Jin Ho handed over his coat and pulled his jumper off over his head, going to wring it out in Hoshi's kitchen sink. What difference would it make? He was cold with or without a shirt on. Hoshi asked what was wrong as she took his coat and he just laughed, shaking his head.

"I am an idiot, Hoshi," he said, squeezing rain water out of his jumper. "And I think I just had the worst day since... since I don't know when." Pulling the wet jumper back on over his head, he shivered a little. He felt cold from the inside out.

Not wanting to sit on his friend's furniture in wet clothing, Jin Ho paced a little, boots squishing. "So you know," he said, hands gesturing idly as he spoke, "how I got that new beat, and everything..." slowly the story began to spill out of him: going into The Serpent's Head, wanting to support the shops on his new route. He told her about seeing Mizu behind the bar and feeling compelled to sit down.

"I just, I don't know — you know I hadn't really... decided about all that stuff, but I just felt like I had to talk to him, you know?" Jin Ho toyed with the end of his long braid. "He has really pretty eyes..." Everything about the Waterbender was attractive to Jin Ho. He'd noticed the man's long fingers and shaggy hair and....

He told her about how Mizu had asked him to dinner and how obviously upsetting it was that it was so obvious, about his preferences, that someone who just met him could suss it out so quickly. Did she think his parents knew? What if they did? Why hadn't anyone said anything? Because of his nervous tendencies, Jin Ho was a little worked up, and it showed. Was it more upsetting that he'd been asked? Or was it more upsetting that he had so desperately wanted to say yes?

Before long Jin Ho told her about how he'd chanced upon Mizu again at the park, how it felt like fate, and how he'd taken the man to Hoshi's parents cafe. Mrs. Jeon had seen them together. "But it wasn't a date," he said quickly. "At first." It had rapidly turned into one, one that had quickly gone very far downhill as Mizu had asked about what kind of man Jin Ho was interested in.

"I mean, h-how do you even answer that?" the policeman asked his oldest friend, feeling confused. "I — I don't even know if I know the answer! What would you have said? What kind of man are you interested in?" Jin Ho ran his hands over the top of his hair. Of course, it went without saying that part of the emotional burden of all this was the simple fact that Jin Ho was mostly convinced that he would be alone forever. That wasn't helping at all.

Jin Ho wrapped his hands around the mug, sitting on his friend's sofa as told. Already he felt warmer, his heart cheered by Hoshi's presence. He closed his eyes and breathed in the steam from the tea. She always knew how to fix things. The herbal scent of the tea was calming and he had no doubt the beverage would be the same. Ever since the accident, Hoshi had always kept that type of tea on hand.

Her answers about what kind of man she'd like sounded, to Jin Ho, perfect. Someone kind and strong and cheerful. That was kind of man Hoshi deserved — Jin Ho had yet to meet anyone who could possibly hope to be good enough for her. Hoshi was like a princess. Every man Jin Ho had ever met was just... she was just out of their league. Every single one of them. He knew someday she'd find someone she cared for, but as for him... Jin Ho thought he might never think anyone could deserve her.

"I said," he began, after she had finished, "that I... would want someone Sweeper liked. And I ... want someone to come home to, somebody that would... you know, comfort me when I have nightmares or not mind staying at home and doing nothing because they just enjoy my company, or just...." the young man sighed and set his mug down, flopping over to rest his head in Hoshi's lap. "Your answers were so much better than mine."

She was the only person besides his parents who had ever touched his hair.

"I guess it's stupid stuff. I don't know." Jin Ho closed his eyes, burrowing his face against his oldest friend. "Who am I kidding? I don't know anything about love, do I?" He couldn't possibly know what he'd want. He had nothing to base it on. Kissing one boy when he was nineteen was not a basis for knowing about romance. "He ran away. That's what happened."

The metalbender told his oldest friend about how Mizu had just... frozen up at the talk of love and after asking what kind of man Jin Ho would want, the Waterbender had basically run away. Jin Ho had completely scared him off, because Jin Ho was stupid, and he couldn't lie. All he could do was be honest, and that hadn't gotten him anywhere. It was little wonder though, right? Because Jin Ho was sure that a man like that would likely not be interested in someone as nervous and inexperienced as himself.

He sighed softly again, winding his fingers around hers. "I love you," he said, feeling the muscles in his back relax.

