Now that he'd heard Jin Ho say it, he knew one hundred percent that what he'd thought was true. Maybe not everyone knew how the policeman was different, but it seemed like Mrs. Jeon did but still tried to fix him up with her daughter anyway. It seemed cosmically funny, but sad.

He ate his food and sipped tea, taking it all in.

"I see." As he slurped a few udon noodles, he could feel something start to dawn on him. If he went back over everything he'd heard, he'd probably find it.

My parents...

They were all really disappointed...

...and then it dawned on him.

His parents.

He closed his eyes as he let out a sigh, letting it sink in. He knew why now, and he could feel a pang in his chest. Knowing what he knew now, the apathetic stupor was setting in. There was absolutely no point in playing the game now, because there would be no victory or defeat in it; just deadlock.

Wolfing his gyoza down, he toyed with the remaining noodles in his bowl, not looking at the other man.

"I...I think I should go." He didn't want to go by any means, but the deadlock was lessening the worth of staying.

The Lotus Cafe

[/center]

I think I should go.

Jin Ho looked up with a start, and without thinking, protested. "No!" He flushed, wrapping slim fingers around his cup. "Um, that is — I — I'm having a nice time. Aren't you?" Sweeper whined and made whisking sounds on the floor with his tail.

The thought of Mizu leaving had provoked a very swift emotional response, Jin Ho realized. If that was the case, was it really worth it to deny himself yet again? Over the last nine years, every time he'd found himself attracted to someone, he'd pushed them away. He'd done everything right: got through the police academy, got his own place, worked a steady job, made good friends, paid his bills, and contributed to his aging parents' retirement income.

Would it be so wrong, for once, to be a little selfish? Jin Ho bit his lower lip for a second. "Look," he said finally, "I'm off all day. Are you?" He glanced over his shoulder, pausing for a moment as he made up his mind.

It's okay to ask for something every once in a while. Isn't it?

He turned back to Mizu, green eyes hopeful but also a little shy. "Do you want to get out of here?"

With that, he was tripped up yet again; he only had giving up on the game to blame for that. Call him crazy, but was that "No!" a little more forceful than it should have been? His eyes were probably sparkling as he (yet again) regarded the cop?

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Actually, yes. I am." The dog whining was cute; maybe Sweeper and Jin had more in common than he'd thought. The muscles in his arms tensed as he returned to a more relaxed position in his seat.

He took another sip of tea and brought his attention to Sweeper. For a fleeting moment, they looked eyes and though Mizu never said anything, the dog licked Jin Ho's hand. It was one of those moments that made him actually happy to be alive and around people; then, Jin Ho said something that figuratively knocked him on his feet.

Do you want to get out of here?

Was he hearing things? Had he finally lost it? In the seconds following, he entertained the notion that he really had gone crazy and this was all in his head; when he stopped being ridiculous, he took a deep breath.

"Yes. I know the perfect place, but I won't tell you where. Are you in?"

He crossed his fingers under the table. He knew it took a lot to go somewhere you didn't know with someone you barely knew, but if Jin Ho was willing to offer, there might be a chance.

Game on.

The Lotus Cafe

[/center]

The "no" had been, indeed, quite forceful. Jin Ho almost regretted it for a moment, but when Mizu's eyes sparkled like that, he was flooded with joy that he hadn't. Sweeper licked his hand and whined a little more, clearly keen on the Waterbender.

Jin Ho didn't blame the dog at all. He ruffled the fur behind Sweeper's ears as Mizu suggested an idea of a place to go — but then playfully suggested keeping it a secret.

"Uh--" Jin Ho's mind sadly took that to a very intimate level and he flushed. No way he was ready for something like that! That would take a while to think about! Which, he'd think about it... more than he should, really. "I — that really depends on where it is," he said, "because... because..."

Because I'm stupid and shy, that's why.

Sweeper pushed his nose and his Human's hand and Jin Ho jumped a little. It was cold! He laughed. "Yeah," he said, a moment later. He'd started this, so he had to finish it. Right? "Sure, okay. Can Sweeper come too?" The dog wagged his tails. He hoped so! He liked to go places! Places with new smells and nice humans!

