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Plot Update 10 March 2021

A year has passed since Fire Lord Zuko ascended the throne, and it seems like trouble is brewing between the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom once more. The Fire Lord and the Avatar began the Harmony Restoration Movement to restore the Fire Nation Colonies to their pre-war state by bringing any Fire Nation nationals back home, but for many of the citizens — of mixed Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom … Read more ›

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Ty Lee -By Toru!!-

waterbender525
Jan 3, 2007 14:13:40 GMT -6

Post by waterbender525 on Jan 3, 2007 14:13:40 GMT -6

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[glow=red,2,300][shadow=red,left,300]I AM FINALLY DONE WITH IT![/shadow][/glow]
Here we go :)

A young, fourteen year-old girl, and extremely talented gymnast, Ty Lee, stood along the edge of the earthen cliff, staring down into the abyss, as if staring fiercely at an opponent. Hearing the fast paced footsteps of running behind her, she made up her mind. Quickly turning around so that her back faced the canyon, she swung her arms down, flung herself into a back handspring and into a double tuck into the canyon, landing on her feet, she started sliding down the canyon and reached a piece of rock that jutted out from the rest. Extending her feet, she stopped sliding and sat there, on that piece of rock and looked up to the top of the canyon. Squinting through the dust she saw some Earth Kingdom soldiers peer into the dust and shake their heads as if a fisherman almost caught a shark but failed. Ty Lee let out a small smile, jumped off the rock and landed gracefully at the bottom of the canyon.

Ty Lee strutted through the canyon until she saw an extremely small alcove. Walking up to it she walked in and descended down the stairs, she passed many Fire Nation soldiers and observed as the walls slowly turned from an earthen cave, into a metal casing. She reached the bolted metal door and said to the Fire Nation general, “Ty Lee, a friend of Princess Azula’s.” She smiled brightly as he nodded, unbolted the door, and stepped out of the way. Ty Lee nodded to him as she passed through the door into a giant metal chamber that led up like a chimney to the top of the cliff. She was standing on a metal circular walkway that led downwards into a slowly increasing in size, half three-dimensional oval shaped metal lab. The thirty feet in diameter hole in the roof let in a large ray of sunlight that focused on one pair of things: a basket, and a balloon.

Ty Lee looked around to see six workers working at a twelve-foot long desk, scribbling away at blueprints and at new ideas. Three workers prodded and examined the balloon and basket, experimenting with the blueprints that the workers at the desk were scribbling at. Turning her head a little more left, she saw Azula, along with Mai, under a small arch, talking about nothing that Ty Lee could hear. This is neat, what if the balloon popped though… Pop! Ty Lee ran up to Azula and greeted her with her fist in her palm, in front of her chest. “Azula it’s great to see you! This balloon is work of a genius! You’re really smart Azula, I wish I could’ve thought of that idea.” Ty Lee was downcast as all she received was a smile and a glance. Spacing out a little, Ty Lee was pulled back into the real world as Azula beckoned to her to be beside the balloon. Ty Lee followed Azula’s finger as she pointed to a crude, black, metal canister in the middle, a simple cylinder with a tapered opening in the top, with a switch. “This hot air balloon was recovered from the Northern Air Temple, and was confiscated from the general who found it. As we turn on the switch gas from this canister, is released and will fill up this balloon, and will make it ascend in the air.” As she said this, she made a line from her finger from the canister, to the opening, to inside of the balloon. To control where you are going, there is a bar in the back, which controls a wooden panel, which is used to turn the balloon. If you rise too high, simply turn off the canister.” Ty Lee started clapping and the sound waves echoed off the metal walls and repetitively sounded until they faded away. Ty Lee walked closer to the balloon and said, “What are we going to use it for?” She turned around to face Azula and saw the edge of her mouth twist into a smile. Then she heard the words, “For the great wall of Ba Sing Se of course.”

