Just to Reiterate: please, do not get discouraged by our reviews. We are still accepting any and all applications for the role of Toph, regardless of whether or not you have already attempted to apply. In the event you have attempted to apply for this role, and wish to try again, you are more than welcome to do so, provided that you take our review of your prior submitted application to heart. Please, do not be discouraged.

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My Overall Review :: One common theme that I couldn't ignore --in all of the posted applications-- was the lack of Toph's voice. I know that no-one will play her exactly like me; I do know that, and do not expect anyone to do so. However, show of hands as to who read my sample, and/or even some of my Toph RP posts, and tried to closely follow how I depicted her? How many of you used my past Toph application / RP posts as reference for yours? Anyone? If you did, then I sincerely apologise... however, all of these posts felt as if they were written from an impartial third-person narrative, rather than with the spirit of Toph. Now, on to more individualised comments.

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Miharu :: Firstly, I want to thank you for your application. I know you were very hesitant to post, and it took a lot of courage for you to do so. I'm glad you tried out. =] That said, I'm afraid that I don't see you, currently, as someone who can play Toph. Your sample, in my opinion, was the most promising of the posted applications, and it took a lot of deliberation on my behalf to come to this decision. Reviewing your sample, I noticed you spent a lot of time writing "in the past". While narrating past events isn't disallowed, it just came across as very disjointed. Your sample is supposed to show us how you'd try to depict her in your roleplay with the canon cast; separating the sections of "A few weeks back", "Two weeks later", and "The Present" really confused me. For one, it's been months since Toph was recruited. For another, you spent so much time concentrating on "the past" and "two weeks" after that, the sample for the "now" felt really rushed and last-minute. It doesn't show to me that you understand how Toph has developed on TARP, and it really felt like a reiteration of the bullet points I outlined in my opening post. Lastly, as Karena touched on, we have been watching your posts in the RP sections; while two paragraphs is fine for non-canons, we really do expect more from canon players. I don't think you'll find a recent canon post under three paragraphs long. I personally feel that you might be overwhelmed with the length of our posts, as well. For these reasons, I will have to deny the application. As per my opening statement, however, you are more than welcome to try again. =] Please, don't let this review discourage you; instead, use it to help you grow and develop as a roleplayer. Thank you again for your application, and I hope to see another attempt.

Bosco :: I must admit, I am completely baffled by your application. With all due respect, I'm not even entirely sure you read my opening post. Or, if you did, it's like you read them, decided that it was too hard to write a sample, and instead concentrated on Toph's life before she'd even heard of the Avatar. This in of itself is a huge problem; your sample is supposed to depict how you would play Toph in relation to your participation in the canon plotline. If this is how you intend to play her, then I have no choice but to deny your application. As an aside, your post was also grammatically confusing. You switch from present-tense to past-tense not only mid-sample, but in mid-sentence. You indicated numbers in numerals, which is something you're not supposed to do from a grammatic standpoint, and is generally only considered acceptable for numbers over a hundred. The post itself was also very awkwardly phrased, and very disjointed. You're more than welcome to apply again, as I stated in my opening, but if you do so you need to show me what you can do with Toph. In all honesty, the post felt very disjointed and very out-of-touch with Toph not only in plotline, but in her developed personality. If you do decide to try again, please keep these factors in mind, and definitely take into consideration my opening post.

Gen Bai Ru :: I think the biggest issue that nagged at me, from a reader's standpoint, was the abundance of sentence fragments. For example:

. In reality she was a boisterous and loud tomboy. Who acted all the more so since she had the strength to take herself out of just about any bad situation she could manage to get herself into.

That fullstop after tomboy should really be a comma, considering your next sentence. "Who acted all the more so..." is a sentence fragment, and doesn't hold up on its own. This is only one example, however. From a canon perspective, I really did not get a feel of Toph from this post. Like Shio said, it felt like a summary of what I posted in my opening; there were times where you started to get in touch with Toph's persona, but you never quite reached it before going back to reiterating the bullet points in my first post. To me, this post was very intellectual: this is what happened to Toph, this is what's currently happening, and this is what she hopes for the future. It's a commentary written from an impartial third party, rather than being written as Toph. As such, I do have to deny this application as well, considering that what we're looking for is not an essay on Toph, but a ... I suppose third-person autobiography, as well as someone who is consistent with their posts. I know that you have been skirting the minimum requirement lately, which we simply cannot have with canon players. As with everyone else, you are more than welcome to try again, provided that you can not only depict Toph for what she has become, but can become more consistent with your post length and quality as well.

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I really hope that all the applicants will re-try, and take our critiques into consideration when doing so. I also sincerely hope that new applicants will surface, and keep in mind what we have already said to the other applicants (learning from others' mistakes) as well as keeping in mind the opening post's listed requirements. To reiterate, this role is still open for any and all applicants. I look forward to seeing re-tries and new tries in the near future.

Edit;; I will be continuing to play Toph until we accept a new player.

Haru :: Probably the thing that jumped out at me at first was Toph's usage of Aang's first name. She doesn't know it. =/ That just struck me as odd, considering I generally make sure to say 'The Avatar' when referring to Aang as Toph. Anyway, that was actually minor... my biggest issue with the sample in terms of portrayal is Toph's abrasiveness. I said in my OP that Toph has matured; this, to me, is very kiddie-Toph. It's very arrogant, very rude, and overall immature. There's a difference between speaking your mind (as Toph does), and being an arse (as you have her being). That struck a very negative chord with me, as I have worked hard to have this character grow up, whilst still retaining her sense of independence and free-thinking. Normally, I'd compliment you on technical merit; however, in this case, I can't. I see some very novice errors (eg: the constant use of 'she', 'her' and 'Toph') in this sample, and I have to say that these errors make me feel as if you weren't trying very hard. The sample feels rushed, as if you took a look at our denial posts, went "Hah, I can do better!" and proceeded to half-ass things because you figured we need a Toph player. Also, your recent canon posts have come into play with this application. As with Ty Lee, Toph is just too big a character to risk a lapse — in fact, I would say at this point she's bigger than Ty Lee, plot-wise. You post this length now, but it, again, is (to me) a false representation of the effort you're actually willing to put out on a consistent basis.

Overall, I just got a very disgruntled feeling when I read this sample, and for the reasons listed above, I'll have to deny the application.