The new human was so nice. And His Human needed a friend, didn't he?

Mizu couldn't breathe. Was he saying yes or no? Either way, he was prepared, but he held his breath until Jin Ho finally agreed. This was amazing! Did he seriously just do that? For a brief second, he entertained the notion that last night's rejection drove him insane and he was imagining all of this, but when that second passed, he started thinking about what they needed to do next.

"Okay." He couldn't help but smile. "Of course Sweeper can come." The dog seemed to love hearing its name. He slid some money onto the table.

"You said you'd buy me tea. This is for the food." He got up and waited for everything to get taken care of before leaving, and soon, he was leading the way to a door much like his apartment building's: unmarked and barely noticeable. He knocked and when it opened, it revealed a barely-lit hallway. This was one of his favorite places to go, and he hoped Jin Ho would like it as well. If he was worried about anyone seeing them together, he didn't have to...very much.

(Sorry for the shortie. I couldn't do it in one sitting.)

The Lotus Cafe and Onward to an As Yet Undisclosed Location

[/center]

Sweeper did indeed love hearing his name. He also loved eating People foods, chasing balls, playing in the park, and fire ferrets. He wagged his tail hopefully. Nice human? Nice places? Fun playing?

It was very good of Mizu to pay for his food. He didn't want to, but Jin Ho decided to allow it. He paid Mrs. Jeon for their tea and his tteokbokki, mostly by tipping her a very large amount and kissing her cheek.
"I hope you're happy," she murmured, giving him a hug.
"Mrs. Jeon," said Jin Ho hopelessly, "I'm always happy when I come visit you."
She patted his cheek. The old woman viewed him as her son, married to her daughter or not. She always would.
"You're a good boy, Jin Ho."

Sweeper obediently waited to be told to come before getting up off the floor — and he got up slowly, his old hip a little achey. Poor thing. Jin Ho waited for his dog, loosely clipping the leash on. He knew Sweeper didn't have that many years left in his life, though he tried not to think about it. The dog was his very best friend in the whole, wide world.

He and Sweeper casually followed Mizu out of the cheerful Lotus Cafe and into the streets. Jin Ho waved at a few people here and there, genial and friendly. Just out for a walk, right? Of course!

When Mizu knocked on an unmarked door and led him into a barely-lit hallway, though, the policeman got a bit concerned. Mizu did remember his occupation, right? He wouldn't take him somewhere suspect, right? Because if he did, Jin Ho had his duty... he'd have to report it. And that would ruin everything most likely. The young man took a closer grip on Sweeper's leash, though the dog didn't seem concerned in the least.

There were stairs leading straight from the door, which the Waterbender went down before him. Jin Ho followed trepidation, now second-guessing his agreement to come. The stairs led them into a room with one shuttered window in the back. There wasn't a soul in sight as far as Jin Ho could tell. The whole place was not very well lit, so he supposed there could have been someone in the shadows.

Mizu had taken Jin Ho and Sweeper to The Den, a very small, not well-known, lounge. It was one of his favorite places in the city, and when he thought about it, he went. He had absolutely no idea how the place stayed in business.

The place was dimly-lit, with nine tables arranged in rows of three; there were two high-backed chairs at each table. The air was silently whispering, but nothing could be heard. As soon as he got to the bottom of the stairs, he picked up a silver bell resting on a small table and rang it, leading Jin Ho to a seat after the clear tone rang through the room. As soon as they were seated, an elegantly-dressed man came through the door in the back, going straight to their table.

"Mr. Katashi, it's been a while." The man had pale skin, squinted eyes, and wrinkles, along with a long, thin mustache.

"It has, Mr. Ori. Plum rose wine, please."

"Very good." Ori backed away from their table and vanished.

"So, what do you think? I've been here a few times, but nobody else I know has." He clasped his fingers and rested his hands on the table, hoping their conversation would take a more interesting turn now that Mrs. Jeon wasn't hovering around.

