Post by scruffypuff on Jul 18, 2012 9:57:18 GMT -6
[Tag: Shuai Ru-shan]
“I, uh, shouldn’t have done that. Said it. Shouted it,” Xiaolu muttered, embarrassed more with her outburst than what she had said. Her father, on top of making her promise that she would not use her bending unless necessary, especially not against a nonbender (For the spirit’s sake, Xiaolu, I taught you how to break a man’s back with your bare hands! You don’t need your bending at every single scuffle!), made her promise to keep her nose clean. She wasn’t to go out of her way to defy the rest of the world. Sometimes, the world just went as it wished, and no amount of defiance was going to change that.
“You’re not going to be living in our town anymore,” he’d told her as she got ready to leave, gripping her hand in his tough, fire-scarred ones, chipped with age and missing a fingernail. “These people won’t spare you because you’re a child, or a girl, or give you favor because you’re a bender. If anything, that will just upset them more. You must promise you will never try to start a fight. The world is cruel and complicated, and I don’t expect you to understand it. Some things you just can’t fight. This is one of them…”
She needed to stop thinking about her father. She realized in her flare of pure, rageful emotion, she was beginning to cry. She knew it was the brutal mixture of homesickness, fear for her personal wellbeing, timidness in speaking to a complete stranger, her hate towards chi blockers, her terror of her oldest brother, and just tiredness. She was tired of being scared all the time, of jumping and shadows, readying herself for a fight every time she heard a motorbike putter, taking to buttoning her pockets shut to keep from getting pick pocketed.
Republic City was meant to be a place of freedom, opportunity, integrity and honor. As far as she could see, the only honorable thing she saw so far was that giant stone statue of Avatar Aang on the island.
“It’s gonna sound self-pitying… but it’s harder here than I thought it would be. I don’t know. Maybe I expected more—more tolerance, bigger city, whatever—but whatever I’ve gotten…” she shrugged and rubbed her arms like she was cold, but she wasn’t; the blush was still rising and she felt humiliated. “I don’t know. When you come here, you think it’s going to be smooth sailing. And suddenly, you’ve been chucked in to unagi-infested water, and you realize you don’t know how to swim, and then suddenly someone’s tied weights to you feet and it’s just…”
She was being depressing, and she fully well knew it, and she licked her lips and turned to Shuai. “I’ll tell you something, though, you seem to be doing pretty well. Are you living alone? Because if you are, that’s pretty admirable…”
She hoped she’d hadn’t scared Shuai off with her utter pessimism.
“I, uh, shouldn’t have done that. Said it. Shouted it,” Xiaolu muttered, embarrassed more with her outburst than what she had said. Her father, on top of making her promise that she would not use her bending unless necessary, especially not against a nonbender (For the spirit’s sake, Xiaolu, I taught you how to break a man’s back with your bare hands! You don’t need your bending at every single scuffle!), made her promise to keep her nose clean. She wasn’t to go out of her way to defy the rest of the world. Sometimes, the world just went as it wished, and no amount of defiance was going to change that.
“You’re not going to be living in our town anymore,” he’d told her as she got ready to leave, gripping her hand in his tough, fire-scarred ones, chipped with age and missing a fingernail. “These people won’t spare you because you’re a child, or a girl, or give you favor because you’re a bender. If anything, that will just upset them more. You must promise you will never try to start a fight. The world is cruel and complicated, and I don’t expect you to understand it. Some things you just can’t fight. This is one of them…”
She needed to stop thinking about her father. She realized in her flare of pure, rageful emotion, she was beginning to cry. She knew it was the brutal mixture of homesickness, fear for her personal wellbeing, timidness in speaking to a complete stranger, her hate towards chi blockers, her terror of her oldest brother, and just tiredness. She was tired of being scared all the time, of jumping and shadows, readying herself for a fight every time she heard a motorbike putter, taking to buttoning her pockets shut to keep from getting pick pocketed.
Republic City was meant to be a place of freedom, opportunity, integrity and honor. As far as she could see, the only honorable thing she saw so far was that giant stone statue of Avatar Aang on the island.
“It’s gonna sound self-pitying… but it’s harder here than I thought it would be. I don’t know. Maybe I expected more—more tolerance, bigger city, whatever—but whatever I’ve gotten…” she shrugged and rubbed her arms like she was cold, but she wasn’t; the blush was still rising and she felt humiliated. “I don’t know. When you come here, you think it’s going to be smooth sailing. And suddenly, you’ve been chucked in to unagi-infested water, and you realize you don’t know how to swim, and then suddenly someone’s tied weights to you feet and it’s just…”
She was being depressing, and she fully well knew it, and she licked her lips and turned to Shuai. “I’ll tell you something, though, you seem to be doing pretty well. Are you living alone? Because if you are, that’s pretty admirable…”
She hoped she’d hadn’t scared Shuai off with her utter pessimism.