“For hundreds of years, the Fire Nation has tried to break through the wall, but now we have this… With a few tweaks that our mechanics are working on, the basket will be bigger, the canister will hold more gas, the balloon will be stronger, and the whole thing will be faster.” Ty Lee glanced towards Mai as they exchanged surprised looks as they saw Azula walk over to the balloon. I don’t get it, why are we taking a balloon to Ba Sing Se, wouldn’t they just pop it? Ty Lee did not share this information with Azula, for fear of angering her. Ty Lee has always been a friend of Azula’s, even as a child. She played cruel tricks on people and if she couldn’t do something that someone else could; she turned it into their embarrassment. Years ago, as they were doing gymnastics in the courtyard, Azula attempted a move and fell down, but Ty Lee landed perfectly, feeling proud about her skills. Azula, being jealous, walked over to her, knocked her down, pointed, and laughed. Ty Lee now always attempted to gain Azula’s friendship and was desperately hammering away to bond their relationship. Ty Lee and Mai are opposites, and as they say, opposites attract. They are nice to each other, and usually make sarcastic, but not hurtful jokes. As they were taking make-up off, Ty Lee, being girly, and a circus performer, that wore make-up, quickly removed it and made a sarcastic joke about how Mai always is wearing depressing make-up. Mai then looked over with two black streaks running from her eyes to the bottom of her jaw, and sarcastically said “Ha ha.” Ty Lee has always been girly, and perky. Always loud, casual and fun, she rarely gets mad, but she can really pack a punch, aimed at the correct places of course. Ty Lee as a child was a great gymnast, and also learned the art of Kyushu Jitsu, a martial art that concentrates on disabling the pressure points of a victim. Being girly she usually wore a flower skirt, with loose pants that go up to her knee under it. Also a loose top, and wrist braces for performing gymnastics tricks. Her shoes, instead of the custom, metal Fire Nation shoes, are replaced by comfortable, leather that was dyed red, and her hair is let down in a long braid, held together by a pink and red piece of elastic cloth. Also, Ty Lee’s eyes have been odd. Instead of the regular, golden, Fire Nation glinted eyes, her eyes are a light shade of gray. Ty Lee was broken from her daze as Azula patted the balloon, walked over to one of the workers and started pointing at some parts of the blueprint. Then she picked up the blueprint, gave it to another worker, who immediately started making changes on the balloon. Knowing what she was going to say, Ty Lee clenched her jaw as Azula said the three words, “Let’s go girls.”

The wind billowed at them as the balloon rose from the chimney like hole in the metal roof. Two workers, and six soldiers joined Mai, Ty Lee, and Azula on the balloon. Taking a stealthy attack, all of the people were dressed in green and yellow Earth Kingdom robes. From this canyon, it would only take about fifteen minutes to reach the outskirts of Ba Sing Se. Ty Lee put her elbows on the outside of the basket and looked up at the balloon, the insignia wasn’t there! Squinting to see, she saw the green, Earth Kingdom, insignia, patched onto the balloon.

As they flew over the desert that surrounded Ba Sing Se, Ty Lee’s braid blew out to her right as she looked at the cliffs. I’m never going to do that again. She turned to her left and saw the great wall of Ba Sing Se. Ty Lee looked at all of them and anxiety spread across her body. It was today, that the Fire Nation would infiltrate Ba Sing Se. The Impenetrable City… Ty Lee thought. Ty Lee waved at the soldiers on the wall happily as they shared whispers and pointed at the object in the distance. Nearing the wall, the balloon landed with a thud on the Great Wall of Ba Sing Se.

Ty Lee stepped out of the basket daintily and greeted them with the custom greeting of a superior to a minor. The soldier she was facing bowed down to her, as she smiled and told him to rise. Ty Lee shuddered as she heard Azula’s voice behind her. “We are politicians from Omashu, take us to the Earth King.” The soldiers nodded and directed her down a narrow path of stairs, leading from the wall, to the train that would take them to the Upper Ring. They all walked slowly into it, and while no one was watching, Ty Lee let out an exasperated sigh. Her heart beat faster as she looked around to see Azula smiling widely and Mai, with no expression at all as they slowly descended the dark stairway into the Lower Ring.