The Den

[/center]

Jin Ho tried to relax a little. Really he did. Sweeper picked up on his Human's nervousness and whined again. The place was small but clean, lit dimly but not uncomfortable. There wasn't a single other person in the whole room except for the wrinkled man who appeared when Mizu rang a bell.

Mr. Katashi

Ah, so Mizu was the man's first name? That was interesting. Jin Ho's family's surname was rarely if ever used — Jin Ho was his first name. He asked for plain water in contrast to Mizu's wine. The policeman wasn't much of a drinker. The dog laid his head in his Human's lap and let out a long, wuffling sigh.

"Uh — can my dog have some water, too?" he asked.

When Mizu asked what he thought about the place, Jin Ho looked around. "It seems quiet," he said, "which is nice." He realized, suddenly, that Mizu had done him a huge favour. He'd taken him somewhere private. Somewhere no one would see them. And yet, it was also somewhere still 'in public', somewhere safe. The man's green eyes seemed to glow a little with appreciation.

"Actually, I love it." Sweeper sighed again. Jin Ho leaned his chin in one hand and regarded the man across from him intently. "How did you find this place, then?" He busied his other hand with slowly stroking the bridge of Sweeper's nose. It was something that always relaxed the animal, and as usual, it worked quickly. The dog was soon very quiet, the only sound he made the thumping of his fluffy tail on the floor.

"Thank you for realizing," Jin Ho said after a moment, "the kind of place I'd want to go."

Water? Really? He had ordered the wine for both of them, but that seemed like a trivial thing to get upset over. He let out a small sigh, hands still resting on the table.

Jin Ho seemed more at ease here than anywhere, and he knew why. The Café was out of the question because of Mrs. Jeon, the park was just an embarassment now; the Den, however, was perfect...for Jin Ho. He would have preferred the Serpent's Head, but they ran the risk of running into that jerk Nakura. That would ruin everything.

"I found it when I first started working at the bar. You think a place this exclusive would have more of the rich and famous crowd, but nobody who hasn't been here doesn't know about it. I've got credit here since Mr. Ori knows my boss."

A long time ago, when he was somewhat more naíve, he got drunk at the Golden Fan and was taken by a strange man to the Den. They'd ended up sleeping together and it turned out to be a huge mistake, but this was an oasis and safehouse in an otherwise chaotic city for him. Rumor had it that Mr. Ori was involved with one of the Triads, but he hadn't seen or heard anything to confirm or disprove that. For now, he'd keep coming here, mob involvement or not.

"So, what's the story with your parents? Isn't that the real reason why you didn't let me take you out to dinner? Is that why you're so comfortable here?" He sat back in his chair, but their conversation was interrupted by Mr. Ori reappearing out of nowhere. The man set two glasses down on the table, then set a bowl of water on the floor.

The Den

[/center]

"It seems really nice," Jin Ho said. He hadn't known of the place, so Mizu was right. The cop did wonder about whether or not the place had gang connections — it seemed likely such an underground place did. He seemed to relax a little, but immediately tensed back up when Mizu asked him about his parents.

Of course it was the real reason he had said no before, and why he liked this place so much. Of course, the way Mizu said it made Jin Ho feel about ten inches high. He opened his mouth to reply but shut it quickly again when Mr. Ori came back, making no move to speak until the man was gone.

Sweeper attacked the bowl of water happily, tail beating against Mizu's chair leg. Jin Ho sighed.

"Yes," he said softly, "that's why. And I'm sure it sounds really... stupid, to you, and I — I'm sorry." He felt so guilty and uncomfortable all of a sudden, as if he were doing something wrong. Was it wrong to want to avoid upsetting his parents? No.

But was it wrong to keep someone else a secret? Yes. It was. And Jin Ho knew that part of the reason he'd never had a boyfriend before was because he wouldn't be able to keep them a secret. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. He would have to... "come out"... to his parents, if he got into a relationship with someone. Jin Ho toyed with the end of his braid.

