Thanks for applying for Ursa. Now, let's see about your post. It's not accurate to the canon plot, but I wouldn't except you to know that. I do wonder how those people knew the Avatar was coming, though.

The first thing I noticed was that you said Ursa was twenty-nine. This would mean she had Zuko at twelve, seeing as how he's nearly seventeen. I find this highly unlikely. Seeing as how the age that a person becomes an adult is sixteen, she'd be at least thirty three, and that's if she got married and had Zuko before her seventeenth birthday.

The next thing that I think you need to work on is the description. You have a lot of NPC dialogue, and not enough of what's she's thinking or feeling. Personally, I would rewrite it as a monologue - which is what accepted canon apps usually are.

You got her two major relationships - Zuko and Azulon, but I would have liked to see more of Ozai, since we have an Ozia. I woudl have also liked to see little more about how being banished has affected her and her feelings of now being on the other side of the war. I would have also liked to see a bit more of her history. I know you don't know it from the show, but you're allowed artistic license here. I also don't see much of her appearance.

Also, you don't have the secret word in here. It's scattered letter-by-letter throughout the Rules and FAQ's, so you'll need that, too, before it's accepted.

You seem to have a good basis for Ursa, I just think you need more of it is all. I liked to see you re-write this using what I've said here. You can wait for someone else to respond. You need three out of four acceptances, but if I were you, I'd use what I said. You're free to wait, if you want, though, but I can almost guaratee they're going to agree with me.

Edit: One more thing... I also think that if Ursa had rushed at Azulon like that she wouldn't have just been banished. It's possible, though, but personally, I think she stuck up for Zuko and traded her life for his, and she was just banished. *shrugs*

I have to agree with Karena. Also, you seem to be forgetting her daughter, I'm sure that there is plenty of fertile writing material there along with the relationships stated above. I also doubt that she would be in Ba Sing Se, it sounded at least from Ozai's account that he knew where she was so that would probably be somewhere in the colonies, but whatever, like Karena says you have artistic freedom here. So yeah, I say try at it again.

I loved the dialogue between Azulon and Ursa by the way.

I like the point of view of Ursa after her banishment. However, I do agree with Karena and Shio before me - it doesn't really capture her. I see how she interacts with a few people, but there's too much NPCing for me to get a feel of whether or not you understand Ursa's character, or if you're just posting what you know of her from the show. Since Ursa's character wasn't explored very well, there's plenty to expand on from your personal view. What we know of Ursa is:

1. She loves Zuko, very much. Presumably the reason she was banished.
2. She loves Azula, but she thinks her daughter is a monster, which hurts her as a mother.
3. She loves Ozai, but is afraid of him to a certain extent.
4. She loved Azulon, and from her nervousness it indicates she may think that Ozai had something to do with his death.
5. She definitely has a voice; she may have been the 'proper' wife, but she had a strong sense of morality which she didn't let get buried by her 'duties'.


Anything other than that, you have freedom to play with her character as you wish - besides, she's been gone for ages, there's could be a great potential to develop her character so much.

In addition to what was already said, I have to point out that "Natasha" doesn't really catch me as a name that would fit into the A:tLA universe.

All that said, I think you definitely have the basis to make a good Ursa player. I definitely recommend reading our Current Plotline to catch up with where our forum is. I also recommend looking up a little more history about Ursa & her family, as well as doing a bit of research concerning Ancient Japanese & Chinese royalty traditions. =]

So for now, I think you need to try again, but you definitely have a very good start.

Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you. Remember this Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are...

Waking in a cold sweat, the banished former princess of the Fire Nation gripped her abdomen and exhaled slowly trying hard to ignore the pain that was emanating from her uterus. Yes, that was a rather odd place to ache, but as a mother no longer connected to her children, that was the only place she could ache. Moving her hands slowly from where she gripped herself, Ursa covered her gold eyes with her fingertips and tried to patiently calm herself down. This night was no different than any other. In fact, she was almost accustomed to the routine as if it were some ancient Fire Nation ritual. Slowly, she rubbed her eyes in order for the slight throbbing in her head to subside and once it did, she rolled over on her small cot in order to light her dingy, old lantern.

Once the warmth of the lamp relaxed her chilled veins, Ursa found the strength to turn toward the mirror even though she already knew what she was going to see. She cautiously opened her eyes and blinked a number of times before she allowed herself to sigh and shrug her tired shoulders. There was the same reflection before her, the same woman only now she was a couple of years older. Still, she had her black hair the same black hair that her children inherited. She also had her same amber eyes, although now they were a lot less bright and this she figured happened because she had lost a lot of hope. What was hope when there was nothing to hope for? What was hope when everything was taken from you? There was no hope, nothing to hope for since all she could see was a lonely middle-aged woman who prayed, not hoped, for change.

However, time had been kind to her and to her beauty. Even at thirty-five, she was still as elegant as she had been when she married Ozai all those years ago. Suddenly, the pain reappeared only this time it decided to attack her damaged heart. What was she to do now? With much effort, Ursa lifted herself from her cot and made her way toward the front door of the small house that she had accustomed herself to calling home.