"Yeah, you know, ran away. Because I'm socially awkward and weird, or whatever." Jin Ho laughed a little more, this time less bitterly. It felt better, sharing it with Hoshi. It mattered less. At least he would always have her.

Well. He would until she found someone who probably wouldn't be good enough for her but that she would want to marry anyway. Then... Jin Ho would just have to buy a lot of cats. He could see it now, his life as an elderly retired man, living in his small flat surrounded by cats and pictures of his friends' children because he didn't have any of his own. Besides the cats.

So many cats.

Not for the first time, Jin Ho found himself desperately wishing he were attracted to women. Their lives could have been so perfect by now — married, children, owning the teahouse and living together. He knew that he and Hoshi would have made a perfect match but for one thing: she wasn't a man. Or maybe that should be framed to say 'but for one thing: he didn't like women'. Jin Ho knew whose fault it all was.

When she asked about ordering from Narook's, he shook his head. "You go on and get something for you," said the policeman, "but it's not in my budget this time." Turning his head a little, he pressed a kiss into her palm. "Thanks. I'll get off you now and dry off some, okay? I don't want to soak your sofa."

Getting up, Jin Ho wrapped the towel around his long braid and squeezed it a little to get some of the water out. Sometimes he had a pair of clothes at Hoshi's house, but he couldn't remember if he had any now. At the very least he removed his boots and set them by the radiator to dry. "I'm fine with the tea," he said. And as for Mizu...

Jin Ho shook his head. "We don't have to talk about him," he said. "Really. I guess I should be like you and have standards, right? And any man who asks me a question like that but then runs away when he gets the answer isn't right for me, right?" That seemed like the kind of thing Hoshi would say. Truthfully Jin Ho was loathe to think that it was anything but his own fault, but Hoshi was a fiery girl with fiery thoughts, and he knew how to appeal to her.

"We can talk about anything else," he said.

Ugh. Sometimes it was hard to have someone know you so well. Of course Jin Ho wanted to see him again. He wanted to see quite a bit more of him, double entendre and all. He bit his lower lip for a moment and waited as Hoshi ordered the food.

Noodles did sound good. He could certainly eat. Mrs. Jeon was always saying he was 'too thin' — even though in reality Jin Ho was a very average-slim for his profession. The officer followed his friend into her room, gratefully accepting the trousers and sleeveless shirt. Dry clothes would be good.

Jin Ho peeled off his shirt, which was still quite wet, and gingerly set it on the radiator for a moment. The sleeveless top went on, pulled quickly over his head, and he shivered a bit. Goosebumps broke out over his skin as he picked up the shirt and stepped into the other room to change trousers. All his wet things got hung in the bathroom to dry, and he sat down again to unpick his braid and sort his hair out.

Jin Ho had long hair like his father. Thick and black like India ink, it nearly reached his waist when the braid was all unravelled. Making a face, the man pulled fingers through the wet, snaky waves. "Yuck. Rain water feels disgusting." It always made his hair feel dirty. This meant, of course, that he'd have to wash it off-schedule. Why hadn't he used some sort of rain gear? Stupid Jin Ho!

As he gently squeezed more water out of his hair, Jin Ho looked back up at Hoshi. "You're right, you know," he said. "As usual. About Mizu, I mean — I do want to see him again." He bit his lip again, green eyes bright. "I feel so stupid, though. I am clearly not prepared for dating. At all."

What would he do if someone asked him to take a cab somewhere? What if Mizu met him again and wanted to? He'd have to freak the man out all over again, explaining the accident and his stupid fear of vehicles and the dreaming... Jin Ho didn't want to do any of that. He wanted to lie in bed with someone stroking his hair and holding him close. Was that a lot to ask?

It felt like a lot to ask. Jin Ho sighed. "I'm going to be an old cat person," he said to Hoshi, with conviction.

"Don't be silly," said Jin Ho, pushing the comb away. "You know I won't use someone else's comb in my hair." There was a very specific set of behaviours and rituals that went with hair in the Park family — it was cut at specific times, combed in specific ways, and the touching of it was an extremely intimate act. Jin Ho would never dream of using anyone else's comb in his hair, not even Hoshi's.

"But the important thing is that you try. Maybe they call it falling in love because it hurts, yeah? ... That's something my mother told me once."

The young policeman wasn't really so sure about that. "Actually," he said, "I kind of think that it might be better if I just stayed alone. Then no one would get hurt — not me, not my parents. Not you." He smiled a little. The knock on the door got his full attention immediately and he turned, but it was only the food. So he was a little on edge! He needed to relax.