"My parents... don't really approve of uh, same-sex relationships. And I'm their only child, so they're hoping I'll marry some nice girl and sire a pack of grandchildren, or something." He was really uncomfortable with the whole idea. "They're getting up in years these days, and I just — I don't want to disappoint them." He looked at his hands. "I know it sounds stupid but I've always hoped they'll be proud of me. I didn't want to hurt them by having them hear I was out with someone. So I never — I've actually um, never really dated... anyone."

He looked up hesitantly, trying to gauge Mizu's reaction before continuing. "I guess I realized a while ago that if I start dating, I have to "come out", because keeping someone a secret would be wrong. And I would never ask anyone to bear something like that." Jin Ho looked back down at his hands. "It just seems so selfish." He fully expected Mizu would tell him how stupid he was and that he didn't want to deal with such issues.

And he wouldn't blame the man at all.

Mizu listened to every word Jin Ho said, making sure he didn't miss a syllable, sipping his wine as he did so.

Jin Ho was denying himself happiness as the cost of keeping his parents happy? In what twisted universe was this a smart plan? In his entire life, the Waterbender had bent over backwards to make sure that everything he did ensured some small bit of contentment with life, even when said things were against the law. It was how he worked, but apparently, not Jin Ho.

By the time the Metalbender finished speaking, he was at a loss for words. Not only was Jin Ho denying himself happiness to please his parents, but to spare anyone he might want to be with? He had to swallow a lump in his throat. How could he even respond to that?

He took another sip of wine. "I get it." He made sure that there was no more wine left in his cup before he continued with a slightly hoarse voice.

"When I was young, my parents kept pushing me to become a Waterbending Master. They even hired a tutor for me, but they were so disappointed once they couldn't afford to keep paying for lessons. They thought they failed as parents, but they turned it into me failing as their son. I couldn't deal with that, so I left."

Without being called, Mr. Ori appeared and refilled his drink, leaving a carafe at the table so he could pour his own.

"It's not stupid, though. I don't mean offense to you by this, but your parents are stupid for not realizing that their son isn't happy because of what they want."

He crossed his fingers yet again under the table.

The Den

[/center]

Well, Jin Ho had never claimed it was a smart plan. He just felt so guilty, and he felt like he owed his parents for bringing him into the world, raising him well, providing him a home. But at the same time, it was miserable to be lonely. Most of the time he was okay alone, but the policeman had to admit that he wanted someone to come home to.

Besides Sweeper. The dog was lying on the floor, looking half-asleep.

As Mizu relayed his story of being a failure to his parents, Jin Ho nodded. That was his biggest fear. “I’m not sure how I’ll deal with it,” he said, “whenever I have to tell my parents.” His dad would likely be all right with it, but his mother… giving up the hope of grandbabies would hit her hard.

Man. Conversations like this were really nerve-wracking. Jin Ho glanced at the carafe and drank the last of his water, refilling the glass with wine instead. He hated to drink so early in the day but by this point, he almost felt like he needed it.

It's not stupid, though. I don't mean offense to you by this, but your parents are stupid for not realizing that their son isn't happy because of what they want

The young man smiled softly, eyes a warm green. “Don’t talk about my parents like that,” he said, but then laughed a little. “Even though you’re right. But I guess it’s not really their fault, is it? I never told them I was unhappy.” And, for the most part, he wasn’t. Unhappy, that is. He liked his job, and his apartment. Leaning his chin in his hand, Jin Ho looked off to the side.

“I always figured that I would either… meet someone and just, fall in love, I guess, to the point where it didn’t matter to me anymore? Or else I’d just be alone forever.” How depressing. But Jin Ho was a romantic. He had never planned to casually date around, and he certainly didn’t want to break his parents’ hearts over a relationship that wouldn’t even last! How foolish he’d feel if he had to tell them he’d broken up with the person. They’d be proven right, wouldn’t they? He sighed.

“I think falling in love would be really great.”

With unnecessary flash, Mizu rotated his wrist, allowing his hand to perform the motions that lifted wine from the carafe and sent it slithering to refill his cup. Waterbending had its advantages sometimes, but he doubted his parents and former tutor would be as impressed that his "art" facilitated his drinking habit. He took a drink.

