shame him for doing so. After a few minutes Jing realized Ichiro was talking. He tried to be subtle and seem like he was listening, throwing a few “Ohh, okay.”s and “That makes sense”s in when he could. Luckily it worked, and after a few moments he had pieced together what Ichiro had said. “Well, if I could get free food, I would go out of my way to eat here too.” Jing said post-realization, along with “And as for this ‘Ami’, she seems nice. It must be nice to work here.”

Jing was pretty happy. He was having a nice meal, in a decent restaurant, with a pretty cool guy, in one of the greatest cities in the world. The fact that his meal was free helped, though. He finished his meal, and began to drink more water. It was one thing that he could not get enough of. He adored water and how pure it was. His headache had subsided, and his body was beginning to feel back to normal. He remained tired, though. Jing did notice a look of confusion on Ichiro’s face, but it never really caused any concern in Jing. It seemed to pertain to his work, but Jing ignored it all the same.

After setting his glass down, Jing responded to Ichiro’s advice with a simple “Probably. Hopefully I won’t need any help soon.” At this point Jing had been much more interested in the meal than the conversation, and since the food was gone he became quite bored. But then Ichiro wanted to know more about him. A bit nosy of this guy, but Jing’s past meant nothing to this guy, so what harm could it do? Jing started by saying, “If you hadn’t gathered already, I’m an Earthbender.” In his sarcastic tone, and then added “..but I am an authentic one, coming straight from Ba Sing Se. As for my employment, I’m a designer and seamster at Songho’s House of Fashion, downtown. It’s a pretty nice gig, it’s actually quite important to me. “ This guy being quite friendly. How odd.

That was hardly fair, Jing thought. Yes, he had helped Jing out immensely, but how could he expect anything else from him? The Earthbender hadn't really eaten at all that day, wasn't in his fully right mind, and didn't know where he was in relation to his home. That food needed to be inside him. After all, he did eventually realize what the Waterbender had said.  He honestly did not mean to offend the guy, and felt bad for accidentally did so. He had planned on thanking him when he was on his way out. But that just didn't seem to be soon enough. 

The Waterbender began to get up and walk away. It was apparent that he was quite upset. Ichiro's sarcastic tone was sharp and cold, in sharp contrast to the warm, humorous way that Jing intended in his. How could this meal have gone so far downhill? Maybe it was time Jing swallowed his pride and just fully admitted his need for help. "If one cannot thank his host for their services, one has lost his battle with pride", a saying that Jing's mother had instilled into his consciousness long ago. Those words were said by his grandfather, who was a wise and talented Earthbender in Ba Sing Se long ago. Jing could not dishonor him like this. 

"Wait, Ichiro. Please sit back down. Somewhere along the way today I must have lost my manners." Jing said, his voice carrying and seeming to grasp Ichiro. He waved Ichiro over, indicating for him to sit. The Waterbender seemed apprehensive about rejoining him. This man obviously had a low tolerance for rudeness. With a large amount of reluctance, the man sat down. Jing had to prove himself worthy of this man's wasted time and patience. "You have no idea how grateful I am for your help. If it hadn't been for you, I'd still be on that bench." Jing said, looking directly into Ichiro's eye, "And I cannot thank you enough for this meal, which has given me the will to live again." he said with a humorous intention. But this humor was wasted on him. "I'd also like to apologize for not being this candid with you earlier. I was just.. unable to do so. So please forgive me."

Jing was uncertain as to how this would go. He sat up in his chair, ready for anything this guy had to throw at him. He hoped that this would show his sincerity, but in reality it could go either way. Since Ichiro did do a very large amount for him and Jing did seen ungrateful, along with his not paying attention to what he said, he a large amount of reason to just kindly accept his words and walk away.

There was a wave of relief that washed over Jing. His worries over Ichiro’s reaction subsided. His behavior deserved a bad reaction, and he would have fully accepted such a reaction. But Jing was pretty glad that he didn’t react in such a way. This guy was pretty cool and he hoped to make all his effort worthwhile. Jing was quite also surprised at Ichiro’s amusement from his joke. He just didn’t think he’d be able to make him laugh. One should never assume, Jing supposed in his head.