The group of eleven slowly walked towards the Earth Kingdom Palace. Each one sweating and their heart beating fast, knowing that at any moment, they could be discovered. As they neared the green double doors, two Earth Benders opened the doors with extreme slowness. Ty Lee broke into a cold sweat as they walked through the doors into an intersection. The Earth Benders showed them to another set of giant green double doors, and also opened them with excruciating slowness. They walked in to a giant room, with earthen pillars and at the back of the room was a throne, a bear, and the expensive silk clad Earth King.

Ty Lee saw Azula walk up into the center of the room, so Ty Lee followed. They walked to the middle and bowed down to the royalty. The Earth King motioned for them to rise, and immediately, they did. Ty Lee stayed quiet for she knew Azula could handle the, politics, and the converting of sides. Ty Lee blankly looked around as conversation passed by. This war always interfered with her life. Her passion was gymnastics; her rightful place was the circus. As a child she always wanted to be happy and peaceful. You could’ve called her… a hippie. People only do that because their lives have been interfered with propaganda by the Fire Lord. They think this is right, they think… that this war will help people. But whom would it help? This war seemed extremely useless to Ty Lee, and has polluted her upbringing with propaganda, violence, and hatred for the other bending nations. Ty Lee made no action to change anything for, what could she do? A gymnast who is in the circus could not stop a war. Ty Lee broke out of her daze soon enough. She dazed a lot, not being exactly the smart one. She was the fast, agile, flexible, strong, and happy one. The Earth King silently waved them off as Azula smiled. Oblivious to what have happened, she just followed Azula and Mai, into a bedroom, from which they will stay, so they could slowly… conquer… the whole Earth Kingdom.

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Last edit by waterbender525: Jan 6, 2007 11:12:57 GMT -6

Post by A Long Display Name Here on Jan 3, 2007 16:57:19 GMT -6

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Toru, I'm glad you've applied.

However, I have quite a few issues with your sample. Firstly, why are there so many OOC comments WITHIN your sample?

Secondly, there's too much godmoding of other characters going on. In order for me to see you as someone who can play Ty Lee adequately, I need the post to scream Ty Lee. With all the other character involvement, this reads like a Fan Fiction, rather than a roleplay.

For now, I'm going to say no. There are still 5 other staff members to come, so dont give up hope!
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waterbender525
Jan 3, 2007 17:08:39 GMT -6

Post by waterbender525 on Jan 3, 2007 17:08:39 GMT -6

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Alrighty thanks for your input! Although I must confess, I am not exactly sure how to make a post, and RP other characters without you know, making it fan fiction. I'll look forward to more staff member's inputs on it. I commented within because, I sort of started it right after I got the PM, and ... I've done a paragraph a time.

Thank's Katara :)
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kusari
Jan 3, 2007 19:03:51 GMT -6

Post by kusari on Jan 3, 2007 19:03:51 GMT -6

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I agree with Katara. You are certainly a good RPer, but I think you will have to make a shorter post, since you can't godmode all the people aroung you, perhaps with Ty Lee alone or with a minor NPC or something. After that, I think you've got this character in the bag =]

No for now, until the changes are made.
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waterbender525
Jan 3, 2007 19:27:21 GMT -6

Post by waterbender525 on Jan 3, 2007 19:27:21 GMT -6

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Thank you Kusari also for your input. I'm soo glad to hear those words. The words "You are certainly a good RPer." and "I think you've got this character in the bag =]." I will definitely... I dunno, print it, read it, redo it, with the same plot line. This is just a random question but, I've always wanted to write something like a book or a good fan fiction, but I always thought I wasn't a talented writer or RPer, but, do any of you think this is a good fan fiction, if it was the writing's goal?

:)

I JUST EDITTED THE APPLICATION
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Last edit by waterbender525: Jan 3, 2007 19:52:21 GMT -6
Anonymous
Jan 3, 2007 20:46:29 GMT -6

Post by Deleted on Jan 3, 2007 20:46:29 GMT -6

About the whole Aang kid well that was when this site first opened up and who knew it would be a hit and in terms of quality over quantity this would be closer on the quantity. As for Ty Lee’s persona I would have to say you kind of got it, the happy go lucky girl who loves her friends to the end. I loved the end with the whole rethinking the Imperialism thing, but that doesn’t sound Ty Lee.