"My apologies." He couldn't help but smile when Jin Ho didn't get mad at him for speaking of his parents in such a manner, but he felt a pang in his chest when it became apparent that the cop was convinced that it was still his fault somehow.

"Falling in love would be nice." He failed to mention that he never really entertained the concept himself. "But you shouldn't have to tell them that you're unhappy. I thought that whole fiasco with Hoshi would have tipped them off." He drained his glass down to half and continued.

"Then again, if someone wants something badly enough, they can lose sight of what's really going on. I suppose you have to make your own happiness in this city."

Now that he was thinking about it, love had never really crossed his mind. Oh, he thought he was in love on a few occasions, but feelings could be very, very deceptive. Perhaps he'd subconsciously abandoned the idea long ago, but he couldn't be sure. He never really thought about it.

"So...what kind of man would be able to make something like disappointing your parents not matter?" He emptied and refilled his glass, waiting for a response.

The Dun

[/center]

"Well," said Jin Ho, "to be fair, they're not exactly clear on everything that went on between us. Hoshi and me, I mean. We both agreed not to go into too much detail with the parents about it." It had been one of those things where they'd grown up together, and Hoshi had really liked Jin Ho — so he took her on a few dates, but when the time came that they were alone in a bedroom...

Well, it hadn't gone very well. And that's when Hoshi had so bluntly pointed out that Jin Ho liked guys, right? She'd known it all along, and had maybe just hoped it wasn't true. She was a good friend now, a very good friend. But that was it. Maybe more like a sister.

Then again, if someone wants something badly enough, they can lose sight of what's really going on.

Wasn't that the truth! Jin Ho laughed a little. "Yes, I guess so. Especially when it comes to their children, many parents simply see what they wish to see." When Mizu asked about what kind of person would make it worth disappointing his parents... Jin Ho hesitated.

He knew that he was more 'romantic' than a lot of other people. What if Mizu just merely found him amusing? The policeman looked down at his dog, chewing his lower lip for a moment.

"I think love is really complicated," he said quietly, deciding as usual that honesty was the best policy. "I think you can start out with that infatuated love feeling, you know — but after that, real love kind of... deepens. And you make a choice to stay with a person, even if sometimes you might not feel like it." Jin Ho rested his chin in his hand. "So I guess whatever person would probably understand that? I don't really have a list of things that are my perfect type of guy."

Sweeper shoved his nose into Jin Ho's lap and the cop jumped a little before laughing and petting him behind the ears. "Obviously Sweeper would like them. He's a great judge of character." The dog lolled his tongue out the side of his mouth and seemed satisfied. "And I guess somebody who didn't, you know, beat me or something, that would be a good start." He'd been on a lot of domestic violence calls lately. That kind of thing was so sad and disturbing to Jin Ho. "And, I don't know. I guess I want someone to come home to, somebody that would... you know, comfort me when I have nightmares or not mind staying at home and doing nothing because they just enjoy my company, or just...." the young man shrugged. "I don't know. Somebody that wouldn't care that I don't have a lot of experience?"

He glanced at Mizu. "What about you? Do you even believe in falling in love? I'm pretty sure it's kind of old-fashioned."

Mizu lifted his eyebrows; things made more sense now. Of course his parents would keep pushing a wife and children on him if they hadn't known how badly things went with Hoshi! He was starting to suspect that Jin Ho's misery could be chalked up to a mere miscommunication and stubborn parents. That would be a hard combination to overcome from anyone.

As Jin Ho spoke of what he'd prefer in a man, he couldn't help but see if he met those qualifications. Sweeper liked him, he knew this for sure, but he wasn't too sure about the others. He hadn't had to do any of that with/for a man before, but...

WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

Why in the world was he even THINKING about how he qualified to be Jin Ho's boyfriend? He was getting too far ahead of himself, and that would end in nothing but disaster; for both of them. He took a moment to breathe and then brought himself back to their conversation.

"Me?" He shrugged. "I don't know. I've never been in love, but that doesn't mean that it couldn't happen, I guess." He took a drink of wine and set his glass on the table. "I--"

He stopped when he realized that he had nothing to follow that up with. Perhaps if he was someone else, he might have followed that up with something like "...would like a man who's...," but he didn't. He couldn't.