"They're good," he said, as he noticed Hoshi inspecting the vegetables. "I promise. I don't know what they are, but they're good." He got the cups as she asked and chuckled as she stated her plan to try to figure out how to keep him from being an old cat person forever.

"It's okay." Jin Ho sat down, passing food back and forth with Hoshi. It did smell amazing. Food always helped, at least a little. Because he ran miles every morning and did his beat on foot, Jin Ho tended to burn through calories very quickly... and so he was always willing to replace them. Stretching, he brought his arms up over his head and his spine made a cracking sound. The young man made a face. "I'm getting old."

The two of them began to eat, and Jin Ho made funny faces with his vegetables on top of the plate of rice. Clearly, he had begun to cheer up. "I just thought he was really... pretty, you know?" he said suddenly, looking down at the smiling pickles. "I haven't really ever seen someone that I wanted to get to... know, so much." Well, and someone that he would like to see with so much less clothing on, but he didn't want to say that. It was a little embarrassing. But it was also completely true!

"Why is it that I'm really great at making friends," Jin Ho asked, "but really terrible at everything else?"

Jin Ho ate the smiley face and made a new shape, hearts this time.

Now, do you know anything about him, like does he have a family name, or a place of business?

"He's a bartender at one of the places on my beat," the man said. As for his surname, he had no idea. That was easy to find out, though, especially since he'd seen Nakura-ssi coming out of the bar. Likely he could just ask his fellow officer. In fact, that's what he should likely do... when Hoshi suggested inviting him out, Jin Ho nodded. "I could do that. It's not a bad idea. Although if we go somewhere public, my parents will hear of it..."

Not that they didn't have to figure it out eventually. When Hoshi offered Arena tickets, the metalbender shook his head.

"Oh, you know I don't care for the Arena," said Jin Ho, waving the suggestion off. It was so packed with people it sometimes made him a bit nervous. He liked to listen to the matches on the radio. Besides, any time he was at the Arena he just felt like he should be working. So many people in one place made for easy crime targets. He was never able to relax.

Chewing on his noodles, he felt more of the knots in his shoulders relax. Ahh, but coming to Hoshi's apartment was always a great idea. He loved her, he truly did. Everything seemed much more clear with her around. It had always been that way. Even as children, Hoshi had always been his little trailblazer, the courageous one. While Jin Ho was prone to following rules and working himself up, Hoshi easily cut through problems and knew not only her own mind, but the minds of others as well. She was a beacon for him.

Smiling fondly, he ruffled her hair. "Thank you," he said, voice genuinely warm. "You know. For everything. You're my shooting star."

He ended up falling asleep on her sofa, hair poured like ink over the side.

———-

Two days later, Jin Ho called Hoshi in a frantic panic, telling her he had taken her advice and asked Mizu to dinner — well, technically, Mizu had asked him first, but he was going to — and they were going out that night and could he come over because he was freaking out? When he finally paused to breathe, he realized that he had just spilled out word-vomit, and laughed.

"Sorry. Can I come over?" He sounded buoyant and nervous all at the same time.

"No of course I'm not in uniform, I traded — " Jin Ho stopped talking and let Hoshi tell him to come over. He was already showered, of course, smelling like sandalwood. When he arrived on his friend's doorstep, the off-duty policeman was wearing a high-collared forest green undershirt and black trousers. His jacket was an almost black shade of green with warm gold buttons and trim, carefully mended but showing some wear. He'd had it for years and usually wore the sleeves rolled up in mild weather. The same went for his black boots, which were close to knee-high and laced up the front.

After careful consideration, the young man had chosen a warm, earthy-herbal oil to add to his normal plain hair oil. It all got combed through before he braided it into a flat and somewhat complex five-strand braid, different from the normal and plain three-strand he usually used. In short, he looked like he had made an effort.

But not too much of an effort. After all, Jin Ho wasn't the type to own a lot of expensive or fancy clothing. He just had what he had.

When Hoshi opened the door, Jin Ho was indeed smiling. His eyes were sparkling with anticipation, cheeks flushed. "Hi!" he said. He had walked, of course. Jin Ho never ever ever took a car. Not since the accident.

As they both went inside, he told her about how he'd seen Mizu while working. "He asked to see me," Jin Ho explained as Hoshi made tea, "and then he actually apologized?" Which, to be honest, the Metalbender didn't understand. Mizu hadn't done anything wrong, at least, not in Jin Ho's mind. "Anyway, he asked if I wanted to try again. So..."