And you missed a perfect Ty Lokka in there you could have had a funny Sokka Ty Lee fight there. Also try to space using the paragraph. I would have to agree with the other mods and say you didn’t quite nail it.
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Post by Gia on Jan 3, 2007 21:00:22 GMT -6

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Hmm... Well, I agree that you're a good RPer, and you've certainly improved drastically since you first joined, but I'd have to agree (well, by now you don't have it, since 3 mods have turned it down, but you did ask for my opinion). You seem to have Ty Lee down pat, but your post is marred by everyone. For future apps, focus less on the character's interactions and more on their feelings. Draw inward for your post, instead of outward. Do you see what I'm saying?

Nice try, but no.
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waterbender525
Jan 4, 2007 16:15:52 GMT -6

Post by waterbender525 on Jan 4, 2007 16:15:52 GMT -6

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Am I aloud to edit the application? Because, I guess I need to make drastic changes, or is it, one try, fail, try again? Sorry for the short post though. Thanks for all of your inputs!
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Post by A Long Display Name Here on Jan 4, 2007 23:52:46 GMT -6

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Toru-

Rather than edit the application, why dont you just post an entirely new one? That would make things a lot easier for us, and for you as well, by the way, since you wont have to filter through the stuff you want to keep, and the stuff you want to take out.
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waterbender525
Jan 5, 2007 5:44:27 GMT -6

Post by waterbender525 on Jan 5, 2007 5:44:27 GMT -6

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Should I delete this thread then? or should I just post an entirely new one on this thread...
But what if people don't want to visit it because they think it's stlil the same thing.
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kusari
Jan 5, 2007 20:12:01 GMT -6

Post by kusari on Jan 5, 2007 20:12:01 GMT -6

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Just modify your first post, deleteing all the old stuff and addign the new, and I'll make sure to keep and eye on it. Hurry though, you have some competition. Fu-Ling wants Ty Lee as well!
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waterbender525
Jan 6, 2007 10:12:13 GMT -6

Post by waterbender525 on Jan 6, 2007 10:12:13 GMT -6

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I made a totally new post, so ENJOY! Please be truthful, so I can improve more, and uhh.. again, I hope it is quality over quantity. Knowthat I will never hold grudges against anyone that says no. Not that that would matter. You're admins or mods :)
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kusari
Jan 6, 2007 14:00:21 GMT -6

Post by kusari on Jan 6, 2007 14:00:21 GMT -6

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Toru, I can see you worked hard on this. It is pretty good, you've cut back on GodModding and such, and you seem to show a little more thought. The idea is very good, but you had a few things off. First of all, Long Feng would have most definately met Ty Lee first, as he is the real controler of Ba Sing Se (was, at least). Also, it takes a very long time to meet the Earth King, and only the Warriros of Kyoshi (his bodyguards) could get to him quickly.

Also, just a few parts were choppy. At first Ty Lee loved Azula, even in her mind. But at the end it seemed as if she slightly resented Azula. Also, I don't think Ty Lee's character would have gotten nervous going into Ba Sing Se. She is powerful, and is with Azula, who can take out tons of people.

Sorry, but after reading both Ty Lee applications, I have to say no.
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waterbender525
Jan 6, 2007 21:37:11 GMT -6

Post by waterbender525 on Jan 6, 2007 21:37:11 GMT -6

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Kusari, I trust that you have made the ight judgements and I see your point. Ty Lee, is always happy and confident, usually not scared to go into Ba Sing Se. The Avatar himself, was offered a month as the shortest time to get to the Earth King and realize that three random politicians could not get to him immediately.

I apologize for not thinking into this, I hope you enjoyed it :)

Thanks,
Toru
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Post by A Long Display Name Here on Jan 10, 2007 17:10:49 GMT -6

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Unfortunately, hon, I'll have to agree with Kusari. I'm glad to see your enthusiasm, but the post just doesnt scream Ty Lee to me. I hope you wont let this discourage you, and that you'll keep improving your RPing. Thanks for trying honey, and good luck!
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