He was certain that he looked like someone had just struck him across the face, and he downed the rest of the wine in his glass, quickly following it up with another. Suddenly, it seemed like that, if this conversation went on any longer, there wouldn't be any wine left.

The Den

[/center]

This was certainly the longest conversation like this Jin Ho had ever had with... anyone, really. He finished the wine in his glass quickly, setting it down. Sweeper let out a windy sigh and laid back down, flopping over the policeman's feet.

When Mizu said he didn't think he had ever been in love, Jin Ho nodded. Nervously, he toyed with the end of his braid again. Love was such a complicated topic, wasn't it? Just thinking about it made him sort of nervous. He didn't really think he'd ever find someone. It was nice to entertain thoughts of it, but deep down, Jin Ho was sort of sure he'd end up alone forever. Or something.

The Waterbender's face didn't seem pleased as he trailed off and didn't finish his sentence. Maybe Jin Ho shouldn't have asked such a question. He didn't want to upset the other man. He was still having a nice time, after all! "I'm sorry," said Jin Ho quickly, "I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?" He waved a hand. "You don't have to answer any more, it's okay. We can talk about something else if you want."

Well, great. Now he had sort of made a mess of things. The silence was a little unnerving. "Um.... I'm sorry. Sometimes I say things that should probably have stayed in my head." The metalbender smiled a little, hoping to smooth it all back over. "I'm sure I sound very silly saying stuff like that at my age. Right?"

Uncomfortable was an understatement. Though he didn't know it, Jin Ho had exposed a fundamental flaw in Mizu: the Waterbender had no idea whether or not he could love another human being. He registered everything Jin Ho was saying, but it was as if his body was on autopilot.

What else in his life could have been so important that he wouldn't even think about something that came down to a basic human need? Had he really given companionship and love in exchange for being able to do pretty much whatever he wanted?

Whatever fire was in his eyes before they came into the Den vanished without a trace, and his face lapsed into that of someone in a stupor.

"I...I need to go." He stood up, pushing his chair back. "I need to go." He turned around and made for the door, now completely on autopilot as he walked up the stairs and out the door. Though he was completely inside himself at the moment, he was somehow able to get to the sidewalk without running into everyone. A tear got past his clouded exterior and made its way down his cheek; almost as if taking a cue from the Waterbender, drops of rain started to patter down from the sky.

The Den

[/center]

Right, of course. Jin Ho saw the light in Mizu's eyes dull out. He recognized that he must have been disappointing. Perhaps Mizu had been expecting something else, a person more experienced or flirtatious. Perhaps he hadn't appreciated Jin Ho's honesty. Maybe honesty wasn't always the best policy. The young man tightened his hands in his lap, waiting for a response, not sure what he should do...

I need to go.

To Jin Ho, Mizu's words felt like a slap across the face. Was this what dating would be like, too? Painful and humiliating? If so, the young policeman was glad he'd never tried. Talking about such personal feelings and being instantly rejected was... horrible. Harsh. He took a breath. By now, he'd clenched his fist so hard that his knuckles were white.

"Oh. Well I —" he swallowed roughly, dropping the end of his braid. Now was the time to be polite, right? To force a smile and say thank you and go home. Jin Ho had been taught etiquette by his parents. He knew that this was the point in their meeting where he needed to be a gentleman and keep his hurt feelings firmly squashed. At least until he got out the door. So he forced a smile and stood up. "I'm glad you're not hurt, from before. Thank you. I..." it was a little hard to get out, "... had a nice time."

Sweeper whined but got up with Jin Ho and followed him out, waiting patiently as the young man bent to put on the leash. They walked home together in the rain, looking more than a little dejected. On a whim, Jin Ho stopped by to see Mrs. Jeon and get some tea before going home. She took one look at him and gave him genmaicha without a word. He attempted to pay for it, but she'd have none of that. The policeman took his tea home, where he hung up the wet clothes to dry and curled up in his chair, by the window.

Note to self, he thought, curling both hands around the warmth of the mug, don't ever try that again.