Cupping long fingers around the teacup, Jin Ho paused. "Well, I thought I would see if it was worth it? Because, you know, my feelings were hurt before. Still kind of are." Understatement. Hi, Jin Ho, king of the understatement. My feelings were hurt? Really?

"So... soIkissedhim," he said, words rushing out quickly and blurring together. He blushed. "And..." just thinking about it gave him a fluttering feeling in his stomach. It was perfect. Everything he'd ever imagined. "It was amazing. So I said I'd go. To dinner." He paused for a moment. "You're always saying I should take the initiative... right? So I followed your advice."

What happened?

"Well... he asked to see me privately and I agreed. So we went to the back? And then he asked if I wanted to try again. I don't know what came over me." Jin Ho laughed a little, almost looking embarrassed. "I just felt compelled to kiss him, I guess. I thought it there weren't any sparks, I could just leave it at that. You know?" He took a sip of his tea, rolling the liquid on his tongue. It was good.

"I guess I just sort of um, grabbed him. And kissed him. But not — not, you know, some intense kind of... there wasn't any, any... inappropriate action..." he was flushed again, flustered. He had been on duty, so of course there hadn't been any groping or otherwise intimate contact. It was a simple kiss! Nothing more!

Except emotionally. It was definitely more emotionally than he had planned. "I felt like I couldn't breathe when it was over. Is that normal?" The young man laughed. "So yes, I'm nervous. But I'm always nervous, aren't I?" Nervous and second-guessing. That was Jin Ho.

But he did always want to please people so much. He tried very hard. As he fingered the end of his braid, he sighed. "I don't want to know what to say, exactly. Just that... what should I not do?" He tapped a finger on the table.

Hoshi was always so put-together. Of course she'd know, right? "I guess I just want to make sure I don't screw it up. What if he.. I don't know, what if he asks me to get into a car?" The man's clear green eyes went wide, horrified by the thought. Not for sex, love, or money, would Jin Ho Park ever get into a car. Not ever again.

"Or — or what if I do something totally stupid? Or what if he wants to sleep with me on the first date?!" Because Jin Ho would never do that! And how would he possibly react to such a thing? It was all so mortifying.

"Oh god," he moaned, setting the cup down. Slumping forward, Jin Ho dropped his head onto crossed arms. "I so can't do this."

“Just go with the flow,” Jin Ho repeated. He paused for a minute. Who was she kidding? “Who do you think you’re talking to, again?” he asked, and then laughed. He was so not good at ‘going with the flow’. But she had a good point – he needed to be himself. Jin Ho was not very good at lying, never had been. Honesty was the best policy. Mostly.

Tell him no, if you don’t want to do that

“Okay, well, obviously,” the young man said, “but you make it sound ridiculously simple, Hoshi. What if I do want to? Just what if I want to… later? Or something?” Mizu was ridiculously attractive, and it would be impossible for Jin Ho to say he didn’t want to sleep with him. He was a red-blooded man, after all. He had manly needs.

Or something.

You’ll regret it forever if you don’t, Hoshi said, and Jin Ho knew that as usual, she was absolutely right. He would regret it if he didn’t go through with it. And he had been inordinately excited all day! And that five-stranded-braid wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, either. If only for the sake of his painstaking hairstyle, he had to go through with this date.

There was no guarantee it would go so badly, anyway. Jin Ho always thought of the worst-case scenario first, but the other options were still there. They might have a wonderful time. Mizu might be the sweetest, nicest guy Jin Ho had ever met. They might end up really liking each other, having a relationship. Closing the door to such possibilities would be a huge mistake. Jin Ho was lonely… had been lonely for a long time. Shouldn’t he make the best of this opportunity?

Nodding, he sat back up and calmly sipped his tea. “It’s going to be great,” he said with conviction. The same thing had happened before his final tests for the police academy. He’d been extraordinarily nervous, talked through it, and then passed them all with flying colours. The only person Jin Ho really needed to convince was himself.

Smiling, he toyed with the end of his braid. “Thank you.” Eyeing his oldest friend, he smiled a little. “What are we going to do when you start going on dates? You know I’ll never think anyone could possibly be worthy of you. Am I to have interviews with them all, extolling your virtues and demanding to know their intentions?”

Actually, that wasn’t a bad idea…