Things were going well, and then Ichiro’s waitress friend came up and spoke to him for a bit. What did she mean “date”? Could this guy actually be gay too? It’s one thing for him to think a straight guy is attractive, but it was rare for Jing to ever actually like someone of his own sexuality. It was the masculinity, he supposed, that enticed him. And it wasn’t too odd of an assumption, now, to think that Ichiro was gay. But as he recently learned, never assume. “Why would they assume that I was your date? Are you gay?” being direct was the only way to get things done in these sorts of matters, so Jing did, “It’s not that I have anything against gays, I am one myself, I just would never have guessed that about you.” At this point they were both still at the table, and the waitress had left.

It was understandable that him being gay didn’t come up in conversation. It wasn’t something that was a “hot topic” in the city. And it wasn’t like Ichiro was going to blatantly say, in the middle of a conversation, “Oh, by the way, I’m a homosexual”. But Jing was rushing to conclusions again, hardly something that was appropriate. While Jing was thinking this, he was searching himself for his glasses. It wasn’t as if he needed them, but he was hoping to make sure he didn’t lose them. Those tinted glasses made traveling through the seedier parts of town easy, and may come in handy in the near future.

Ichiro began to ask Jing if he needed help getting home. He did. “Actually, I really would like that. Thank you.” Jing then told Ichiro his address. Hopefully Jing’s neighborhood wouldn’t seem to scary to Ichiro. Not to say that this man was weak by any means, but most people who do well for themselves, or who have families that do, wouldn’t come to that part of town if they didn’t have to. Also, this made him think about what Ichiro would think of him for living in such a place. Worrying about what others thought was not something that he usually did, but this was different. Jing then stood up and said “Well, I am ready if you are.” with a smile.

There was one part about Jing that he didn't like to really talk about. He resented the idea that all gay men were the same, or that all gay men were flamboyantly feminine. It just happened to be that his passion was for clothing design and that he was also gay; the two were independent of each other. He refused to also settle for someone who fit that stereotype of the feminine gay man. This came into Jing's mind as Ichiro said that he was, indeed, gay. To Jing's surprise, Ichiro said he didn't fit the stereotype. Such words met pleased ears, as this was something that Jing truly loved hearing. He resented the norm, and wished to push what is considered to be the norm.

Something that caused Jing to think was, what seemed to be, Ichiro's rush to get him out of the restaurant. Yes, Jing had stood up first and initiated this move. But with the worried looks Ichiro was giving the wait staff as they walked by, it was as if he didn't want them to see Jing. They both knew they weren't on a date, so why should it matter?

As they were walking out of the eatery, Jing looked to Ichiro and asked “Are you afraid of your family seeing us together?”, with a tone of concern rather than annoyance. “I know that I'm not looking my best right now, but I hardly say that I'm something to be ashamed of.”, added for humor. He hardly was overly concerned about if this guy actually would be ashamed to be seen with him, Jing followed right behind Ichiro, seeing as he was the guide here. As they began to walk through the dark city, he remembered that his apartment wasn't the worst on the block. It actually had an offbeat sort of charm. It was his neighborhood itself that was the eyesore. The dangerous eyesore.

Ichiro then asked about Jing's work, and how he came to that business. He had to think about that for a bit. Honestly, it was very natural. “When I was a child, I would see my mother get dressed I beautiful gowns and jewelry, something that you would usually expect to be worn to a ball. But she would wear that to watch us, the children, all day. Her elegance and fashion expertise inspired me.” That was the basics of it, but he felt like going a bit deeper. “I wanted to be able to export that liberation from dull, inexpressive clothing to the world.” He felt like he was rambling. “I'm sorry for going so in depth. I'd return the question but I'm pretty sure of how you came to where you work.”, then noticing his water skin, “But I will ask this: how good of a water bender are you?”

Watching people bend was a favorite pastime of his. It was interesting to watch people use their abilities. Although he looked forward to the day where he met another Earthbender, Waterbenders were high on the priority list. But Jing never did catch on to the Pro-Bending craze. It seemed too commercial, lacking the tradition and ritual that came with bending for bending's sake. Maybe, if he was lucky, Ichiro would give him a private show.