This wasn’t her home. This poor excuse for a hut on the outskirts of some unknown Earth Kingdom village was not where she belonged. Sadly, Ursa understood that she also did not belong to where she hoped she could return. She left that life in order to protect her son, her own flesh and blood. She did it because even though she loved her husband and even though she knew her place among him and his father, she also understood that her first duty was to the safety and well being of her children, even her daughter, Azula. It hurt Ursa to think about her baby. She knew how much Azula prided herself and for years Ursa struggled with herself because she didn’t want to believe that her daughter, her baby, was turning into something she thought she once loved. Azula was Ozai and for a while Ursa tried to grapple with that idea and even now she found herself wondering if Azula had decided to choose that path.

“For spirit’s sake I hope not,” the poor woman cried as she settled herself down beneath a single tree that was on what she considered to be her property; her property. The combination of the two words was unsettling because the golden eyed beauty knew that she no longer had any possessions, or any that mattered. She couldn’t hold this tree, or kiss it when it became scared. No, she could only look at it, feel it and wish that it was something more. Sometimes beneath this tree she could see the images of her young son as he played carelessly on the Ember Island breeze. She could hear his laughter and sometimes she could even hear the steady breathing and see the rising and falling of her husband’s chest as he laid next to her asleep, dreaming of things she wished she could have seen coming.

It was quiet here and Ursa was desperate for news, anything that could pull her out of her deep depression. She knew nothing of the war and it worried her because now she didn’t have the palace to mask all of the death and all of the grief. She knew Ozai didn’t start the war, but she wished he would end it. If he did could she return to her children? She wanted to know of her son, her daughter and even Iroh, her husband’s kind old brother who after all these years she wished to share another cup of tea with. Of all the people she loved Ursa knew that Iroh was the most special because to an extent they were almost alike. Of course Ursa didn’t have that booming laugh of his, but regardless, they were kind and loving people.

The raven-haired beauty didn’t fear Iroh the way she feared her husband and father-in-law. However, Ursa was just as dedicated to Azulon as she was to her son and for years the images of her last night in the palace, the moment after hugging Zuko goodbye, have haunted her and caused her to lose much sleep. She knew Ozai had something to do with his father’s death. That wasn’t just some coincidence. Upon leaving her old home, the former princess wished she could have secured Azulon’s safety along with that of Zuko’s, but at the time she had to do what was best for her son. She wasn’t about to let her baby die.

“Zuko,” she sighed as she tried to hold back a wave of tears, “I hope you can forgive me, someday.”

Wrapping her slender arms beneath her ample chest, the abandoned woman retired herself from her tree and reentered her desolate abode. The stillness of the air made her lightly tanned skin creep and for a moment she regretted walking back into this damn place. Grabbing a worn shawl from the dusty kitchen table she threw it around herself and tried to imagine what her children were up to. Then, a quiet whisper at the front door pulled her out of her reverie and with haste she turned on her heels and pulled the door open toward her feminine figure. There before her stood Fulian, Ursa’s closest thing to a neighbor. She lived about a mile away and she was perhaps Ursa’s only friend. In her hands she was holding a loaf of bread and some koi fish wrapped in decorated paper. If it wasn’t for Fulian’s generosity the former princess would have probably starved herself to death after all of these years. Ursa only dared to venture into any kind of shopping area at least once a month, that way she could avoid exposing herself to too many people.

Gently, she took the things from Fulian and bending at her waist she hoped her bow was respectful enough to satisfy the old woman. “Thank you Fulian. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Ursa then watched her friend bow in response and before she turned away and headed on home, Fulian held Ursa’s gaze then smiled with much compassion.

“Rest Ta Min.” Ta Min was Ursa’s grandmother’s name, the name she chose to go by for so many years. “You need to rest or you’ll never have enough strength to make it out of here.”

Waving her friend goodbye and shutting the door behind her, Ursa did all she could to stop herself from crying. “Don’t hope,” she painfully reminded herself and with that she set the food aside, blew out the lantern and returned to her inescapable nightmare that she called: Reality.

Yuna, the first thing I have to say is that this is written very well, which is what I've come to expect from you.

You covered the basic things that we ask for - age, personality, appearance. You covered all of her relationships - her children, Ozai, Iroh, and even Azulon briefly, as well as how the war affected her, and of course, it would have affected her deeply, and you showed that well, I thought. You didn't cover her earlier history, which I would have liked to have seen, but I feel you covered the important things well enough. And you got the secret word.

All in all, this was very well done. I think you would do a great job with Ursa, and since SIN has not logged on or re-done his app...



Now, you need two more stamps and Ursa's yours.

That which Karena says is pretty much the same sentiment shared on my end. The only problem I had was the description, I just found it odd that someone her age wouldn't at least show some difference from her younger self- albeit I've met a man of forty-five who looked like he was in his late twenties- aside from that it all flowed nicely and made for a fun read.