Jing could understand how Ichiro was feeling. He had an overbearing father as well. It was part of the reason he left Ba Sing Se a year ago. Many times his father would press so far into Jing's life that he wished he was dead instead of living under such tyranny. There was relatively nothing of his own business. It was as if his father wanted to live Jing's life for him, like it was his second chance. That was something the two had in common, but it wasn't really the time to bring that up.

Ichiro mentioned his clothes being inexpressive, with some laughs. But Jing didn't really agree. “I'm not sure I see it how you do.” The idea that Jing had was less of one that supports expensive clothing from major labels, but more of clothing that expressed who the person was. “Unless there is something you are trying to not tell with your clothing, then your clothes are fine.” It was more of a philosophy that a person must try to deceive people with their clothing. Jing may appear to do so, but his clothing was an expression of him. He hid behind his expression. He wasn't hiding anything but his feelings from cruel judgment. This was one of the true paradoxes of Jing; he worked in one of the most judgmental businesses in the world, yet he hated judgment itself. “You dress fine for what it seems you're trying to portray.”, he said to Ichiro with a smile as they were walking.

“You can train!?” Jing was surprised that someone with a job here could have time to train, “How do you find time?”. Since he has moved to Republic City he had rarely anytime to train. Well, he had those few days off he had or after work. But, concerning days off, those were far and few between. When he received one from Mr Songho, he used it to explore, which evidently is not going very well for him. And those times after work were primarily spent working on designs for clients. It wasn't as if there were that many orders, but Jing was very meticulous in his work. He wanted to make sure he pleased his clients. Actually, Jing had only used his bending twice since he had arrived. Once to defend a school student in trouble, and again to make that wall to defend himself in the park. This thought made Jing sad. He needed to put his bending higher on his priority list.

Ichiro returned the bending question. “As I recall, I'm a pretty good bender.” he said with a slight chuckle. “My grandfather taught bending many years ago, and then taught my mother, who taught me.” Jing took pride in his families history. Although this pride was mainly for his mother's side. His father was estranged from his family for reasons his mother never told him. “But I haven't trained in a very long time.” Ichiro mentioned Pro-Bending, which made Jing's eyebrow raise in annoyance. He never really cared for it. Jing thought it was a mockery of the ancient techniques. But if the match was good enough, he'd probably watch. “I'm glad you recognize that. If they had been classically trained those fighters probably wouldn't think to participate in such a sport.”

Ichiro's response to his fashion ramblings brought little surprise to Jing. Not many people understood it the way he did. Jing saw many people feel for other things similarly to the way he felt about fashion, but no other person that he met was able to feel for fashion like him. Hopefully Ichiro knew that Jing did like what he was wearing, its simplicity and all. Just because Jing's outfit was detailed and ornate didn't mean that everyone should, it was more that people should be able to wear what they want for whatever reason whenever. Wardrobal liberation from social stigmas. But this was too much for him to explain tonight, and Jing kept those thoughts to himself.

“I love Earthbending too, it's just..” Jing struggled, “I love my art more, I guess.” Those words hurt to say, it brought back images of his grandfather teaching him some of his favorite techniques. His grandfather meant a large deal to him, even though they didn't get to see each other very often. Hopefully, wherever his grandfather was, he didn't know Jing felt that way. As Ichiro said he had no life, Jing chuckled a bit and nodded, understanding what he meant. If the definition of 'having no life' was what Ichiro did, then Jing didn't either. Their schedules sounded very similar, except for the training. But if you replaced that with sketching around in his apartment, they were almost identical. His boss, Mr. Songho, told him that he had earned himself some negotiations on his schedule and pay due to his flawless work ethic. Maybe he'd be more motivated to do so if he had some people to do things with. Ichiro seemed like he could be that 'someone'.

Maybe Jing was jealous of the Pro-Benders, because they got to bend and make money doing so. Whatever his true feeling was, he knew that he did not like the sport. It seemed stupid to him. But Ichiro was right, 'to each their own'. “I suppose the exception proves the rule, in this case.” on classically trained benders in Pro-Bending. “But, regardless of how disingenuous the sport is to tradition, those athletes are quite hot.” It came out casually, as Jing had very little problem making such comments around other people. He smiled as he said it, looking at Ichiro for some sort of agreement with the statement. He detested their sport, but the athletes were tip-top on the totem-pole of sexiness to Jing. They stayed fit and usually had some sort of personality. He assumed the last part, though. You can't judge a person's personality by their once in a blue moon interviews.


Ichiro then mentioned Jing and his 'business', which was true. Jing made himself quite busy. “I am. I constantly fill my schedule with projects. Mainly to distract myself from the fact that I lack a social life.” he returned the smile to Ichiro. “Sketching, planning, and researching are usually what I do on my time off. Quite a downer, right?” Ichiro had no problem joking about himself, he considered it the best way to stay sane. But he was completely honest, in that he never did anything socially. His work occupied his time. It was very rare that Jing missed having a social life; his work was fulfilling. Yet, in those times of longing for a social life, he could go to a very dark place.

The distance was growing short between the two and Jing's apartment. He began to worry if this would be it, and the two would part ways forever afterward. He didn't want that. As they reached a corner that was a few blocks away from their destination, Jing looked at Ichiro and asked “So, do you maybe want to.. hang out, sometime? If you're too busy, I'd obviously understand.” They both had work that occupied their time, and things that they did outside of business hours that consumed time. Jing figured he should ask now before it became the cliché “end of date; doorstep” moment.

Jing enjoyed talking with Ichiro. He wasn't judging him at all, unlike most of the people he came across. There was a sentiment among most people of big cities that artists were either the personal employees of the government, in the Earth Kingdom at least, or they were just rambling hobos. Since Jing was neither, he found that quite offensive. Ichiro understood that it was his passion, and just because he pursued his passion didn't mean that he was foolish or a “starving artist”. Although, sometimes he did go hungry. But only for a night. Jing never was the best with money. His job provided well enough for him to live comfortably, without too many stresses. What caused his problems was himself; he couldn't help but make the occasional impulse buy. It was apparent in the amount of paintings and random objects around his apartment. Hopefully, Ichiro wouldn't see that mess yet.

The fact that Ichiro agreed about the Pro-Benders was good. He didn't react as if it was innapropriate to talk about, so he knew he could be a bit more candid with him. He was starting to relax around this guy.

“Bending sounds way more interesting than what I do.” Jing retorted to Ichiro's words on what he did, “But, I just need to bend more.” It was obvious that Jing missed bending. Why hadn't he made time for it? He was a very spiritual person, but in touch with the spirits either. Frankly, his soul was on empty. But, Jing doubted the Waterbender with him would understand. Either he was complete in the matters of spirit, or he wasn't really one to be very spiritual. Spirituality wasn't something you brought up with people, it was a very personal matter, and Jing intended to keep it that way. Regardless, Jing vowed to himself that he would bend more soon. He owed it to himself.

After he said it, Jing realized he might sound like he was interested in more than friendship. Most people in Ba Sing Se said he was a “flirt”, which he didn't understand. 'What was wrong with being friendly?', he thought. Supposedly, a lot. But he payed no mind to such people, as they were probably hoping for more than they would get. Jing just wanted to be friends with Ichiro. He made him smile. Anyone that could do that, was more than okay in Jing's book.

Their conversation occupied time until they reached Jing's apartment, at what appeared, to most, to be the intersection of “Murder Avenue” and “Home Invasion Lane”. Ichiro toughed it out the whole way. This Waterbender earned some major points with Jing for that, since not many people would willingly go here if they had the choice not to. As they reached the steps to the wooden door with one bright light bulb next to it, Jing walked up the steps and turned back to Ichiro, “I'd just like to thank you again, you really did not have to risk yourself for little ol' me.” There was a sincere smile on Jing's face as he said it. “If you ever want to hang out or do something, you know where to find me.” His hand was on the door knob, but he still faced Ichiro waiting for his response.